We did child custody mediation today and came to an agreement. I am happy with the agreement. It is 50/50 joint custody. We then discussed afterwards going forward how to do the financial part and I think we have an agreement on how to proceed there too. I think at least the D process will be civil and we will be able to come to agreement on all the issues without too much ill will towards each other.
At home I did screw up later. I was outside watering the garden, I noticed my W left groceries in her car, and then I thought what else does she keep in the car? I had opened the trunk when she came out. I was caught red-handed snooping. Not the best me. She was obviously very upset.
I did exercise afterwards with friends, although called it quits early because I felt spent. Mixed emotions are the name of the game here -- happy that the mediation went well, and depressed about my sitch at the same time.
I've been having mixed emotions for years, sometimes at the same time. It's getting better, as I come out of my own fog, remembering the bad, as well as the good, and wondering if maybe I'm not better off without her in my life. But it sure would be nicer if I could just have the happy ones....
M:23 T:26 Me:53, Wife: 60 S:18 D:16 filed 7/16 W moved out 4/28/17
Living together and seeing each other each day just reminds me what I'm losing in terms of the marriage and how my life is changing. Under these conditions it's hard emotionally to go from "here's my W" to "here's my soon to be ex-W". So I still react or feel anxiety with all the interaction as if she is my W.
It would be much easier if we were physically separated. I wouldn't then have constant reminders, and I would be able to move on better to a new life.
I imagine my W also feels similarly, but her reaction seems to be more resentment towards me. Of course, how would I know since we don't talk much about any of this.
I do think once we're separated, we will have a good co-parenting relationship.
