I get what you're saying. We do the same; alternate weeks. However, I generally have my sons at little more than 50% of the time because they prefer being at my house. I communicate with my XW via Our Family Wizard.
It's been six months since the divorce, so I might try a little more interaction, but it'll be baby steps.
Doodler, eventually I will also, off course, but not while that geezer is in the picture...
When he's gone I think I want to be friends with her, even if my M is never restored. She is a lovely person who mean no harm to anyone and someone you'd like to just get "something" from.
M:46 WXW:40 T:20 M:13 D3,D8,D10 BD:11/12/16 D:12/14/16 OM confirmed 01/20/17
So, went to the doctor with D10 and we agreed to have her see a psychiatrist to figure out what is causing her issues. Maybe it’s just the divorce and the two homes that’s the conflict in her mind, but she is terrified of going to the doctor regarding her issue, so if she in fact was making up stories of hearing voices, they probably would have stopped by now. Alternatively, she would start to lie and say they were not there anymore. Therefore, it is probably real. We will see what happens. Hopefully its just something temporary, but if it isnt, I'm sort of relieved that it triggered when she is so young and have loving concerned parents around (not that our loving concern would ever go away, but i could be more difficult to see her problems if she was off to college or something like that).
XW have gone from not considering it anything serious, to being angry with me because i want to have D10 examined, to being upset that D10 would risk being diagnosed with something serious that wasn’t really very serious, to now agreeing to let her see a psychiatrist. Is that fog lifting? Or normal behavior? In fact, I haven’t seen any major foggy behavior from XW, at least not compared to other stories I read.
Are there anyone out there that had a non-foggy WS leave and eventually return? I have mentioned it before, but I’m slightly worried that XW isn’t a WW, but a WAW. That concerns me (I think a WW would be easier to “win back” than a WAW, I don’t know)…
Also, did any of your waywards that eventually returned, live in a normal relationship with the other person. (you read all these crazy stories of weird relationships...)
M:46 WXW:40 T:20 M:13 D3,D8,D10 BD:11/12/16 D:12/14/16 OM confirmed 01/20/17
2) You asked me on another thread, why I think all affairs are wrong BUT not alike.
Here is my response-
For now, off the top of my head, I'll mention a few A's I know of, which i do not view in the same context. YES, imo Context matters. If context does not matter, then all affairs are to end a marriage, or all affairs are to continue.
Anyhow, a few Dbers and I have privately discussed this IRL but this is just my opinion out here and We could be wrong.
We hesitate to say much on this topic here, b/c this is such a painful topic for the betrayed spouse who is reeling. They think I am defending affairs but I am not.
I do know the betrayal of being an LBSer, & how it feels when you didn't know there were such issues or unexpressed emotions from them.
I also knew when I had enough and (sort of) became a WAS. In my m, my h was practically daring me to file and would never have done it on his own. But, who knows?
Anyway, here are a few thoughts on Why I think Affairs are wrong but not all alike. (And why some m's recover better than others.
Affairs that are one night stands, which do not require long term deceit, are one form.
Affairs in which the spouse who cheats has had long term important needs unmet AND communicated to a spouse who can't or won't meet those needs, is more vulnerable to an affair than someone who is satisfied in their m.
Long term affairs (>a year?) which occur in a marriage in which the cheating spouse acts as if all is well in the m, are another form of cheating. Imo it's harder to recover from these b/c of the gas lighting and the long term deceit required.
Affairs that are not the first affair, are another form. I assume they're harder to deal with.
Affairs of temptation - in which the cheater is far from home, works near someone who is, indeed, tempting in some form, and the cheating spouse gives in, are another form.
Affairs that are out of anger (revenge?) or grief, or some emotional "defect" in the cheater, are another form. I assume that addressing the underlying issue in them AND OR in the m, would be needed.
I know the pain of betrayal. I also know the reality of temptation. I know the pain of that too, (though I did not have an A, I was once sorely tempted for reasons that seemed justifiable to me then).
Because I understand some affairs more than others, I can say that some m's are more likely to be able to get past them.
But for ME, the biggest betrayal in our 35 year m, was not an affair. It was when my (doctor) h left me when I was really sick & "needy" for the first time in our m. My illness came out of nowhere, & he left me alone to go on his "adventure".
He did not have my back. It's something neither I nor our children can "un-know" about him.
I cannot imagine what it would be like if I ever were to become an invalid with this guy as my spouse...maybe he did me a favor.
But that's just me.
