Divorcebusting.com Forums Open Forums For Newcomers Lost on how to save my marriage! 2

Yesterday I got home after spending as much time away from the house as possible.

I think I made a small error yesterday, I went home around lunch time and there was this Zales box on our dresser the day before, so when I went home for lunch I didn't see it on the dresser and I asked her where did that Zales box come from. She told me it was mines, and one of my sons took it out my drawer. I should of left that topic alone.

Ok, so after I got home around 5:30p.m, I stayed away from her as much as possible. I talked to the boys until it was time for me to get ready and GAL. I went to a New Comers Meeting at the Church I just joined. I bought some news shoes and shirts. I got dressed up, put on some smell good and after I got ready I went downstairs for about 10 to 15 mins where my wife and kids were. The were eating dinner. I didn't tell her where I was going or when I would be back.

We didn't say much to each other at all. She made me dinner and I took it for lunch today. Also, our internet went out so I had to call AT&T to get if fixed, I asked for a technician to come out, my wife told me that, that was not necessary. I wanted to send her a text, to say thank you for the food, and also tell her she was right about not needing a technician.

What do you all think about me sending a text in reference to those two things?

I would word it like:

"Thanks for the food, I really appreciate it, and your were right about the technician not needing to come. I have cancelled the tech from coming out."



http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2758010#Post2758010

Come on man. No contact means no contact unless it involves the boys.

What do you think that text is going to accomplish?

LH19,

That's why I ask questions here. When I'm a little unsure, I can be brought back to reality. I guess my actions of taking the food this morning and calling off the tech will work. I told her yesterday I would call off the Tech. So I don't have to say it again.

What do you mean by the sentence above?

Joe.....as a point of reference. My birthday was about a month after my w moved out. She helped our D's make cards for me and also bought me a cookie cake so the girls and I would have something to celebrate with (nothing is worse than making your own cake ). Later on that I night I sent her a text thanking her for helping and that I appreciated it.

I never got a response back.

Joseph9,

Dam, that open the eyes. I guess that text is not or her, it would be for me, to see her reaction. I won't send the text. I will keep pushing forward with my actions.

I have another question, how many days a week do you all GAL. I want to be home when my kids go to bed. Is there an overkill on GALing?

Don't do it....if she doesn't respond you will feel like crap and if she does respond you probably be left wanting more. This is part of the detachment process. IMO when you start feeling good and confident about yourself, to the point to where you really have no expectations you could alter your approach some but until then do nothing. I am 3 months in and still do not initiate any contact with my W unless it is about kids or finances and even then I only initiate about .5% of the time.



I have young kids so on the weeks I have them, during the school year maybe 1 time during the week and then on the weekends we do something every Sat and Sun.

I do not have my kids this week so I have done something every night so far after work. My GAL has been the gym, lifting weights, swimming, things like that. I go to church every Sunday and this past Saturday watched college football with some friends.

Everyone is different and needs something different. For me the gym and working out is the best way I can relieve my stress and gain my confidence back. I also invested a lot of money into new clothes and personal hygene items like body lotions, eye cream, things like that, my hair. If you can accomplish that with under water basket weaving then go for it!!

To me the quicker you can get your self-confidence back the better off you will be and it will show to your W or any other lady you meet.

GAL as much as you want. It's your life. Your choices. Make your kids part of it if you like. Find fun activities for you and them and plan them. You don't need to run any of it past your wife, you plan your comings and goings with your team and she wants off the team, hence she's out of the loop.

TxHubby,

Ok, got it.

So I called AT&T to cancel the Tech coming up. I listed my wife as the person who would be home during the visit.

So I had to send her a text. Because if they come out it's a $99 charge.

The text stated. "I cancelled the Tech coming out, if they called them them that it was cancelled.".

The text was to the point and direct. What do you all think?

That's fine......I don't think she will D you over that .