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How is she blocking your access to GAL? Is she working during the time you are with your child? Or is she going out?

One of the difficult things abput beimg a parent is that it takes time and committment and when they are little, its difficult to have a hobby. Any way ypu counselor can look at both of ypur schedules to work on getting time for both of you.

Regarding intimacy, your wife might find it challenging sensing your resenment torwards her. It does not sound like you guys spend time together. What is her love language? What is yours? Intimacy usually comes when needs are getting met.

I think i read your post wrong. I thought you discovered an affair in fall of 2017.
Did you? Yes she is acting aloof. But she says she wants to work on marriage. Im not sure of she is havimg an affaor or if maybe you are saying she is to act and give yourself an excuse to stonewall amd disappear or disconnect. This wpuld be crucial to know.

What does she say she needs in order to work on the marroage. You say intimacy. What would she need to brimg back that feeling.

Did you ask her that?

She got used to the cake eating and now she’s going to couples counseling just to keep an appearance that she’s working on the marriage but she still denies the affair what for me means she’s not willing to give up the affair.

Opinion or mind reading?

She wants the confortable family life that I give to her and the thrill of the illicit relationship. She’s been having it for almost 2 years because I was in denial but now I’m not in denial

Opinion or mind reading?

and all I’m realizing is that I have been micro managed to the point that she starts to work at 11 am and me at 7 am. She drops the kid t school at 8 am and then she has from 8 to 11 am free time that is never accounted for.

Intel


I get home after picking up the kid at daycare and get home at 4 to cook and take care of the kid because she works until almost 8pm.

This is your child isn't it? 'The' kid is yours.

And when she gets home she’s always tired, always a headache, belly ache, back ache, etc and the only intimacy is on Saturday morning, half sleep quickie with bad breath included and that’s about it.

Really?


Then the week starts again... I feel worn out because I would like to pursue a hobby or something and I can’t because I have to take care of the kid most of the day and when she gets home I’m too tired and is too late to go anywhere.

'The' kid


Is frustrating and today at couples counseling I’m going to drop the bomb and I will leave on Friday.

It might be frustrating and needs to change.
Children should come first in my view.


I can’t take this anymore.

Then change the dynamic that is applying DB.

V

Without proof of an affair im not sure who the real walkaway is in your case.

If no affair, i feel like you might be actually one of the few on here that has the potential to make this work.

Like maybe its just a misunderstanding of the sexes, combined with the hardships of being in a 2 income family.

If thats the case MWDs books are great at teaching how 1 person really can alter the dynamics.

I highly suggest one of the on call DB therapists. They were much better then any of the counselors we went to.

Babysitting, good therapy is a lot cheaper then a divorce. Have you thought that through?

Maybe I missed it, but I don't remember you saying you've caught her with proof that she's having an affair. Your assumption that she is will kill your marriage as soon as if she actually is. Even if she is having an affair, marriages can recover from infidelity, but you must be patient. Give it time.

Like JujuB says, counselling and a babysitter are much cheaper than a divorce.