And, second, why would you want to pay her for what was her choice? Not a good idea.
There are moments in this life when you are so confident in the rightness of your actions, that not even for a second do you consider the option that you might be wrong.
To incentivize, and to take ownership in being partly to blame for her leaving.
Offering money, in her eyes, would be like paying her to come back. Not a good idea. It just screams of begging.
And the courts, well, are very unpredictable. They could very well take it as an admission of money owed. Talk with an atty about that one. I, for one, would never put any money talk in writing.
There are moments in this life when you are so confident in the rightness of your actions, that not even for a second do you consider the option that you might be wrong.
Offering money, in her eyes, would be like paying her to come back. Not a good idea. It just screams of begging.
Yeah. I wondered about that some, myself. Thanks for your advice.
Originally Posted By: Jeep74
And the courts, well, are very unpredictable. They could very well take it as an admission of money owed. Talk with an atty about that one. I, for one, would never put any money talk in writing.
I just thought I made it clear that the money would be paid only on condition of reconciliation. So, I don't see how the courts could spin that during a divorce. But you might be right. That would be ridiculous if she tried to get me to pay for separation, because I was offering it on condition of reconciliation.
M: 33, W: 30 @BD M 7, T 10 BD: Early Dec W left: Late Dec W got stuff: Late Jan W sent S papers: Mid Feb OM cnfrmd: Late Feb
Pain can yield tremendous growth OR everlasting sadness and bitterness.
I just thought I made it clear that the money would be paid only on condition of reconciliation
= same as begging. Don't do it.
There are moments in this life when you are so confident in the rightness of your actions, that not even for a second do you consider the option that you might be wrong.
You are sometimes so sure of what to do. Why aren't I? Am I just clueless, or am I in a fog of emotions because my woman of 10 years has been slipping away from me since the end of November?
M: 33, W: 30 @BD M 7, T 10 BD: Early Dec W left: Late Dec W got stuff: Late Jan W sent S papers: Mid Feb OM cnfrmd: Late Feb
Pain can yield tremendous growth OR everlasting sadness and bitterness.
You are sometimes so sure of what to do. Why aren't I? Am I just clueless, or am I in a fog of emotions because my woman of 10 years has been slipping away from me since the end of November?
I wouldn't say that I am sure... I'm just speaking from personal experience. You are in a fog. I was there and it wasn't pretty. Only when I stepped out of it and saw things for what they were was I able to reach those conclusions.
No one wants to lose their spouse in the way we have. No one. We grasp at any straw hoping. We (I know I have) come up with the craziest ideas that, while they make sense to us, will end up being a total failure and more often than not will backfire. Been there, done that. The sad truth is that by the time they reach the BD point - and especially affairs - they are well past done and have moved on. The brutal and unfortunate truth.
Hang in there, you'll learn just as I did.
There are moments in this life when you are so confident in the rightness of your actions, that not even for a second do you consider the option that you might be wrong.
I wouldn't say that I am sure... I'm just speaking from personal experience. You are in a fog. I was there and it wasn't pretty. Only when I stepped out of it and saw things for what they were was I able to reach those conclusions.
No one wants to lose their spouse in the way we have. No one. We grasp at any straw hoping. We (I know I have) come up with the craziest ideas that, while they make sense to us, will end up being a total failure and more often than not will backfire. Been there, done that. The sad truth is that by the time they reach the BD point - and especially affairs - they are well past done and have moved on. The brutal and unfortunate truth.
Hang in there, you'll learn just as I did.
But sometimes it's not over. Didn't the same thing happen to LITB? But he reconciled twice and is with her now. If it's true that they are all done at BD point, why are we all here on this forum?
M: 33, W: 30 @BD M 7, T 10 BD: Early Dec W left: Late Dec W got stuff: Late Jan W sent S papers: Mid Feb OM cnfrmd: Late Feb
Pain can yield tremendous growth OR everlasting sadness and bitterness.
