Thanks for checking Sandi. Checked amazon and they are scheduled to be delivered today. I ordered 5/17. In the mean time I have been doing the last resort technique. She still tries to contact me to see how my day is going and I just give her a pleasant but short answer. I ask no questions. I will see her this Saturday which I'm a bit nervous but GAL and a few others things have helped me thus far. As I mentioned before, my main problems so far are images in my head and looking at their pics on social media.
M 1.5 years, her affair was before 1 year T 7 Years
Thanks for checking Sandi. Checked amazon and they are scheduled to be delivered today. I ordered 5/17. In the mean time I have been doing the last resort technique. She still tries to contact me to see how my day is going and I just give her a pleasant but short answer. I ask no questions. I will see her this Saturday which I'm a bit nervous but GAL and a few others things have helped me thus far. As I mentioned before, my main problems so far are images in my head and looking at their pics on social media.
M 1.5 years, her affair was before 1 year T 7 Years
As I mentioned before, my main problems so far are images in my head and looking at their pics on social media.
These are things you can control:
1) I used a rubber band on my wrist anytime my brain started to play those movies. Or imagine a giant STOP sign every time they come up. Itll teach your brain to stop playing them.
2) Time to get out the unfollow or unfriend button. You are in control of you. Exert it. Stop clicking the links looking for the pics!
I agree, you have to stop looking at those sources that feed the images in your head. You are punishing yourself and you have enough to deal with, as it is.
Other than wanting your W to return, have you set any goals for yourself? I don't want to sound as if I am not taking your M problem seriously. I only want to help. The number one successful thing I've seen LBS's recommend is GAL. And, get a life that involves other people, not just a one person activity. Go where the people are, and make new friends. This may be the only chance you have to do whatever you want, without having to consider someone at home who is not interested in the same things.
Be your own best friend. Protect yourself. Don't watch her and the affair partner. You know she's with him, and that's all you need to know. Looking at FB or any other social network, seeing her messages, pictures, etc., only hurt you.
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
Well one major problem is that I moved to her town so I'm in her familiar place. I have about 5 solid friends there and a few others I hang out with. So she left me in an unfamiliar place with two large dogs to take care of. I'm from a town about 45 minutes away and that's where my family and bulk of friends live. So moving will be a thought.
My plan is not very specific, but I have signed up for things I always wanted to do, back in gym, seeing my friends, etc. My wife was very controlling so that threw me out of loop with many friends. Another big problem is that I'm a CPA and she did this in early March, I'm still behind with some clients. So priorities will have to take a little precedence over GAL at the moment even though I am stepping out my comfort zone.
Got a call from a cruise line today asking for my wife. I logged in the website and sure enough they going on a 7 day cruise in a few months but she keeps complaining about money. She never asks me for anything though.
Thoughts on the following....Affair partner does videography and bartending. He does some video work for a local church. Is it out of line to email that church about it? Also, I think I know the answer, but is it out of line for logging into her cruise line account? I've rarely been the jealous type but I don't know the full story on a lot of things.
M 1.5 years, her affair was before 1 year T 7 Years
Posted about my terrible story awhile back. Went through a long sad/depressed stage. Now I'm in a angry stage. Wife's partner has a small videography business and lists his clients on his website, one being a church. I still have a small amount hope left for recon. I been GAL for a little bit now and it really feels great. Still in back of my mind, I feel like this guy cant get get my wife and go through his life like he did the right thing. Is it ok to email his clients and let them know about who he is or is it best to take the high road? I'm sure doing this now will drive he and wife closer but any thoughts?
M 1.5 years, her affair was before 1 year T 7 Years
Let the church know. OM won't seem so desirable with a lack of funds. Plus there has to be some consequence for his actions.
I completely disagree. It isnt your business and it will only drive the two of them together.
Let W and OM live their lives while you focus on yours. A day will come when they get what is coming, but you interfering wont get you any closer to your goals.
