Divorcebusting.com Forums Open Forums Piecing Our Marriage Back Together Again Logic verses Emotions, Aiming for Logic

Pam...... the messages that Pattie and Alaska have said here today are exactly what I would say to you too....
I have been off the bb for a month and have come back with a VERY fresh perspective.

I can see an enourmous amount of growth in you and you must remember to look at your self and see that too.

Actually it is an amazing thing to see...and I've never even met you!

Don't keep looking to him to be the temperature taker of how you are doing.....look for yourself to see if you are sending too many IM or going into subjects the way you don't want to, etc.
I know you want to be sensitive to him but remember you are the best determiner for your actions...don't make him responsible........take that responsibility for yourself....and he will see the difference even more.....

Keep striving for the best "you" that you can be and don't worry too much about what he wants you to be....

YOU are a terrific creation!! and you are just who you are suppose to be......

My goodness, I can't tell you enough how amazed I am!

BIG HUG!!
Trish

Good Morning Pam!

Sending you hugs!

Hi Trish and PIB,

Thank you both for the encouragement and the hugs!

I am pretty stressed today, the taxes still aren't done and my friend last night needed some more info off of the form CHL didn't bring me. She was right he hadn't given me all the info. I knew I didn't want to put info on return without seeing the document!!!

Good Point!

The mistake was caught so no worries.

Just so down and depressed today.

I know next week have to get to working on the settlement.

CHL was rather hateful today, cursing and stuff. I did tell him no need to talk to me like that and he did apologize.

I really just want to go home and cry.

DO NOT SINK TO HIS LEVEL WHEN HE IS LIKE THAT!
YOU ARE A GROWN MATURE KIND LOVING WOMAN.
BEHAVE AS ONE.
WALK AWAY AND SHAKE IT OFF.
YOU ARE LOVED. WE ALL LOVE YOU HERE.

HUGS, AND PRAYERS,
AKGAL

Thank you Akgal

{{{{{Akgal}}}}}

Pam --

I'm sorry that CHL was swearing today...I'm assuming you're talking about the IM? Or was it something else?

I read the IM and need to offer up that it seemed as though he was feeling VERY frustrated about KNOWING that there was something going on with you but you weren't telling him WHAT despite some very direct questioning from him (kudos to CHL on the DIRECT approach).

I agree that swearing isn't helpful but can you see what happened in the IM that may have led to extreme frustration? It was as though you were telling him that you had something to say and were upset about something -- dangling that in front of him -- but not telling him what it was.

How could YOU be more direct in the future? Or, don't approach him until you are ready to talk about what's on your mind?

I'm running out for the day so if you do respond to this post don't read into a lack of response from me!

You're doing SO GOOD Pam!

sage

Hi Pam!

Hang tough girl!

Pattie