Thanks, V.... You make it seem easy. I guess it's just gonna take practice...
Side note, I was going through some papers that were in the van, and came across some CEFS paperwork. W had requested rental assistance from CEFS, and is claiming that she was homeless and taking care of the kids. On top of that, she made a statement in one of the papers that she was "leaving a domestic violence situation", which came as a complete shock to me. I've never once even thought of hurting her. She is also making claims that she has been giving me money for the past couple of months to help with bills and childcare costs. I can't believe that she is being this dishonest, but at the same time I'm not surprised. She is telling everyone what they need to hear to get what she wants. It blows my mind that she made the domestic violence comments, while at the same time has been stringing me along, telling me she loves me, and saying she wants things to work out. Calling me yesterday wanting to be friends?!?! Why would you want to be friends with someone that is supposedly violent with you? W is living in a complete fantasy land...
Me: 38 W:31 Kids: S16(mine from previous R), D10, S9, S4 M: 10 years T:12 years BD:Jan 3, 2018 W moved out: Apr 13,2018 Filed for D: Jun 2018 D final: Sep 2019
keep good records of everything and you will be all set man. I know it sounds messed up but I think the fact that she's trying to string you along is actually probably a good thing stand your ground And be patient. this gives you a really good opportunity to continue setting boundaries and enforcing them
M: 35, EX-W: 3, S:4 All Divorce Proceedings Complete - Oct 18 ----------------------------------------------------- 2nd EX - Was Engaged - Diagnosed BPD 2 Major breakups. 2 Rebounds
W just called and told me she needed money, so she was going to pawn her engagement ring. They offered her $200. I paid over $1700 for the thing. Then she asked if I would buy it from her. Then she quickly added, "I'm not going to use the money for drugs" and said she needed an oil change and a new tire for the van. She said she needed the money tonight. I told her I didn't have it, and if she wanted to sell it to me, she'd have to wait until tomorrow. I didn't want to take it back from her at first, because I don't want to enable her, but she was going to get the money from a pawn shop anyway. That and it is worth much more than that, and our plan was to give it to our daughter someday. So I agreed to buy it from her. I'm not sure if this was the right thing to do, but like I said, she was going to get $200 for it somewhere and it's worth much more than that. And believe it or not, it still does hold some importance to me, and I would like to give it to my daughter someday. So I guess I have to have a WW encounter tomorrow. Wish me luck...
Me: 38 W:31 Kids: S16(mine from previous R), D10, S9, S4 M: 10 years T:12 years BD:Jan 3, 2018 W moved out: Apr 13,2018 Filed for D: Jun 2018 D final: Sep 2019
W just called and told me she needed money, so she was going to pawn her engagement ring. They offered her $200. I paid over $1700 for the thing. Then she asked if I would buy it from her. Then she quickly added, "I'm not going to use the money for drugs" and said she needed an oil change and a new tire for the van. She said she needed the money tonight. I told her I didn't have it, and if she wanted to sell it to me, she'd have to wait until tomorrow. I didn't want to take it back from her at first, because I don't want to enable her, but she was going to get the money from a pawn shop anyway. That and it is worth much more than that, and our plan was to give it to our daughter someday. So I agreed to buy it from her. I'm not sure if this was the right thing to do, but like I said, she was going to get $200 for it somewhere and it's worth much more than that. And believe it or not, it still does hold some importance to me, and I would like to give it to my daughter someday. So I guess I have to have a WW encounter tomorrow. Wish me luck...
Yes it's the right thing to do. Whether you want ultimately to give this ring to D or you want to sell it and buy a lovely piece of jewellery will be your choice.
This way it's your shout.
Hand over the cash, take the ring and stay Schtum.
V
Freedom is just another word for nothing left to loose. V 64, WAW
Thanks, V.... You make it seem easy. I guess it's just gonna take practice...
Side note, I was going through some papers that were in the van, and came across some CEFS paperwork. W had requested rental assistance from CEFS, and is claiming that she was homeless and taking care of the kids. On top of that, she made a statement in one of the papers that she was "leaving a domestic violence situation", which came as a complete shock to me. I've never once even thought of hurting her. She is also making claims that she has been giving me money for the past couple of months to help with bills and childcare costs. I can't believe that she is being this dishonest, but at the same time I'm not surprised. She is telling everyone what they need to hear to get what she wants. It blows my mind that she made the domestic violence comments, while at the same time has been stringing me along, telling me she loves me, and saying she wants things to work out. Calling me yesterday wanting to be friends?!?! Why would you want to be friends with someone that is supposedly violent with you? W is living in a complete fantasy land...
Now you know you can't unknow.
It's another step forward in healing. Some of us get there through disgust rather than anger.
Just validate, sorry you have to sell your ring, it will resolve the car issue for you though.
V
Freedom is just another word for nothing left to loose. V 64, WAW
Oh and you did keep a copy of the paperwork didn't you? V
Yes, I did...
Me: 38 W:31 Kids: S16(mine from previous R), D10, S9, S4 M: 10 years T:12 years BD:Jan 3, 2018 W moved out: Apr 13,2018 Filed for D: Jun 2018 D final: Sep 2019
mtb the ring thing is a tight tough one. I think you're attaching sentimental value to it because you still haven't moved on completely. I'm not sure what the right answer is. But I do know when some one claims something like "it's not for drugs" usually that is exactly what it is for.
The hard part is she likely knew that pawning it for so little would see you spring into action. Make sure you draw up a bill of sale so that later she can't claim ownership of it.
M(53), W(54),D(19) M-23, T-25 Bomb Drop - Dec.23, 2017 Ring and Piecing since March 2018
