Divorcebusting.com Forums Open Forums For Newcomers How do I know if my Husband is having a MLC?

Anything you do will push. Nothing you can do to pull.

Like you said, its better when hes not around. Go with that thought.

Maybe comfort and routine is what he need. He might figure out its not that great.

Hi EastTN,

Yes, I have a therapist that I've been going to for about 2 months. She is wonderful and it is very helpful! I was doing fantastic until last night. I am GAL and meeting new people. I have an appt with my atty tomorrow....so I'm DOING all the right things. EXCEPT last night really threw me for a loop. It is a "in the face" "no ifs, ands or buts" about where my H stands regarding our marriage. I felt all the wind blow right out of my sail! And it hurts bad. Thank you so much for your input!

Btrow,

Thank you for the gentle reminder....you are right. There is nothing I can do at this point, but to go completely dark, for ME. I need to continue healing and last night it was if I felt stabbed in the back and heart at the same time. Just crushing blows.

Holding on to HOPE does not mean not to DETACH.

They are separate things.

You can hold on to HOPE and still DETACH, Let GO.
Maybe go back to a beginners mind and re think detachment.

Hello love1st,

Don't beat yourself up regarding past mistakes on how to handle things. Slip ups happen! The good news is that you are recognizing the slip ups and are learning from them.

Little compares to the devastation people feel when they discover their spouse has been unfaithful. Couples often struggle to get past intense emotional pain, mistrust, resentment and never ending arguments about the betrayal. Healing from infidelity is achievable for both of you with the right support and tools.

You are at a very fragile point in this relationship and it would be extremely helpful to know what your next move should be. Feel free to give me a call at 303-444-7004 to discuss how we can best help you determine what to do next.

Cristy

Resource Coordinator
The Divorce Busting Center
303-444-7004

Cristy,

Thank you for the offer. I may take you up on it. I am VERY fragile right now. My H is currently out of town even as I type with OW and I'm here with our son shattered to pieces. Not meaning to dramatic, and I feel like I'm just a sobbing mess. I know I'd be better off without him.

This is excruciating and the worst I've ever felt during this long of a stretch - been 4 months. And I feel like I'm treading water in the middle of an ocean with waves pummeling me one after another. It's like peeling the layers of an onion - each layer brings a new traumatic surprise. WHEN DOES IT END??

OK - Cadet,
I'm going to reread a beginner's mind section. I've been through break ups before and never really mourned or allowed myself to feel the pain. Since my dad died two weeks after my H moved out, I think this pain is a culmination of a lot of hurt from past relationships where men have left me for another woman; my daddy, my long-term (7 yrs) boyfriend and now my 2nd husband....all have strayed before leaving. I am feeling hopeless right now. I'm learning a lot about myself through help of therapy and really want an incredible, passionate, committed partnership with a great man...I'm exhausted.

Love1st - I am so sorry you are hurting, I can feel your pain. I'm in a lot of pain too, we can get through this together.

As hopeless as you feel, there is hope.

Thank you Thornton. Tonight while away with his OW, my H just texted me, "pls say goodnight to our son and tell him I love him". I SO badly want to reply that he can go "have sex" with himself. Seriously?!? While, he is off rendezvousing​ with ow H texts me that?!? I'm so disgusted!

Thornton, I hope you are having a more peaceful night. Is it torture having your W in your home? How are you coping with the pain?

Well I just overheard WAW tell my mom that she doesn't love me anymore and that this time is for real (meaning this is the final time she is leaving me). I don't think she could tell that I could hear her.