Divorcebusting.com Forums Open Forums For Newcomers WAS wanting to move across the world - help

sounds like an excellent 180 opportunity to me.......when she did not call you back you just should have let it go, not texted her back and not wished her a wonderful day. she left you and did not return your call why does she get a wonderful day? Maybe she was testing to you to see how you would respond to her not calling you back. To see if old whywhy would return.

Thanks Joseph9 - I agree - it's an excellent 180.

I thought about not texting, but I wanted to show her that it wasn't bothering me as I think she was testing me (either that or she just doesn't care). If I hadn't responded she might have thought that I had gone away angry. This way she knew I was calm and wishing her well!

She called this morning after her IC and I was running late with the kids (in fact had waited with them for her to finish so she could say hello to them). So, it was short with the kids and then I said goodbye. But, I did notice her eyes were red from crying - made me sad.

OK, so she texted me a little while ago.

She told me that she was missing the kids awfully and she wanted to know if I could move her flight to come back earlier.

Is this a good thing? What are the thoughts?

On the one hand, has she had enough time on her own to work through some of the things (I have no idea and no control over that of course).

On the other hand, if she is back here and in the house, can my DB'ing and LRT'ing be more visible (though I won't be able to slip)?

Thoughts???

Can you move the flight? Would it cost you money? If an earlier flight was not available would she know? Did she give you a specific date or time? Not sure I am the expert on this but some might say to make her sweat it out and stick to the original flight plan. She made the bed let her sleep in it. It doesn't sound like she mentioned missing you at all...........

She's mentioned it the last two calls, and usually when a woman tells a man she's cried the past two days.......she wants him to ask why, so that she can talk about her feelings.



Ha......she didn't particularly like your answer. I think she was trying to pull you into a R talk by saying, "It's just part of the process". I think it's funny when she can't manipulate the conversation to go like she wants. What you said was perfect!

Remember, in her current mindset..........she thinks the universe revolves around her.

.

Thanks Joseph9,

Oddly enough as the flight was on points and I'm a very frequent flyer (or at least I was before all of this happened) - it won't cost any money.

She did give me a specific day (Monday) as she has another IC session on Sunday.

In fact I have the ticket for her in place.

And, no, she never mentioned missing me at all. But, to be honest, I don't think she's capable of saying that at the moment.

I may be a glutton, but I really do want to see her - and I also miss my baby daughter who also comes back!!

Hi Sandi2,

Thanks for that.

Yes, I think you're absolutely right, she thinks the world revolves around her.

Glad to hear I managed to actually say the right thing.

Am going to keep pushing forward.

OK, so I did move her flights earlier.

The kids were ecstatic and, to be fair, she did thank me a number of times.
She did also ask if I was ok with it.

She also sent a couple of nice texts saying that the kids were saying how much I was doing with them and around the house and good for me.

She also mentioned that she didn't mind taking the spare room when she got back. This kind of stung, I don't know why as I knew it wouldn't be any different this early in, but it still did.

So, I better study up over the weekend as she'll be back Monday night and then I won't be able to get ready for the conversations as she'll be here.

It's been a couple of days.

The roller coaster is still going on.

So, yesterday and the day before, she was complimenting on how good I'm looking and how much weight I lost.

She also needed me to speak to a very close of hers about something she wanted to return to the US. I did and her friend initiated a conversation about the R, which I cut very short.

A few minutes later my wife calls me and says "why did you say so and so to my friend". I told her I hadn't, she accepted that and told me that she was coming back with an open mind and wasn't angry anymore. It was a very warm conversation.

Later, she texted me again to see if I could pull her flight in even earlier!
I managed to get it to Sunday now. She thanked me via text alot.

Anyway, last night I went out, had a great time with friends. She knew this (I didn't tell her any details though) as I told her because she wouldn't be able to speak to the kids in the evening.

This morning on the video call, she was giving me really ugly looks and making sniping comments that were trying to be hurtful.
I also heard her mother telling one of my kids that she would be over here (staying in our house) next month. Something I had asked my wife not to happen.

Anyway, after she spoke to the kids and started sniping at me, I cut the conversation short as I could see it was going nowhere good.

How long does the up and down go on for????

I feel sorry for you, man. She's a headache.

Listen, check out Terrence Popp on youtube and it should lift your spirits.