M: 57 H: 60 M: 35 yrs S30,D28,D19 H off to Alaska 2006 Recon 7/07- 8/08 *2016* X = "ALASKA 2.0" GROUND HOG DAY I File D 10/16 OW DIV 2/26/2018 X marries OW 5/2016
So, went to the doctor with D10 and we agreed to have her see a psychiatrist to figure out what is causing her issues. Maybe it’s just the divorce and the two homes that’s the conflict in her mind, I can see why you'd want to believe this^^^ and why your w would not.
However, given the givens, I'd prepare for a longer treatment plan and something that might have been dormant before, and unveiled by the crisis of the marriage. Not caused by it, per se. I have not heard of anyone hearing voices who did not have drugs in their system (obviously not your d) or a psychiatric disorder. My MIL had those symptoms and was periodically treated and hospitalized for it. It's treatable. I'm just saying not to assume it's all about the divorce. Hearing voices is not like having trouble sleeping.
Not to alarm you, just to say check it out fully and sooner rather than later.
but she is terrified of going to the doctor regarding her issue, so if she in fact was making up stories of hearing voices, they probably would have stopped by now. Alternatively, she would start to lie and say they were not there anymore. Therefore, it is probably real. We will see what happens. Hopefully its just something temporary, but if it isnt, I'm sort of relieved that it triggered when she is so young and have loving concerned parents around (not that our loving concern would ever go away, but i could be more difficult to see her problems if she was off to college or something like that). yes^^^^
XW have gone from not considering it anything serious, to being angry with me because i want to have D10 examined, to being upset that D10 would risk being diagnosed with something serious that wasn’t really very serious, to now agreeing to let her see a psychiatrist. Is that fog lifting? Or normal behavior? In fact, I haven’t seen any major foggy behavior from XW, at least not compared to other stories I read.
who knows? Lots of these questions are not answerable. But she's present for d10 now, right?
Are there anyone out there that had a non-foggy WS leave and eventually return? I have mentioned it before, but I’m slightly worried that XW isn’t a WW, but a WAW. That concerns me (I think a WW would be easier to “win back” than a WAW, I don’t know)… I spent a whole lot of time wondering about MLC versus WAH (time I'll never get back) and realize now that since your course of action is the same, it's pointless to wonder.
I think Your real question is how much hope there is...
Labels aside, from what I can tell, your w is going to need the divorce and time "off" to reflect and face the damage, and feel both the ups and downs of her choices, to figure things out. Like a puzzle you cannot do for her.
My suggestion is to Release her to her "mission" and go on yours. I think part of her inner narrative is that she can come back to you "later" and pick up the pieces , along with "the kids are resilient."
I know a MLC H (or WAH or whatever) who said he left and he "knew" he was doing wrong but felt that he HAD to b/c he deserved to be happy and he wasn't happy where he was i life, and the m was the easiest thing to change in his mind...so he divorced his w
but in the back of his mind he felt that he could return to her and the kids in -5- or so years...if he wanted to...
it was only when she became truly detached, that he feared his back up plan was not so great. He realized suddenly that SHE MIGHT NOT WANT HIM BACK and the kids might not see him the same way - and they were aging - , that he faced himself and more or less snapped out of it.
I think that was a solid year or two after the split. And they are in piecing and it's harder than you think it might be, when all you want to do, at the moment is get your w and your old life back. So it's harder for you to say "wtf just happened? How am I going to trust my perceptions of w in the future?"
Also, I think you mentioned or asked about dating. I totally understand wanting to as I'm approaching that time as well. I always assumed I'd wait a year if something were to happen to H (like death, not divorce...)
H is overtly with his AP and naturally that bothers me for obvious reasons. But I also know that my moving on with my life is NOT proved by dating nor is my not dating, proof that I am stuck.
Frankly I'm more concerned with being fair to men I date, b/c I do feel dating might feel really reactive at the moment. Like too many comparisons, or triggers.
On the other hand, I miss the companionship and intimacy - and yet I'm also nervous about it too. NOT EASY to decide...maybe it'll just happen naturally.
I do think you need to act mysterious with your w as much as you can, however. Not at the expense of the kids (they need you to be their rock), but otherwise.
and "I HAVE to do this...".
Where does that leave you?
Also, did any of your waywards that eventually returned, live in a normal relationship with the other person. (you read all these crazy stories of weird relationships...)
not sure what you mean or are asking. Do the WAW's ever return to have decent m's again, with their former spouses OR the APs?
About 6-15% of marriages are between former spouses, btw. (Depending on who does the survey). They tend to fare better the 2nd time around and report more depth and contentment.
