I agree and see all the red flags, crazy attachment issues etc.. I have zero emotional attachment to lovely, but there is a strong sexual desire when it comes to her. she stayed over on wed night (I did not have sex with her) and Thursday she helped me get everything packed for my camp trip and we hung around the house. At some point while laying in bed, I took a picture of us kissing (I didn't have a shirt on, she did but it was sphegetti straps and it looked like she was topless), the pic came out good and she asked me to send it to her. I selected the photo and typed the name and hit send, then while in my pics was showing her my family and got a text from GG saying "um, okay... I'm happy for you".. Ugh, my stomach balled up, I realized when I typed the name, I typed GG instead of lovely. Replied, sry, sent to wrong person, then a few minutes later text her that sending her the pic was not intentional, she didn't respond.
After lovely left, I called gg and we talked. She wasn't upset about the pic, said I'm a grown man and can do what I want, but on the other hand I got the feeling that she was coming on stronger than she had done in the past, kinda like wanting what you can't have.
After talking to gg, I remembered how much I enjoy talking to her, sharing stories, sarcasm, etc, I don't have that with Lovely at all and knew I had to end it.
While driving to the lake fri morning, lovely text me good morning, I replied good morning and that I was going to turn the phone off for the weekend and just enjoy the outdoors and my buddies.. She didn't text me again for the whole weekend, and I'm going to meet her tomorrow near her house and give her some stuff she left here and tell her I don't want to see her again. Hopefully the weekend apart will make it easier on her.
M - 9 1/2 years 5/5/16 - Bomb drop - 3 week EA 10/31/16 - We sold house 01/10/18 - D Finalized
Second, I want to give a disclaimer about what I am about to say. I don't want you to think I am picking on you When I point out some stuff. because I am not. I never think you are ill intentioned in what you do, maybe, too good intentioned. So please take what I have to say in the vein of a little sister who cares.
Taking pictures in bed kissing is NOT a smart idea at all. This is a woman is a total Stage 5 clinger. It hurts you in more ways than one. First is , and honestly I would think this too, "he must be so in to me taking pictures of us kissing in bed! He probably wants to look back on it lovingly when he is missing me"! That's something boyfriend/girlfriends do. Not people who have known each other for a few days and have nothing serious going on. But you do that with a woman who wants something serious, well you ACTION showed her you are thinking of the two of you as a couple. The next thing you know this thing is going to become her profile pic on FB! she will change her relationship status, with PROOF! You were probably better off sending her a picture of your junk without any proof it was you in the pic, you know what I am saying? (don't do that). The weekend apart is going ot make it easier, but your actions with that picture will make it harder. Again, I know you are not ill-intentioned at all and don't mean to hurt anyone, but someone like her, well, she isn't going to take these mixed signals lightly.
As for GG. Well, maybe she realized she really likes you. Or wants what she can't have:) Sick game isn't it? Anyways I hope that oopsie made her realize she does like you that way.
I am glad you had a good weekend with the guys off the grid for a while. I need one of those.....well, with the girls. wait, no, with the guys!
Just throwing something else for you to think about into the mix as well...
You don't know this person. You don't know what is going on inside her head, what her motivation is, or what she is capable of doing.
That would make me very, very wary.
I know it sounds a bit over dramatic, and chances are everything will be fine. But I wouldn't want to take the gamble.
I remember XH got emotionally entangled with a work colleague (this was a good while ago, a few years before before the PAs). I reckon he was toying with her a little bit, but she considered it to be more (much, much more) than it was. She ended up stalking him for almost a year. I can't begin to describe how stressful it all was. Unbelievably stressful.
She had her own idea, in her own head, about what it all meant and what was going to happen between them. She's be emailing him, texting and calling, even in the middle of the night. And it was constant.
Please don't run the risk of putting yourself in that sort of position. You've got other things to be thinking about in your life, more positive, constructive things that you could be focussing on.
Ginger, you underestimate my self confidence and ability to own up to my mistakes, it would take a lot for me to feel picked on. I do think I knew that what I was doing was leading her on, but to be completely honest I wasn't sure I wanted to give up the physical affection (scummy of me, I know). I was completely honest with her with my words, but I will admit that my actions didn't match my words and what I knew needed to happen.
It was a struggle last night not to reach out to her, but I didn't and I will text her in an hour or so to see if we can meet at a park near her house after work so I can give her the stuff and let her know I won't be contacting her anymore.
I'm determined to end this, but that doesn't make it easy to give up someone who I'm so physically attracted to. I will give her props for not contacting me after I told her I was going radio silence on Friday morning, but I will not just assume that means that I misread her and she's not as attached as she showed.
M - 9 1/2 years 5/5/16 - Bomb drop - 3 week EA 10/31/16 - We sold house 01/10/18 - D Finalized
Ginger, you underestimate my self confidence and ability to own up to my mistakes, it would take a lot for me to feel picked on.
Nah, I think you are and should be self-confident and you own up to your mistakes. I come off as too harsh in my words sometimes and some have felt offended by me, so I like to add my disclaimer, because I don't come from a mean place when I post.
Of course it's hard to lose the physical affection and it sure is tempting. Honestly, if the sex was actually good with Mr. Softee but there was nothing else there, I would have had a harder time. And guys usually dump me, so I don't have to be the one to say no, haha!
Hey, if she didn't reach out, she is probably the type to have available people lined up because of her neediness. I do think she would drop you like a hot potato the moment someone else more available came along, which is what she is after.
You deserve better than that. You'll find it. Look at all the action you get the moment you decide you are ready to date!
I was talking to one of my girl "friends" about Lovely on my drive to the lake last weekend. She told me that she used to be one of those clingy girls and she said that once I told Lovely I was going off grid for the weekend, Lovely would get on OLD and have someone else lined up by the end of the weekend.
Well, I just text'd lovely asking to meet up after work, she asked me to just call. She started saying that I had time away to think, and after thinking about it didn't want to continue. She told me that it was alright, that a lot happened with her this weekend and she was fine and hoped that we could still talk or hangout occasionally.
I guess the secret to getting rid of a clingy person is just to find a way to remove yourself from the situation for a few days and they will find their own exit path Works for me, I was concerned about hurting her and now I don't have to worry about it. Just going to go drop her stuff off after work and wash my hands of that situation.
M - 9 1/2 years 5/5/16 - Bomb drop - 3 week EA 10/31/16 - We sold house 01/10/18 - D Finalized
[quote=Ginger1 Hey, if she didn't reach out, she is probably the type to have available people lined up because of her neediness. I do think she would drop you like a hot potato the moment someone else more available came along, which is what she is after. [/quote]
I posted before I read your reply, but you were spot on too.. I definitely do not want to be with that type of person... I mean, what if I hadn't changed my mind over the weekend.
M - 9 1/2 years 5/5/16 - Bomb drop - 3 week EA 10/31/16 - We sold house 01/10/18 - D Finalized
