Divorcebusting.com Forums Open Forums For Newcomers Here again part 6

Well it's over. I'm not going to get into elaborate details but I asked H to watch the kids Saturday for 2 hours so I could set up a study group for my big exam Monday. He said he couldn't commit that he might have to work. I said well that's ok even if I have to wait til later I could go at 5-6 pm. He said he might have to work at night. That's never true. He could work whenever as long as it's done by Monday

Well I found out he bought 4 tickets to a country concert in Miami on Saturday night. The same concert and venue we have spent our last 3 anniversaries together st. He said he was maybe going to go. Aka why he couldn't commit to watching them

Anyway I said if he chose to go and leave me with the kids that he was choosing to end this M. He had previously told me he wasn't going to the concert when he told me he his friends at work got tickets.

His response was that's fine I'm done anyway. I made plans to move out Wednesday after I drop my mom off

He said I ruined her trip here that I make him miserable

He said he knows I will always think of him as a cheater and I'll never trust him. I just said I was sorry I made him feel that way. I said I don't think that I know you're a good man. He didn't say anything. Just mostly that we needed to move in to our next step separated. He sounded very coached and was the coldest I saw him. He said he didn't make up his mind until tonight. That he wasn't sure until I said that about the concert.

I know that's BS.

I did ask him not to leave our family... he just said I don't know. Every answer was I'm done it's over or I don't know.

I'm going completely dark. Words can't even describe how I feel or what I'm going through. My eyes are going to look ridiculous in the office tomorrow.

He left tonight to go with his mom and said he will be there til Wednesday then will. Be moving into his friends house. He said we will figure out a schedule for the kids.

I will probably continue to post just for emotional purposes but I don't expect anyone to waste their time giving me advice.

I'm sorry. Focus on you and your kids right now. Hugs to you.

TO:

I am quite certain that no one feels that they wasted time. Everyone here hates to see you suffer. Sometimes we give something the best that we can and that is all we have to give. Nobody will understand the trauma of having this happen a third time while you were pregnant, caring for young children and working/going to school. I know I don't.

I'm amazed that you have carried on with your school and work and taken care of your boys. That is commendable. From everything you've said about this guy, I can't help but believe that you deserve far better than this. I know that it doesn't help to hear that now, but with some distance you will know it for yourself.

I'm sure there is OW. Found some back and forth banter on fb pictures of the girl he brought flowers to on FB that just started the last couple days. Before he never posted to her but the comments back and forth remind me of how he was last BD

You don't leave 3 boys one being a month old just because... I know him well enough. I knew something changed in him a couple weeks ago.

So sorry!

Hey T0,
I'm so very sorry. You have given it 100% and more. Sometimes, the outcome really is just not something we can control, even with the very best DBing we can do, it's just not enough.
I believe you are a strong, independent, resourceful, wise, beautiful young mother of three precious boys, someone with an incredible drive and endless energy, a great career ahead of you, a wonderful loving Dad who supports and loves you...... and you are going to be better than OK.

I know it hurts. Blinding, searing, white-hot hurt. Just try to breathe your way through it, keep putting one foot in front of the other, until the pain eases up.

I'm struggling myself today, so have all kinds of little sayings and inspirational things running like a ticker tape through my head. Two that stand out, to help both you and me, are these-

"The barns burnt down, so now I can see the moon."

"Where you are right now, is like driving a car at night with just the headlights to show you the way. You can't see but just a few feet ahead of you, but even so, with just that much, you can make it all the way home."

Thanks Leah,

Just struggling. Feeling so sick to my stomach

Checked the phone bill. He's been working with a realtor and a mortgage lender. Guess he was just leading me on and lying to his family.

I have no intention of speaking a word to him.

Hey TO,

No advice but just some moral support. Your H does not sound like a healthy guy. He comes across as very impulsive in regards to his spending and decision making.

I think time apart will really help you clear your head.

He's very impulsive. Just like last time.

I can't forgive him if he does this again... his mom even saw this weekend how he is 2 different people.

My dad said he just throws everything out and starts over. He thinks I'm the reason for his unhappiness.

I'm going to get out of his way and just stay silent. If he comes here to get stuff I won't say a word or look at him.

Who leaves a family with a newborn. I guess that's enough said. I asked him last night please to not leave our family.

Why are you asking him to stay?

Do you think he will change?

Do you think you don't deserve better?