Divorcebusting.com Forums Open Forums For Newcomers WAW? Would Love Opinions. Part 12

LOL...thanks V, it certainly feels that way but I am at peace. I had no emotion during the conversation. I thought it was odd the she knew nothing of the process, had no plans and had not consulted with an attorney. If this was a temp check then it was pretty major.

It isn't a temp check. This is a W who is regrouping herself. I think so.

Keep on trucking, leave the door wide open as long as you want to do so.

It is OK to stand.

V

What do you mean by regrouping?

I am curious to hear what you mean by "regrouping" too

J9,

I don't find it odd. Your W is not ready for D. She was trying to gauge you (temp check). She looks miserable because she is. She seems like a very stubborn person. You have probably added fuel to her misery, by showing her a confident, prepared J9.

She's came apart. She is hurting and lost.

I don't see anything wrong with standing for your M.

IMO your W won't being doing the work for this D.

Are you both A type personalities? If so than, seems to me that both of you might be waiting for the other one to blink. Just my opinion.

She isn't wayward. So she will be rationally looking at her choices. All of them.

Making a decision means closing down choices. She is tired and down, giving up an M is hard and emotional. Especially for the walkaway.

Plus you are behaving in ways she didn't expect.

So she has retreated to a safe location and gradually getting herself together. Your best strategy is to stand like the lighthouse. Merely to say D isn't what you want.

Keep on working on you, keep on demonstrating that the new you won't be offering the old M but a new one.

So she is regrouping like a tired army with no food or amunition whose soldiers have trekked a long way with bad boots on empty stomachs and foot blisters.

She is emotionally worn out, please note this is the opposite of a wayward who is bizarrely hyperactive and hyper. That's one of the ways you can tell.

She actually doesn't know what to do or decide. Just keep on with the friend stance.

My thoughts

V

It's not temp checking as she isn't wayward. She wants to know to include it in her deliberations.

Temp checking is very different, the wayward wants plan A and to keep the other as Plan B.

The walkaway has no plan A.

Just saying

V

Thanks V....she started off the convo by saying she was ready to move forward with D and she fully knows she is the one that will need to file (obviously I should not believe all of her words). Me filing never came up in the convo. She knows all the work will fall on her shoulders. When she left I told her to keep me posted and I would give her any information she needs.

I have been friendly during our interactions but still have not been pursuing or initiating conversation. She definately has all the space she needs to sort out her feelings. Should I continue with this same course of action?

It is obvious to me that she has no real plan and in many ways I feel very sorry for her. I realize I can't save her but if she desides to move forward she really will have no one in her life as she has no family outside of me and the kids. I am sure that weighs heavily on her however it is her journey to figure out.

She isn't wayward, she doesn't need saving!

I would just go Schtum on the D. Be friendly. That's the convo, say nothing more.

Keep on keeping Sandis rules they suit a walkaway sitch perfectly.

You have the gift of time, take it.

V

Thanks V.....I will stay the course.