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Society (and marriage) fails because no one is responsible amd because no one is held responsible. We are not responsible for our families, our partners, our kids. Not for our committmemts either. And that is dangerous.

Responsibility is what is needed in our society. Serious reflection, and depth of all aspects of an issue. Not just the presentation of one sided issues.

Psychologists know that catch phrases sell. They get politicians elected. They get books sold. But it is either irresponsible from people that you would hope know better, ignorance, or about the buck.

So today is my 3 year anniversary of BD.

Im not sure i want to get into the back ground because it would involve a story specific and identifiable.

But all i will say is that my ex MIL is a hypocritical, phony, obnoxious, annoying, codependent, ahole.

JujuB,

Is it possible that we have the same MIL?

So i had some issues with son. Texted ex about it and his responses and advise was fair, rational, valid amd comforting.

Yet he is the mam that left me and my son. He lied or deflected regarding our marital finances.

I am having trouble with this. Cause hes supposed to be a villain. Yet he is not as bad or as cruel as a lot of the other waywards.
He was whem he was leaving and before he left. But not now.

I feel thrown off. And dont understand why.

Maybe hes happy now. He got his way. Doesnt have to be married to me anymore. Thats all he wanted. Was to get away from me.

He still seems to have financial issues though.. has to give me money a little at a time, yet earns a lot, has a new luxury car and lives with his mom (i think) so something off.

So howncan he be nice, yet left me. Was i that bad of a person at the core?

No, JujuB, it's not you. And if he has a new luxury car he can afford to pay you on time. Get a court order if you need to. Don't let him make his financial problems into yours. I insisted on automatic withdrawals for my alimony aim my divorce and it's been the best thing ever.

Just be grateful he was able to behave as a responsible parent for one moment. I WZiSH I could speak to my ex about our adult children's issues but he's no help at all, so I don't involve him.

Not all villains come with horns and sinister angry grins.

Some come guised as snakes. Others put babies in prison and smile while they do it.

They come in business suits too.

Shivers at the thoughts

V

Vanilla, i am sick about what is going on here. I dont know how this is legal. To me it sounds like kidnapping.

Thanks kml. Child support and afterschool care are paid on time. Just not the medical/extracurriculars. Its almost that old pattern, where i feel guilty for asking him to pay. He presents like this poor guy that cant keep up with his bills.

Hi is against international law, and the US signed up to the rights of the child. OK so the way round it is to pull out. How did you guys choose this president? Trample (sic) over children's rights.

He should pay, this is for your child and it's not optional.

V

The current climate is really scary vanilla. I dont ubderstand how this stuff is going on.

Law suits have become the only means of checks and balances left in out country.

Thanks kml and vanilla. Regarding ex, he does pay for child support and day care on time. Its the extra curriculars and medical that he stalls on. Its annoying. It seems that he lives pay check to pay check, so extra expenses becomes a challenge. Im the first to say there is no reason for him to live pay check to pay check with his salary and free living arrangements.

So changing the subject, i have been dating someone for 10 months now. I trusted him because he has a similar background to me. Single dad with older child now. Mother had a lot of issues.

But i am getting a sense that he is compartmemtalizing my son amd i. Like i notice that when i invite him to do things with son and i, it rarely happens.something comes up. And he doesnt make an effort to arrange things for the 3 of us either.

The first 6 to 7 months i did not want to introduce my son to someone i was dating.
But then i thought it was time. So far i think the 2 of them might have met up a total of 2 times.

This is not something i would sign up for and i dont want to waste my time.

I have hinted and have extended invites. I dont want this turning into another situation with my ex and i, in which me and son get rejected.

But right now, because i am feeling that way i feel closed off. Like i dont want to go anywhere with him.

When we first met, he made sure i knew he was ok with me having a young child. He told me he would not have dated me if it was a problem for him. He even bought son birthday presents when we were only with each other for a month.

But right now there are no actions. I am feeling like he put his best foot forward but not sure the other is so hot.

Kind of like giving a waitress in arestaurant you frequent regularly a really nice tip the first visit and then just nornal or subpar tips later one.

Any thoughts?