As for marriages that began as 2 extra marital affairs, they tend to have higher divorce rates...it's already 75% for 2nd marriages, and I think the ones that are based on affairs is just over 80%.
Is that what you are asking?
may I suggest that before you anticipate the problems associated with piecing, just be here now.
OR if it helps you, examine the reality of what it might mean and whether you KNOW anything. I do think you have a shot at your w wanting to return, but I don't know what it would look like.
In my case, since this is the 2nd time around, I am not here as an LBSer. (though I admit a small part of me holds onto irrational thoughts of what an awakening would look like in H). I know he once said if the m ended, he'd "just win me back later"...which annoyed me then and annoys me now.
I filed for D. That's not to say I don't think about h often. Every day in fact. And I miss what we once had. A lot.
But as he is now, and has been for over a year, no I can say I do not miss him. I'm not saying that to console myself. I'm being painfully honest with myself.
Sometimes I think he's like a loving uncle who now has dementia. I cannot deal with who he is now, nor can I take his behavior personally. But I can recall what he once was like...but will not be again. I can love who he was, but not who he is.
I wonder how or why he could behave so badly towards me, how he could lose the r's he had with our children and me, (although I have to assume he believes that in time all will be forgotten & he'll feel like a good dad. His dad is on his 4th m, and h could not stand him for years but now, wants to get his approval big time...
b/c I cannot wrap my brain around someone who would let those r's fall apart I must assume he expects a later rapprochement.
OR Maybe a new replacement family will allow him to run/hide from the wreckage, permanently...)
You may feel otherwise. You have reason to.
Though I'm moderately concerned that you still feel your m was very good, ONLY b/c it makes it harder to know what you can do differently. (I actually feel it's better to pinpoint something for you to work on so that you don't feel powerless.)
I mean, I think it's good news to hear about what you can work on...it's empowering in a sense. Anyhow...
This below may help you, or it may crush you, but at some point you will need the analysis.
I try to contemplate the seismic shift in h that would be needed for a recon to happen.
it would mean my h would need to
1) see how badly he has acted AND to feel true remorse, not justification
2) to face the full wreckage he has created in his life and ours, which might mean retracting his insistence on how right/happy he is...
3) want to make amends (as opposed to silent, unexpressed regret or self pity)
5) be willing to start making amends to repair the r's
AND then
6) stay determined to keep at it, despite facing resistance from our kids and not having a guarantee of forgiveness and reward - b/c I think he'd want to KNOW we'd all forgive him in time, or he might not bother working very long at it... When I see all these factors ^^^^ I realize how unlikely it is. Which hurts, but helps with acceptance, that this long long m is over... But what if?? What if all^^^ that all happened??
well then, I let myself wonder about myself. MY wants and needs...would I ever really see him the same way? How could I? There are things I now know, that are impossible to unknow.
Would I ever feel loving and trusting enough to marry him, again? How would our children view me or him, then?
--- Even though I'm one to say "never say never!"...
Anyhow it's at those^^ moments when I realize, oh, my, it's over for good. It cannot be repaired or regained. It's shattered into too many pieces...
This^ is heartbreak.
I must change my trajectory in life - or remain mired in my pain forever. I have choices to make.
This is not what I planned or wanted. But it's also not death. And I have children who need to see me happy and healthy and not as a victim.
I need to be happy and healthy and I deserve to be happy and loved and valued.
This is the only chance I can show them what it means to be deeply & wrongly hurt, and to then rebuild a good, joyful life anyway... This is the only life I have and I'm in my 2nd half, as it is.
Time to make myself get out of my head and start making choices without h in mind.
M: 57 H: 60 M: 35 yrs S30,D28,D19 H off to Alaska 2006 Recon 7/07- 8/08 *2016* X = "ALASKA 2.0" GROUND HOG DAY I File D 10/16 OW DIV 2/26/2018 X marries OW 5/2016
25, thank you, not only for the input to my thread which is a relatively quiet thread due to me not posting much, but for your general care for all posters here. Even if you are going through the same hopeless stuff we all are, you still have time and energy to offer support and advice to others. And have done it for like forever.
Although I don’t post much, I still learn from replies in others’ threads.
Originally Posted By: 25yearsmlc
I can see why you'd want to believe this^^^ and why your w would not.
I have not heard of anyone hearing voices who did not have drugs in their system (obviously not your d) or a psychiatric disorder. My MIL had those symptoms and was periodically treated and hospitalized for it. It's treatable. I'm just saying not to assume it's all about the divorce. Hearing voices is not like having trouble sleeping.
