You know what I almost forgot about my fabulous weekend. I went shopping on Saturday and ended up buying five new pair of dress pants for work, even spent more than I normally would on a pair of pants AND a pair of Polo jeans, low rise..they are so comfortable! I've been stressing about not having any summer clothes and now I'm set!!
Went out with three gf's Saturday night to a bar on campus..we had a hoot of a time. We usually don't stay out late...10:30 or so well it was after midnight before we were all heading home. We laughed, we joked, we drank fruity drinks and had an awesome time. We kind of "hung out" with a bachelor party..it was all innocent fun. One of the men hit on me and I just ignored him and played dumb.
One of the girls there looked at us four and says "so what brings you girls here tonight?" We say girls? And she says yeah "don't you go to school here?!!" I was wondering if she was serious, stupid, drunk and she was definitely blonde! No come on you guys go to school here don't you? It was funny! I can't remember the last time I had that much fun!!
Sunday was low key until all hell broke lose. H knew when I got home and even had to let me know that I was out for six hours! And did I find a boyfriend..his usual Sunday morning mood.
Was just sitting here getting a bit of work done and was thinking about you. Hope things are ok with H tonight. I hope H has had some time to think and calm down.
Quote: I think maybe your H and my H thought that OW would "fill them up" make them happy. And I really think the two of them are empty again. Your H is looking back at OW thinking she will do it... Gee, I think this could apply to many of us! I think it is just a matter of time, waiting for our H to "see" that the OW is not what they believe she is! For some reason they put the OW's on a pedestal; she is pretty, smart, nice figure, wonderful personality. NOT! Someday our H will wake up and see those OW's are human just like us. Will see they are not what they think they are.
You and I both know that they need to find themselves, and find that God shaped peg to fill that empty hole they have. Nothing else will fill them up. Yep, they will still be unsatisfied, miserable, even more then when they realize what they have done, what they are throwing away.
KK said that we are doing so much reading, discussing, analyzing and growing... we have reached out to find many resources. Our Hs aren't. So, even though it has taken us this long to get HERE, it will take them even longer. That is for sure, I guesss we figure they are there beside us with the knowledge in hand, when really they are at the beginning, struggling with themselves.
Step back, girlfriend. You have the Lord as your coach, listen to him and only him. Leave the battle plan to him.
Join the club! You've been here before Cathy, now, drop the rope and let God to his work.
When I got home from work last night, the house was quiet. H and S were sleeping, I had to get something out of the car, came back in and S was standing in the kitchen pointing to a mousetrap H had set that morning..there was a mouse in it!! After our exciting lunch they both slept.
I put brats into boil for supper. H was doing things outside and came in to see if I wanted him to start the grill, which H did. We grilled out, had dinner together, then took some of S4's old toys back to my S/BIL's house. My H told me that "this isn't a social visit either" It's the first time H has been there since before the bomb..my BIL is a big mouth who frequents the same bar where H and OW hung out, knows my H's friends....so H wasn't liking him too much for awhile. Anyway they have been remodeling the house for quite awhile and are close to being done. H was invited in and we stayed for a little bit and were "social" My H has to children a boy and girl and S4 loves going there..it's his second home. Came home, had ice cream, watched TV together and went to bed. H downstairs.
This morning H was up, took the trash out, took son to his pre-school and I got to work on time, two days in a row! H is off this week because of his job and also becuase he's turkey hunting the next three days.
So last night was fine. It seems like H enjoys being with us....maybe it's just me, but he seems to genuinely like being a family H smiled about something I said, the kind of smile I haven't seen in a long time--I said a dumb blonde thing, really dumb...but H laughed.
I'm on a "me" vacation after today, taking a break from my job for some rejuvenation. I'm just going to hang out at home, do some house things, golf, relax, be selfish....S will be at daycare, H will be turking hunting. The weather is suppposed to be great!!
And, of course, talk to my friends here at the BB!
I really don't mind that H is sleeping in a different bed, gives us both a break. I get the whole bed, my books, my reading before I go to sleep.
