I need to add a couple of positives to my list for this week Monday, 4/26, H invited me to go for a walk, and initiated ML, and WANTED to, (even though he was kind of moody) Tuesday, 4/27, -- no less than 5 people mentioned to me how great I looked after staff meeting, nice ego boost if nothing else (of course H was not one of them, but I'm guessing he must have noticed); H worked until 8 pm...called just about 8 to tell me he was going to be a little late getting home because he "didnt want me wondering"...said he was going "card shopping" (for our ann. & mothers day)....this was a first...I told him thanks for calling, that it was considerate and I appreciated, and that supper and a big hug were waiting for him, I joked "I'm sure that last one made your day", and he said, "well, it does help after a long day". He got home about 40 minutes later than usual, and obviously had cards in a sack, so I guess at least I will be getting some cards! It occured to me that it's big that he called....it does relieve my anxiousness. I took it as a sign that he really is making an effort to work on our R. He didn't have to call, it was entirely voluntary, and he could have taken advantage of the situation to really put me to the test and drive me up the wall. Of course the crazymaker had to mention that he's called from OW's house before, but he was carrying the cards when he came in....
Something major I almost forgot to post! --Old Deb had to get her claws in this morning with the "sitting with you" question this morning (darn, wish I hadn't done that)....but New Deb scored a major victory....H was already in the garage when I walked out to help w/chores. H said "you left the light on out here all night" in a critical tone. Old Deb would respond in kind and get huffy and we would end up at the least feeling resentful toward each other. BUT, this morning New Deb stepped up to the plate, and maybe hit a homer. I said "I did?" (i was genuinely surprised) then said "I'm sorry", then I said "so for my punishment do I get a whipping with a wet noodle, or do I have to perform all kinds of lewd sexual acts?" H looked at me in surprise and actually started to chuckle and said "I guess it will be the wet noodle whipping", then I told him "I was afraid you'd pick the one that really is punishment because you knew I'd like the other, didn't you"? and he actually chuckled again and said "yep". Silly, but I sure think it diffused what might have been an irritating situation....and absolutely no good could have come over us getting irritated at each other over something so small. I'm sure I will probably leave the light on again sometime, and I'm sure it will always irritate H's obsessive streak. but it was interesting to see how surprised and off guard he was from my response, and how it diffused the situation for both of us. H was really surprised, that was actually kind of fun to see.
I hope New Deb gets strong enough to step to the front automatically real soon!
Or you could just ask if that means you are going to get a spanking. That is especially interesting if you've ever seen the movie Secretary with James Spader.
I havent seen that movie, but will have to look for it....sounds interesting
OW just drove by........GRRRRRRRRRRRRRR......I could lash her with more than a wet noodle. Hows that for detachment?
Someone just posted on my other thread about their W making a similar comment about manipulation, and he figured out that she was repeating what OM had said....I kinda wonder if that's where some of that comes from....which would have to mean OW's not pleased w/sitch, which is GREAT!!!!!!! which in turn would mean that I must be doing things right!!!!!!!!! I still gotta get through annual meeting though. Of course, If H and I don't sit together, it will raise suspicions, as we have been to everyone of these together for the last (choke) eighteen years. It would be like broadcasting that "something's up". hmmmmmmmmmm I will be so glad when it's over. Still, I think him calling that he'd be a little late last night was a very good thing......
As the witching hour draws near, (6 pm, starting time for the annual meeting). I find myself stuggling to stay calm and centered. If there was any way I could get out of being at this meeting, I would run for the hills. I don't know what H is going to do, I don't know what OW is going to do, H was not real reassuring to my bad DBing question this morning, I just feel real insecure about having to be in same room with them for 2 hours. I've set by H at these things for almost 20 years, so it's scaring the heck out of me. I'm a grown and middle aged woman and I'm scared to death! I've exchanged a couple of emails w/h today, they are pretty terse on his part (mine are short in response)....maybe he feels as anxious as I do....i don't know. I don't know. Oh god, it just occurred to me, I think OW may have sat across the table from us last year, I'm pretty sure she did as I think back....boy was I dense then! O well Help you guys (and gals, anyone!!!!) what do I do? How am I going to do this? Saturday seems like a piece of cake compared to this, and I still havent figured out how to deal with it.