Not to alarm you, just to say check it out fully and sooner rather than later.
Went to see a child psychologist two days ago and it went well. Nothing serious wrong with D10, but a diagnosis has to be made when going through that process. I don’t remember the exact term (also I’m not sure I’d be able to translate it into English anyway) but it was something in the line of “temporary situation-based disorder”. At the end of the meeting, the psychologist asked if we were ok with that, or if we wanted a follow-up meeting in a months’ time. I said I didn’t need a second session but XW (yes, now I’m about to enter the favorite hobby of lbs’ers, mind reading) hesitated when agreeing. I’m almost 100 % sure she was either about to say something like “I told you so” or “happy now, now YOU got D10 a diagnosis on her medical record”. Anyway, through the family counselor we are signing D10 up for some girls group where other girls of divorce hang out doing stuff together. Maybe it will do her good to tell her story to others, and hearing theirs.
Still no non-children based contact between me and XW at all. It’s kinda weird. They leave with a final salute of “hey lets be best friends forever”. She even told me back in December that we could have “family” dinners each fortnight when exchanging kids, and go clothes shopping for kids clothes together. She even told the family counselor just a month ago that she’d like to be my friend. But not one single time has she even asked me how I was doing, or told me I looked good (lost 70 something lbs over the last year, dress better, grown an awesome beard, sun tanning once or twice a month, I actually look the best I ever have since I was about 20), asked about my family or anything. Great friend material there.... Not that it bothers me, just a testament of what they have become..
First “personal” comment in 6 months actually came yesterday. D3 called (from mummy’s phone off course) to wish daddy a happy birthday. She was on speaker and at the end of the conversation, XW actually also said happy birthday. Little more mind reading here, but her voice is “unnatural” when speaking to me. Don’t know if she is afraid of my reaction to whatever she says or what the cause of it is… Nevermind. Mind reading gets me nowhere, I know.
Originally Posted By: 25yearsmlc
I spent a whole lot of time wondering about MLC versus WAH (time I'll never get back) and realize now that since your course of action is the same, it's pointless to wonder.
I think Your real question is how much hope there is...
Labels aside, from what I can tell, your w is going to need the divorce and time "off" to reflect and face the damage, and feel both the ups and downs of her choices, to figure things out. Like a puzzle you cannot do for her.
My suggestion is to Release her to her "mission" and go on yours. I think part of her inner narrative is that she can come back to you "later" and pick up the pieces , along with "the kids are resilient."
Yep, the amount of time I’ve spent googling and reading message boards looking for answers I know I’ll never find, will never come back LOL. My wondering if I’m dealing with a walk-away or a wayward, is more or less me trying to figure out how much self-blame I should have here.
I guess a walk-away has somehow been neglected by the spouse for “ages” where a wayward is dealing with other issues that might not relate as much to the spouse, as to him/herself. I feel as if I’m unfairly punishing XW if she is indeed a walk away. Maybe I’ve just been majorly blind to her needs. I’m fairly sure I have not, but then again, aren’t everybody here?
Not that I directly punish her, but she knows that I will not be friends with her (I’ll soften up on that when OM is out of the picture, if ever – for my own dignity I HAVE to punish her for instantly dating the guy after D, whom I suspected her to have an affair with the last 6 months of M).
I have told her not to ask me to babysit for her or any other favors regarding the kids. For example, she believes we should share their clothes (which is soo much easier, I know) but I have told her that I’d prefer they have my own wardrobe of clothes for them here, and she can keep her own set there. Also I’m sure she’d like me to send her pictures of the kids so she can see what they are up to when they are with me (she sent me a picture of D3 some time ago) but I’m not doing it. No way. If she wants a life without her kids every other week, let her have it. Just stuff like that, no serious punishment, but I could be a bit easier to co-parent with, I know.
Originally Posted By: 25yearsmlc
I do think you need to act mysterious with your w as much as you can, however. Not at the expense of the kids (they need you to be their rock), but otherwise.
Don’t worry about the kids, they couldn’t wish for a better daddy. Trust me on this one. If they somehow had to choose only to live with one of their parents full time, at least 2/3 would choose daddy.