Just taking things day by day at this point. No expectations and praying.
{{{{Cathy}}}} I am just getting caught up on things. Oh my thoughts and prayers are with you. I read a daily devotional and came across this one and thought of your husband, (mine too).
Quote: Are you having a hard time getting through life or facing a challenging situation? Are you trying your best, only to find there is usually something or someone in your way? Perhaps you should consider these words: “your external world is an accurate reflection of your internal state of being.” Believe it or not, your inner life is the cause and the source of everything that manifests around you. Consequently, your life will always let you know when there is something “in” you that requires you attention.
It is so true that they have so much inside of them to deal with. Keep him in your prayers to be given the stregnth to be unravel it all.
Cathy, you are one of the strongest people I "know". You are a wonderful person and a awesome mother.
You are in my thoughts and prayers.
I would also like to thank Laurie and Snodderly for the insightful posts. I am one of the many who gain knowledge and that helps to understand and make some sort of sense of it all.
I ordered a book called "Wild at Heart--Discovering the Secrets of a Man's Soul" by John Eldredge as recommended to me by Holdingon.
Quote: In this provocative book, Eldredge gives women a look inside the true heart of a man and gives men permission to be what God designed them to be—dangerous, passionate, alive, and free.
Looking forward to reading it.
Have a great day and thank you for the compliment
Laurie is awesome, inspiring and sooo very insightful and has a true connection with G. Snodderly, I am so thankful for her wisdom and insights into the MLC world. Both of these people are a blessing to the BB.
Do you receive the Inspiration Channel? If you do, turn it on because John Eldrige has a show on there on Saturday nights called Wild at Heart.
There are also some great programs on there that will help you on your journey. John Hagee is on there as well as Benny Hinn. Those programs have helped me alot on my journey to learn more about the Lord and what he has in store for his people.
Not to mention the Bible and prayer.
Continue to work on the friendship with your husband. He has released alot of what has been inside of him and the Lord is working on healing him. The pressure is now off for a while. He needs to concentrate on healing and you need to concentrate on the friendship. Not on the marriage because that is too much pressure for him at this time because he can not be the husband that you need right now. He will in time, but now he needs to heal.
He is coming to you now because he can. He does not feel that you are wanting more from him then what he is able to give at this time. On the other hand, the OW wants so much more from him that he can not give her. He feels safe at this time and you are noticing the changes because of this.
Continue with your journey that you are on and continue working on you.
I'm not sure if I get that station or not, I'll definitely check!
Quote: He has released alot of what has been inside of him and the Lord is working on healing him. The pressure is now off for a while. He needs to concentrate on healing and you need to concentrate on the friendship.
This is the way it felt, the pressure is off. H is relaxed again, everything must have been spinning around inside of him for days or weeks, who knows and it needed to be let out.
Quote: Not on the marriage because that is too much pressure for him at this time because he can not be the husband that you need right now.
And that's okay. Friendship is good. I am a great friend and like having fun. I'm hoping I can open up to my H the way that I can and do with my friends, nothing is held back. I'm not judged, I am accepted for who I am and not critized..oh okay I am sometimes, but we just laugh about my quirkyness at times, I don't take things seriously with my friends either. (I will wait until the appropriat time to share this with H if I NEED to share otherwise actions speak louder than words don't they?)
Quote: Continue with your journey that you are on and continue working on you.
I try to thank the Lord everyday. On the really tough days, the low days, I make a special effort to thank the Lord. Maybe because there are so many good things in my life even during the bad times.
Remember as youi want him to accept you as you are, you must do the same for him. That is a very important part. Accept everything from him right now because that is what he needs and that is what the Lord does for us.
He accepts us for who we are and tries to help us to become better Christians. That is what you are going to need to do for your husband. Be that special friend that he can talk to and be around.
The hardest part is not taking things personal. As he sees you doing this, he will start to feel safer around you.
I was wondering if she was serious, stupid, drunk and she was definitely blonde! No come on you guys go to school here don't you? It was funny! I can't remember the last time I had that much fun!!