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GW.....so you set that as boundary and what where her consequences for breaking the boundary?

Losing her WiFi access was the best I could come up with at the time. The options were limited. I can’t put her out and she will not leave on her own. In my state as long as there is no domestic violence and her name is also on the deed I can’t put her out or change the locks. Losing her WiFi access was the best enforcement of my boundary. Without it she cannot text or FaceTime him while in the house. She will have to go out and up the road to do this. To me it is disrespectful to me, our home , and our children for her to hole up in a room for two hours at a time, ignoring the kids, to talk to this a$&hole. If I am wrong someone please tell me because I feel so restricted in what I can use as a boundary and a consequence. To me, losing her WiFi access is a consequence of violating my boundary. We live way out in the country and WiFi is basically how we get everything- tv, internet, etc. I pay all the bills and I will not allow her to use something I pay for to have video sex with OM for an hour or two. She will not use our home as her A base. As I said, if I’m wrong please tell me.

She is putting on a sex show for OM in your house and you don't want to D her because of why?????? That is what you need to think about IMO you are far beyond dealing with WIFI issues.

She puts on a sex show for another man in your house with your kids in the house with the door locked and your response is to take away her WIFI? G-Dub.....that's not good.

So you take away the WIFI......can't she go sign up again? Does she have any money to pay that bill?

No she doesn’t have the money to pay the bill. I am filing right after Christmas. I didn’t want to have a divorce going on during the holidays for the kids sake. This activity is new, just started this week. She can’t sign up for any thing else, and at present this seemed the best option. I had planned on filing anyway but this seals the deal. It’s all I can do, joesph9. The WiFi is to address the immediate issue. The D filing will take care of the rest. I have gotten to the point where D seems the best option at this time. She is out of control, in my opinion, and nothing I do will matter to her until she is served, and maybe not even then. It’s as if she’s had a mental break of some sort. I have saved all the crazy texts and plan on going for full custody given her actions and state of mind.

Sorry GW, I know it hurts. It sounds like you just need to get through the holidays the best you can and then file. I don't see an issue with restricting the WIFI. But definitely you need to file ASAP.

I am joe. I’ve tried. I’ve tried hard. She is a completely different person with a completely different mentality now. She told me last week that if OM broke it off she’d date someone else vs working us out. She has several strays messaging her and hitting on her. I’m nondoctor, but from what I’ve read it almost sounds like a MLC. She is 47 years old so I guess it’s possible. She has no plan for post D other than to say she’ll just figure it out...... I’m at a loss and ready to let it go and just worry about the kids and myself. She can fend for herself

Who knows GW.....you will probably never know. You just have to let go and move forward with your life.

It is easier said than done but don't waste any more of your energy on her. Just start taking care of yourself and making a great life for you and the kids.

Your boundary is not contacting OM while she is in the house. But you are okay if she contacts him outside of the house? Are you okay with an open marriage?

No I’m not okay on either count. But there is really no way to stop her from contacting him away from the house. That is impossible to enforce or even prove. I would obviously prefer her to have no cantact whatsoever with this POS, but how do you stop it if you don’t know it’s happening? . She pays her own phone bill because I will not pay to allow her to contact him. The best I can do contac wise is makenit as difficult as I can for her to contact him . Shutting down the house does that. We live in a remote area so that’s the best route. Nothing else I can do until I file for the D. Hate to be the one to file but if I file first l come out a lot better in this county than she will.

GW, remember that a boundary is for you, not someone else. You have no way to enforce a boundary on her. If finding out about her contacting the OM hurts you, what can you do to minimize the pain on YOU? That's where your boundary should be.