Jm....this site has been better than therapy for me. I have no updates in my sitch but this place has been awesome to help me feel not alone and to help me re-gain my confidence. It is also a great way journal and discuss things with folks that have gone through the same problems.
I can agree with that. It has definitely been a good bridge for me until I can get into IC in a few weeks.
Married 9: Together 11 M:37 W:35 S:2 D:7 Bomb dropped 6/3/2017 W moved out 7/1/2017 Separation Filed: 8/1/2017 Modified to Divorce: 8/21/2017 Divorced: 10/5/2017
I am currently in IC and to be honest this has been better than that.
Are you in IC strictly for MR issues, or for other reasons?
I am in IC for mostly reasons that contributed to the issue with my MR, not the MR itself.
Married 9: Together 11 M:37 W:35 S:2 D:7 Bomb dropped 6/3/2017 W moved out 7/1/2017 Separation Filed: 8/1/2017 Modified to Divorce: 8/21/2017 Divorced: 10/5/2017
All topics are on the table it started off as MR related but now we are discussing more things about me. I realize that everyone is different and some people have had a lot of trauma in their lives to work through not including this stuff. I have been lucky in that regard and my failures as a H have to do with me becoming lazy in the marriage.
I went last week and we discussed what my goals where, what is my purpose in life and things like that. I told my IC that maybe something was wrong with me because I am a happy and content person. She said why is there a problem with that? I couldn't answer the question other than my W was not content so I felt like maybe I was doing something wrong. My IC said well maybe she is the one with the problem.
Jm....this site has been better than therapy for me. I have no updates in my sitch but this place has been awesome to help me feel not alone and to help me re-gain my confidence. It is also a great way journal and discuss things with folks that have gone through the same problems.
I will second J dawg here. This site has been way better for me than IC. Only since last two sessions has IC become really helpful as I am now digging deep into issues that relate to my personality and root causes of it. Also, my IC for the first time pushed some buttons to bring out certain things about me that I didn't know about myself emotionally.
So, keep with IC for sure because you can really excavate yourself and improve. But, this site has been a true blessing. And folks here are dope.
So here's a question how do I know if she is in the fog or not
Married 9: Together 11 M:37 W:35 S:2 D:7 Bomb dropped 6/3/2017 W moved out 7/1/2017 Separation Filed: 8/1/2017 Modified to Divorce: 8/21/2017 Divorced: 10/5/2017
At this point, it really doesn't matter. Just operate with knowing that she's in a different world and nothing you can say or do will change that right now. That's why DBing is important because it allows the LBS to take the focus off the spouse.
Stop looking for signs that might tell you she's back to her 'old' self. That woman is gone.
I went last week and we discussed what my goals where, what is my purpose in life and things like that. I told my IC that maybe something was wrong with me because I am a happy and content person.
That's fing awesome dude. That's why I know you are going to be fine no matter what your outcome.
Thanks L.....I know you told me earlier to be patient and you think I have a good shot at reconciling. My patients is being tested because of how I feel. I am starting to feel it is more about my kids than myself at this point.
That's ok, because when it is all said and done no matter the outcome you are gonna to feel great about the fact that you fought your fing a$$ off to keep your family together.