Somebody come by and breathe some guts or courage or panache or something into me.........I guess if nothing else I'll start repeating "I can do it" over and over and visualize myself being calm, collected and a "class act". I did make it through staff meeting with flying colors yesterday, no problem, when the month before I was wanting to run out the door or hide in the bathroom.
If I was H I would be feeling like a lower-than-a-snakes-belly slime ball about right now; not sure how I'd feel if I was OW, I guess it would depend on how things were going. Actually, I would feel like I was a slimy slut if I did what she's done, but I wouldnt do it so have a hard time recognizing it.
Quote: I havent seen that movie, but will have to look for it....sounds interesting
It is a very...ummm...INTERESTING movie! About domination! I joke with ex-b ... calling him "Mr." and his last name occasionally.
I loved the film.
Too bad you didnt' have time to go out and moon the OW while she was driving by! Does she drive by often and at a certain time? You could put out a dozen red roses by the door like if someone had left them. (hows that for manipulative?)
You CAN do it! Do you have something sexy you will be wearing that shows your cleavage? Maybe with something red underneath - and when you bend down, you can show it a bit. Make your H want to look at YOU, not OW!
Here is your mantra for this evening: OW is the slut, I am the wife.
Hopefully that didn't offend you. Just trying to get something that would be slightly amusing as well. See, I'd want to beat the crap out of her, but I'm sure that would be better not done here!
Don't ask, assume. My H told me to always assume that I was invited. I didn't get it until now, but H was asking me to be confident and sexy rather than weak and pursuing.
Just sit with him. Assume he wants you there next to him and act sexy and confident. Good luck!
I'm not offended by sexual references at all! I love the idea of roses by the door. OW drives by quite a bit because the window of my office faces the main street leading to the building her office is in. Actually I would love to beat the crap out of her, but have so far resisted the impulse. Gee, I wonder why she didnt open her door that night in January when I pounded on it for 20 minutes? beats me....I wonder what H thought would happen if one of them did? hmmmmmmmmm......I guess I've detached a little since then. I don't chase her through town anymore.
I wore a dress with a kind of low scoop neck today, though of wearing something lower cut but didn't. now I'm thinking I should have put push-up pads in my bra ( H is big on boobs, to put it bluntly)..... you know, honest to god I don't know what to think about appearance stuff. I know I gained a lot of weight, but OW looks like ????? not much. Even S11 talks about her having "plenty of extra cargo in her caboose" and about her dark roots in her dyed hair. She looks like a younger version of Camilla Parker Bowles in my opinion. So, I don't know what he sees in her. yesterday at staff meeting I had on a suit (that I got Sunday) that showed off the weight I'd lost, and a lowish cut top....got lots of complements. OW had on a zip front hooded sweatshirt from what I saw....S was making a big deal about me "outdressing her"...he actually asked me what she had on yesterday....so I guess S thinks it's important....I've been trying to dress about 3 notches sexier and 2 notches better since I started DBing (read that here somewhere on the bb) but I dont know if H even notices.........Oh, I suppose he must. Maybe that's what he sees as manipulative.
guess I could stuff kleenex in my bra......nah, better not, it'd be my luck they'd pop out or up or something.....
sexy and confident, sexy and confident, sexy and confident, sexy, confident and classy, sexy confident and classy. If I repeat that 1000 times between now and then, do you suppose it will soak into my soul?
I've been analyzing what bothers me so much about tonight, besides seeing her and just realizing that she sat across the table from me last year..... so, ok, I figured it out....H will get back here to the main office in about 40 minutes, OW's office is in same building, mine is in another building, and the dinner is in yet another building. They will have time to "hang out" together, and she may latch on to him.....I am not going over the the building their offices are in and "lurk" around.....I may go over to the building the dinner is in early and see what happens.
The wet noodle comment was perfect. 