I missed this. I saw the texting part, but not this.
There are moments in this life when you are so confident in the rightness of your actions, that not even for a second do you consider the option that you might be wrong.
There are moments in this life when you are so confident in the rightness of your actions, that not even for a second do you consider the option that you might be wrong.
FMF...military spouse here. How long have you been married?
Many military couples seem to marry very young and after a number of years together get bored and start wondering what they missed out on. This may not be the case with your W, but it's a common scenario. Either way, if you're willing to wait out her 'adventures in single life', you might find her wanting to return to the family after she's gotten it all out of her system. The big thing to remember is there are no quick and easy fixes. We all want these issues to just go away and have life back the way it used to be, but it never happens that way. Buckle up for the long haul and expect it to take time. She seems like a different person because she is. If she finds her way back to you, it will be in her own time when she has dealt with her own issues. The best you can hope for in the meanwhile is to not make things worse so the door to reconciliation might remain open. Don't push...don't pursue. Use the DB techniques you'll learn here to make yourself into a better man, husband and father. Most of all, post! post! post! There are are great people here to support and advise you.
I am not sure wether to give her space or what. I tried asking for marriage counseling and all and she refused . I been going to individual counseling and they told to me to just keep it about the children for now and say nothing else, like a "180". It's so hard because I'm lonely and I really miss my wife
Space is the only thing you can give her, honestly. The IC was right - its all about the kids, and you, now. A good friend told me this a long time ago: she is on her own road and, unfortunately, her road doesn't have room for you...just her. You can leave room for her on your own road - whether she joins you or not is totally up to her.
Remember the butterfly analogy? Think of your wife/marriage as a butterfly in your hand. What happens if you squeeze a real butterfly? It kills it, right? So, the only option is to open your hand and let it fly away. If she so chooses to alight in your hand again, then she will. If she doesn't, then there you go.
We've all been there, my friend. All of us. And we are here for you. Make this time about you and your kids. Work on being the best you that you can. What branch, sir? Navy here.
I am a Navy Corpsman, 17 years. I appreciate your analogy and advice. It's just super tough
Before I deployed in April 2016, my wife had caught me texting another female. The reason I was texting her was because I was lonely and my wife was very distant from me because she was in school and hanging out with her friends. It was almost like we were roommates. I admitted my faults and asked for forgiveness and it seemed that everything was OK before I left to weeks later on the nine month deployment.
So what was the resolution of this? How did you heal as a relationship?
We seemed to work past it, atleast I thought. We had sex numerous times prior to my deployment.
So you had sex a few times and that was it?
Was the affair ever addressed? Did you get to the root cause and repair the relationship from the damage?
I never had sex with anyone but my wife. I texted another female which broke my wife's trust.
FMF...military spouse here. How long have you been married?
Many military couples seem to marry very young and after a number of years together get bored and start wondering what they missed out on. This may not be the case with your W, but it's a common scenario. Either way, if you're willing to wait out her 'adventures in single life', you might find her wanting to return to the family after she's gotten it all out of her system. The big thing to remember is there are no quick and easy fixes. We all want these issues to just go away and have life back the way it used to be, but it never happens that way. Buckle up for the long haul and expect it to take time. She seems like a different person because she is. If she finds her way back to you, it will be in her own time when she has dealt with her own issues. The best you can hope for in the meanwhile is to not make things worse so the door to reconciliation might remain open. Don't push...don't pursue. Use the DB techniques you'll learn here to make yourself into a better man, husband and father. Most of all, post! post! post! There are are great people here to support and advise you.
She had nine months while I was deployed to have her fun. I've been back two months and it's like it doesn't mean anything. She didn't lay no ground rules or boundaries for the separation. If she ends up having sex with other men I don't think I could take her back because I would never trust her and I would never be able to look at her the same. If she texted somebody that's different but once you make physical contact with another man and you're still legally married to me It's hard to take somebody back from that
I am a Navy Corpsman, 17 years. I appreciate your analogy and advice. It's just super tough
It is very tough. And just plain sucktastic. You are in a good group, though. Right there with you, my friend.
Corpsman, eh? Any recent east coast duty stations? Pax, Portsmouth, Beaufort, Pensacola here. Maybe we crossed paths as the med community is fairly small.
There are moments in this life when you are so confident in the rightness of your actions, that not even for a second do you consider the option that you might be wrong.
