At some point since BD. I have hit everything on that list except for about 3 things. Now I am doing so much better. There stuff should be taught in IC, because I seriously could have used DB'ING initially.
T.....i agree, there is so much information out there sometime i feel as though my brain is on overload. I think the quicker people can adopt these rules the better off they will be personally and probably the better chance they have to save their relationship. I personally don't think mine is, I think my W was 100% done when she walked out the door. To quote her...."I know this won't work, I just feel it 100% in my bones".
As I have been reading and reflecting I have been keeping track of things I will implement either with my W or the next relationship I have. I thought I would share in hopes that maybe it will resignate or inspire someone else:
1. Do not apologize for how I feel 2. Be happy outside of my relationships, I am 100% accountable for my happiness. 3. Become self-reliant 4. Don’t chase sex. 5. Her feelings don’t define me or effect my moods 6. Go to bed content and wake up happy 7. Talk more clearly and boldy, don’t fear reaction or judgement 8. Trust myself, be decisive and don’t seek approval 9. Don’t be an [censored]. 10. My happiness is not based on feminine approval, sex or unconditional commitment. 11. Owning our own happiness and facing our fears is scary. Fear of change and the unknown freezes us in place. 12. Don’t ask too many questions, where are you going, what are you doing, who are you texting, etc. 13. Don’t ask are you okay? Whats’ wrong? Are you mad? How are you doing? 14. Be calm, deliberate and pleased. Cool headed, secure, reagal, aware, curious, playful, loving, protective, brave, sensitive and caring. 15. Be goofy, fun, flirty, sexy, don’t analyze her moods and don’t give $hit what she thinks 16. I AM THE PRIZE!!!!! 17. I am worthy of love, inspiration and passion 18. Women can feel your intentions 19. Don’t ever think she is not a sexual woman 20. She has no choice but to lead if you’re not trying 21. She expects you to understand how to help her feel safe emotionally 22. She picked you for a reason 23. No tit for tat…. 24. I just want to relax 25. I just want to feel like I can count on him 26. Connect…..shut off the computer, the phone, your work brain. Be awake and aware 27. Invite……into a funny moment, a goofy look, random kitchen dance, a dirty joke, 5 sec kiss, loving hug, to a vacation 28. Create…..new conversations, dreams, inspire her to dream about something bigger 29. Don’t fake affection 30. Don’t make her feel stupid 31. Don’t interrogate
W just texted me and told me she is going out of town for the weekend with 12 other girls to celebrate a friends birthday and they got a house real cheap. She also told me she would be home in time to get our girls on Sunday night.
Not sure why she feels obligated to tell me all this....she just could have went and I wouldn't have known the difference. I guess she just felt like I needed to know.
I just told her thanks, safe travels and where she could get the kids on Sunday.
It doesn't help to read into it; maybe she wants you to care and be a bit jealous, maybe she just said it without thinking much, or maybe she is friend-zoning you. No way to know for sure. Sorry :-(
I wanted to say that I liked your GAL ideas and the idea of digging deeper. Cooking classes sound great! Why not try both types? If you are the guy that brings a good bottle of wine, you will absolutely make new friends by the end of the evening!
Blu
“Forgiveness liberates the soul. It removes fear. That is why it is such a powerful weapon.” – Nelson Mandela
Hey blu..I was thinking the same thing as I was typing it. It is odd for her to text me details of what she is doing but who knows....it really doesn't matter.
I think I am going to try both. I do enjoy wine and making homemade pizza. One of the classes was a pizza class so maybe I could learn a few new tricks.
Going by myself would be completely out of my comfort zone. I know I would feel wierd as I would proably be the only person their with no 1 else. Maybe the group would adopt me??????
I go to all kind of events by myself all the time. I think it shows a lot of strength. We have been taken out of comfort zones. Why not use this time to try ad many new things as possible.
M:37 W:37 T:11 M:10 S17, S13, S10, S4 BD:06/28/17 OM confirmed 07/20/17 Recon the M 10/29/17 Working hard:2gether
Onward and forward
This process is not a sprint it's a marathon! Patience, Patience, Patience.