I am following others advice on being slightly mysterious, don’t reply texts instantly, don’t answer the phone the first time she calls etc. Don’t share personal information whenever we meet regarding kids exchanges etc. Try to look “sharp”. Some of that mystery went down the drain some time ago, though. I met this woman in a bar (in a town 24 miles from here) and we made out (not sure I’m translating correct here, but you get my drift I’m sure). Met her again a couple of weeks later, same thing happened. She was sweet and nice to talk to and I told her my story (upon her request). She actually asked me if I was ready for a new relationship, which I told her I was not due to me not being over my XW. Realized later that night, that her best friend is a close co-worker of my XW… Annoying little world we live in…. So maybe XW now knows that I’m not over her…
Originally Posted By: 25yearsmlc
not sure what you mean or are asking. Do the WAW's ever return to have decent m's again, with their former spouses OR the APs?
About 6-15% of marriages are between former spouses, btw. (Depending on who does the survey). They tend to fare better the 2nd time around and report more depth and contentment.
As for marriages that began as 2 extra marital affairs, they tend to have higher divorce rates...it's already 75% for 2nd marriages, and I think the ones that are based on affairs is just over 80%.
Is that what you are asking?
Yeah I know the percentages. They mean nothing to me. Has no influence on my future what so ever. But as mentioned above, I have spent way too much time googling the last couple of months. Also there is an 18 year age gap between XW and OM, and marriages with ages gaps of 20 years have a 97 % higher risk of ending in divorce (I assume that percentage roughly can be transferred to relationship break-ups as well).
In addition, even if I’m almost 100 % sure XW and OM had an 6 month EA before D, I’m not sure she sees it as an affair. So I’m not sure the extra martial affair statistics apply here.
I'm not sure she will ever come back, and even if she did, it wouldnt be easy. Cause I'd have to ask her to get a new job due to her hours not being very family friendly, and she loves that job more than me, so....
On a more positive note, I ran my first 8 km race two days ago, for 21 years. In a good time also. Imagine my surprise though, when I saw OM on the 4K start list…. Luckily, I didn’t see him there. I do all I can to avoid going to the center of town where chances of meeting him or XW are quite big.. (town is populated by less than 10.000) and the one time I go there, off course…. My boss however, asked me to point him out and he would punch him in the stomach, yeah I have a great boss LOL
Anyway, enough for now.
M:46 WXW:40 T:20 M:13 D3,D8,D10 BD:11/12/16 D:12/14/16 OM confirmed 01/20/17
On a more positive note, I ran my first 8 km race two days ago, for 21 years. In a good time also. Imagine my surprise though, when I saw OM on the 4K start list…. Luckily, I didn’t see him there. I do all I can to avoid going to the center of town where chances of meeting him or XW are quite big.. (town is populated by less than 10.000) and the one time I go there, off course…. My boss however, asked me to point him out and he would punch him in the stomach, yeah I have a great boss LOL
Anyway, enough for now.
Btrow,
Awesome on the 8K and I'm just loving your boss!!!
Hope you have a great weekend.
Me 42, Wife 39; Married 16; Together 17; Kids: D13, S10 Wife asks for Divorce: 03/19/13 Reconcile: 07/07/13 Round 2 Starts: 02/19/17 Apartment Life: 04/21/17 PA Confirmed: 05/23/17
I am with my youngest now for Mother's Day so can't really reply.
But 2 things
IF IF IF
Your wife hears about the make out session with your "new gf", don't assume that she knows of or believes ' that you said you are not ready. But I know why you hate that part, truly I do. The only reason I want to date now - which is why I won't - is b/c I hated h's note that he hopes I've "MOVED ON" ---- seriously? If he'd been there I'd have slapped his face, (verbally)
IMO, it's the making out your w will focus on (actions) AND do not be fooled into thinking "Oh no, now she will think I moved on and...and..."
It's all good!
But 2)
dang, you live in too small a town.
M: 57 H: 60 M: 35 yrs S30,D28,D19 H off to Alaska 2006 Recon 7/07- 8/08 *2016* X = "ALASKA 2.0" GROUND HOG DAY I File D 10/16 OW DIV 2/26/2018 X marries OW 5/2016
Crazy wayward foggy no-thinking mindset apparently goes on and on and on...
So just checked my bank accounts via the app today. Stumbled across the kids accounts which all suddenly had a balance of 0.... (not that there were a lot of money there before, a total of $6-700 combined on the three accounts) I could see that XW had moved it to a different bank, yesterday. I quickly texted her that I thought it would have been polite to inform me upfront, of a decision to change to a different bank.
We don't use those accounts for anything, we normalt just deposit whatever cash gifts the kids get for their birthdays. Never withdrawn anything neither of us. I honestly don't care what happens with that money but I would like to have been consulted first. The longer I waited for a reply, the more angry I got. Finally she texted that she had swapped bank and that it was easier for her... But she was sorry and had no intentions of spending the money (that I actually do belive, allthough believe nothing...).
