Yep, I think there's a tendency to jump into a new relationship to help manage the pain. I tried dating shortly after my divorce because I thought it'd be fun and help me continue to move on. It didn't turn out nearly as well as I'd hoped; I actually enjoyed working on my home projects more than I enjoyed dating
I'm going to step in here for a little. Doodler is correct. But sometimes a little strange is just what the doctor ordered.
I tell ya, if it weren't for my new gal friend I would be a mess. She has helped me through so many tough times. She shows me that I am lovable and worthy of love from another person. She has calmed my life tremendously. I chose wisely as it seems like a new guy on the market is like gold (girls come out of the woodwork). Not sure how I found such a good friend and lover. My STBXW should be thankful for her because my new GF has talked me off the ledge many times, she's taught me how to be kind even though I am resentful. I would say grab some strange if you can, but choose wisely when getting involved again. Don't let your past relationship get in the way. Your learning how to love again, with new people that aren't what your ex was. Throw that out the window now. I think we all (people in our situation) are different. I think I am strong enough to maintain a new relationship, it helps if the new partner is completely understanding of your sitch also. Personally I want nothing more than to be a husband again someday. I make a good one.
M 21 years XW 43yo, me 41 yo S13 BD March 2016 - she asked me to patient... End of June - I started the D process. D final 2/23/17 "He who forgets will be destined to remember" Eddie Vedder
I chose wisely as it seems like a new guy on the market is like gold (girls come out of the woodwork).
I'm going to have to agree on this one. I've been propositioned by quite a few young (well, younger by 10 - 15 years...I'm 46) ladies. Sure doesn't hurt when they see a couple of younger kids, too.
Quote:
I think I am strong enough to maintain a new relationship, it helps if the new partner is completely understanding of your sitch also.
^This. There is a difference in some strange and maintaining a new relationship. It works, though. Am I ready for another relationship? It depends on the seriousness of it. I guess I'll cross that bridge when the opportunity arises - if it does.
There are moments in this life when you are so confident in the rightness of your actions, that not even for a second do you consider the option that you might be wrong.
I chose wisely as it seems like a new guy on the market is like gold (girls come out of the woodwork).
I'm going to have to agree on this one. I've been propositioned by quite a few young (well, younger by 10 - 15 years...I'm 46) ladies. Sure doesn't hurt when they see a couple of younger kids, too.
Quote:
I think I am strong enough to maintain a new relationship, it helps if the new partner is completely understanding of your sitch also.
^This. There is a difference in some strange and maintaining a new relationship. It works, though. Am I ready for another relationship? It depends on the seriousness of it. I guess I'll cross that bridge when the opportunity arises - if it does.
The opportunity will arise when your ready and open the door to it.
M 21 years XW 43yo, me 41 yo S13 BD March 2016 - she asked me to patient... End of June - I started the D process. D final 2/23/17 "He who forgets will be destined to remember" Eddie Vedder
As we all know going through D kinda shoots your confidence up a little or for some of us a lot. Have been chatting with a woman who lives very close. She knows my situation and I have told her how it happened. Both have kids in same schools.
First off she "stalked" xw fb page and there was a xmas pic with om , his kids x's and my 2 daughters. She said is that him? Is it a bald and fat goofy dude? Then yep that's him. She replies "your way hotter"... and "yuk"...I send back a "$" and she just says ahhhh! I guess I'll take that hotter than a fat bald goofy dude!
Then in the same convo she states that you do know any hot PTO mom would love to make this all better for you right? Um no .. where are they and what are their numbers.. I didn't say that because she is really really coool... just don't know if there is any attraction on my part... but we'll see. If nothing else I made a good friend and you can never have too many of those.
Last edited by job; 01/27/1707:03 AM. Reason: Added spacing between paragraphs
Me:47 XW 43 D15 D10 Together 17 married 15 Bd : Mother's Day 2015 Sep :July 2015 Divorce final October 2016
Seems that she is dangling that hook for you, my friend. And you are correct, even if it's just a date it can do more than wonders for your confidence and self esteem. Go for it.
There are moments in this life when you are so confident in the rightness of your actions, that not even for a second do you consider the option that you might be wrong.
Seems that she is dangling that hook for you, my friend. And you are correct, even if it's just a date it can do more than wonders for your confidence and self esteem. Go for it.
Wonder if I ask if she'll wear a Harley Quinn outfit ..?
Hey at least I'm doing better than most other guys. I haven't sent a picture of my junk..not yet anyways
She does have a masters degree which is a BIG change from xw. It is just refreshing to have convo about substantive topics rather than fluff of OMG did you see what (insert someone I don't know here) posted to fb or Instagram...
Me:47 XW 43 D15 D10 Together 17 married 15 Bd : Mother's Day 2015 Sep :July 2015 Divorce final October 2016
Wonder if I ask if she'll wear a Harley Quinn outfit ..?
Hmmm. Harley Quinn. Just be forewarned, if she cackles and swings the big hammer at you, make sure to roll really quick. Just sayin.
It is awesome to have a substantial conversation. That was sort of lacking in mine, even though she had the same degree. I'll even go back and say that even for all of Harley's ways, she is very, very intelligent...bring your A game if she gets into the debating mood! Haha.
There are moments in this life when you are so confident in the rightness of your actions, that not even for a second do you consider the option that you might be wrong.
