Divorcebusting.com Forums Open Forums For Newcomers I filed - Anxious to get it over

Thanks for the support, everyone.

V, you're absolutely right about the stuff. I just let it perplex me for a bit, especially that she gave me some of her own stuff, but no point in trying to sort out the "why" of it.

It got nasty last night. I had not purged everyone tied to her from my Facebook page and someone told her I was trash talking her on my page so she text me to tell me all about it. That is absolutely not true at all. I haven't said one thing about her other than that we split up and I didn't give any details and even wished her well. I definitely haven't said anything mean or spiteful. She of course didn't believe me so I just told her believe what she wishes. When she persisted in being hateful I ended up telling her to lose my number to which she then informed she did me a favor by coming clean about her affair and no longer wasting my life and that she was very upfront with me about all of this and that she really wished there wasn't so much bad blood between us. I did not respond to that.

While I agree she "did me a favor" I had to just about twist her arm to get her to confess to the affair so it wasn't like she was so very upfront like she wished to believe, but you can't reason with someone in that state so I just chose to no longer engage. Aside from that, I think that is a horrible thing to say to someone, that you did them a favor as if you're the hero for finally being honest.

I assume I will receive many more ugly texts in the future, especially once the custody suit hits her. I will probably just end up blocking her number. There is no reason for me to engage and I still often do when acting on my emotions.

Whatever she wants to believe is down to her.

The post speaks for itself, its likely that the friend is her!

Remember they will cause a fuss over almost anything to make the LBS the bad guy, justifies their behaviour.

I just respond with interesting point of view.

Posted a list of bland innocuous replies will link for you, sounds like you may need them!

V

She has me blocked so we can't see each other, and I have my page where only friends can see my posts, however, she very well could have used a family member's Facebook to see mine. They have now all been removed though so no more access and I'm thinking about just disabling my page for a while.

I look forward to the list, V, thank you!

I think she has her own second account, likely.

Responses that can be used anytime


V

You know, you may be dead on, V. Her grandmother added me right after our split and I accepted. Her grandmother then posted a comment on one of my posts that she loved me. That very well could have been her. I have removed that person too now.

Thank you so much for the responses. After I attempted to defend my honor of how I wasn't trash talking her I did end up telling her to believe whatever she would like because I knew she would anyway and I ceased arguing with her. I just need to remember not to argue to begin with and just let her rage on her own.

What if it were her grandmother?

It might have been her grandmother, but considering my STBXW stated someone from her family was saying that I was trash talking her (when I absolutely wasn't) then I am glad I've removed them all so that isn't an issue. Plus, I've now disabled my FB account all together so it won't be an issue going forward.

Hey fightin...sounds like a good idea to disable FB for awhile...you don't need that right now and when she gets the custody info who knows what she will do....yes it does no good to argue with them, they only hear/think what they want to anyhow..

What you're doing is going to help you heal a lot faster. Without even knowing you personally I have to say I'm proud of you. Stay strong and never doubt your worth, and definitely don't let anyone else define it.

TxHubby,

Thank you so much for the kind words and encouragement. It hasn't been easy, and I still have my moments of deep sadness and anger, but overall I'm feeling so much better each day.

I'm looking forward to defining myself for myself only.