Divorcebusting.com Forums Open Forums For Newcomers Wife is not who I married...please help

Andrew- I started reading SBJ thread -wow alot of similarities to my story. I did scroll ahead to find out that although he did get his wife- He succeeded at getting his LIFE (GAL). Lesson here no matter what happens with your W as long as you strive and become the best YOU possible- Then in the end YOU WILL WIN!!! Not so easy to do when your in the middle of sh!t!! For everyone here say positive, my prayers are with you all. LoneWlf

Just a warning, not through the site, please don't publish numbers or emails here. The site does get trolls occasionally too.

Read the board rules too, you are both awesome posters and I should hate to see you suspended.

V

Sorry vanilla- no harm intended..

Yes I know, however there are ways. For instances posters often go on the same courses. Or arrange a physical meetup in front of the station clock at 5pm Thursday at a town called W......

Ie use code something that can't be repeated. Or on one occasion I met one great new friend by agreeing a meetup at a dance weekend outside room 56. Or using code on an external site such as CanadiansRus.

V

Thanks vanilla-
BTW with Mothers Day coming up. IN the past I would buy her presents make her a nice dinner. Now that she wants out what should I do? Any advice will help. thanks in advance

Mother's day is the week after she is moving out so she won't be around to have dinner made for her.

The general concencus is that it's fine for a gift from the child to be provided but you've been fired from the job of organizing her life.

My kids are both adults and I leave it up to them to coordinate things with their mother. Since I'm more organized I usually get dibs on special days.

Get the kids to make something with glue paint and string.

It's mothers day not wife day.

V

With a teenager give 15 and tell him it's a secret Santa. He is S15 old enough to buy something appropriate or inappropriate as suits his humour.

So if he buys a broken pot or a loo brush, all well and good.

V

Andrew and Vanilla thanks so much for your input about mothers day.

My son and I have become alot closer during this turmoil.It seems that he only trust me at this point.One thing I need to ask you is my son hates the fact that his mom just quit did not try will not go to MC (We did go once 4 yrs ago ). I tried to facilitate a relationship between them. I've said that he still has to treat his mom with respect and dignity. I've spoken with my priest and he said to allow my son to heal in his own time. He has told me he doesn't want his mother to come to his upcoming band concert ( he plays the sax)and his baseball games. I'm torn weather to tell her or not because if I tell her and she goes I'm going against my sons wishes and right now I don't want to upset him if shes goes. I also feel as his mother she should know so that she can go if she chooses. Should I make him tell his mother or just let it be. On a side note The woman I married would cry at Disney movies- and now she walks around the house with no emotion just coming in after work eating and then going upstairs in the spare room to speak with her mom and sister for 2-3 hours. Son has plainly asked his mother to go to MC just for him - her reply was No - I'm done. In this scenario what would you guys do?

My thoughts are the same as your priest, seems sound to me. Let S15 come to his own thoughts and conclusion.

MC and lack of is between his parents, it's adult stuff. In any case MC is only useful between adults who want to R. So lack of MC may just indicate that.

Don't lie to S15 but don't embellish, Ie call mum a dim-witted idiot etc with low morals, kids generally want to love both parents and it's ok to do that. His R with his mom is really for him to manage on a day to day basis. It's ok for him to say mood I don't want you at my concert but he can't be the boss of mom. She may show anyway.

So get out of the way, let S15 deal with his mum in his own way, tell him you trust him to decide, you won't interfere and are there to support him. No drama. Grey Rock.

My thoughts

V