And she offered to return the money and split it 50/50 so that we both can have our own accounts for the kids. Later tonight I'll politely text her to return half and inform the bank that she no longer need access to those accounts.
So. Is she not thinking at all? Or was it her way of informing me that she now uses the same bank as OM (we have used another for 20+ years) or was she just plssed that I took D4 to toysrus and let her spend the $50 cash she received 2 months ago on her birthday, as opposed to deposit them. (I have a much bigger family than her so more gifts from daddys family, both cash and toys, maybe she was annoyed that she couldn't eventually use half of D4 's money for D4 toys at XW' s place). Nevermind. Back to me.
I realised a couple of days ago that I was nowhere near "proper" detachment yet, now 8 months in.. I had the kids for 3 weeks and gave them a blast of a summer holiday. Went abroad, spent 7 days at an amusement park, 4 days of camping and finished of with 2 days at another amusement park (here in Europe) before returning home to a week of relaxing holiday in our home. Anyway, overheard D10 tell D8 that they will go camping for 3 days with their mom. D8 asked "just the 4 of us?" D10 discretely whispered "and OM". Obviously for daddy not to hear. Felt like a punch in the stomach (OM never spends the night at XW when the kids are there, so they must be stepping up). I have no idea why she didn't want daddy to hear. I have never expressed any "emotions" regarding OM in front of the kids.
That's when I decided enough is enough. I have been terrible at GAL, but the time is now. Better late than never. Thought I could manage my emotions without any particular effort (I, among others, gave LC a hard time regarding GAL in his thread, but soo much easier to advise others than to do it yourself, but that is where I found my inspiration). So I decided to join the gym again (last visit 23 december..) and have gone two days in a row now.
Also decided to start going to the shooting range (is it called rimfire rifles in english?) Some .22 caliber rifle, 15 meter range (50 meters in the summer,outdoors) . Used to go in my early teens and enjoyed it back then (was quite talented ...). When I told the kids that I was joining the shooting club in my kids free week but obviously couldn't go when they are with me, their reaction was "us too us too us too please please". So it seems I'm taking D8 and D10 to go shooting with me .
So now I have: running, the gym, shooting and off course, my weekly bridge night. I'm slowly getting better right? Normally when I hand the kids over to XW I'm down for a couple of hours, but this time I went straight to the shooting range, followed by 75 minutes at the gym and a 30 minute run when I came home. First time in 7 months I didn't feel the slightest sad after handing over the kids. This GAL thing actually works....
PS: not sure I ever want that woman to come "home" but I so desperately want that R with OM to die.....
M:46 WXW:40 T:20 M:13 D3,D8,D10 BD:11/12/16 D:12/14/16 OM confirmed 01/20/17
No major news here, just need to get something off my chest.
Me and my "old" family used to go to this amusement park in another small european country once or twice a year. Sometimes for a full week or sometimes for a long weekend. Just a 6 hour drive from home. We have been doing this for 5 years I think. A nice little park, very suitable for small children.. They truly love it there.
The kids and their mom went there this weekend. And OM is with them (OM does not live with XW and I don't think he has ever slept in her house while the kids are there, just to clarify their "sitch" ). XBIL and XSIL and their kids are also with them.
I am just pi$$ed. (or sad, or dissapointed, can't tell the difference right now) It is like she is erasing or re-writing my kids memories/history of their old family. There must be litterally hundreds of other amusement parks they could go to.
Am I being unreasonable here? (I want to tell her she is a jerk for doing that to the kids but I am, off course, not gonna do it.). Would others just shrug their shoulders and think "oh so nice they are taking the kids somewhere familiar..."
I am really starting to get why 13 of AS' 15 friends didn't want to reconsile with their WAS when they had the opportunity..
In other news, XFIL is getting a divorce from his ukranian wife whom he has been with for almost 3 years. They were very much in love. Some don't seem to make it to the 36 months - he got what he deserved. He cheated on XMIL (not with the ukranian though), who is now happier than ever with her guy... Slightly sad for my kids though, they really liked XFIL's W.
M:46 WXW:40 T:20 M:13 D3,D8,D10 BD:11/12/16 D:12/14/16 OM confirmed 01/20/17
. 
- he got what he deserved. He cheated on XMIL (not with the ukranian though), who is now happier than ever with her guy... Slightly sad for my kids though, they really liked XFIL's W.