Maybe set a date for doing your taxes and let him know that if he gets the paperwork to you by then you will do both ... if not, you're just doing yours. I think he did well to open up to you - he didn't feel that you trusted him with the numbers.... but you took that opportunity to jab at him (D and J), OUCH!
By saying that you needed the paperwork, did you mean that you didn't trust him? How about a validating statement like: "I understand how asking that would make you feel as if I don't trust you. I don't mean for it to make you feel that way."
That sounds like a very logical way to handle things. It isn't like giving him an ultimatum is it?
Actually not exactly don't trust him, but I'm not comfortable doing the taxes without seeing the paperwork.
I don't think he would cheat on taxes, but I didn't think he would do those other things either.
I think a lot of this is emotions left over from Jonah and the d being so close. I am sucking bad today and I KNOW it.
When I am this off I have not figured out how to manage it yet. When I am mostly level and start some ASSuming thinking it is almost becoming automatic to immediately questing the ASSumptions! I love it because it saves me some emotional work ups of myself.
Pam
"We must be willing to let go of the life we had planned so as to have the life that is waiting for us"
Quote: When I am this off I have not figured out how to manage it yet. When I am mostly level and start some ASSuming thinking it is almost becoming automatic to immediately questing the ASSumptions! I love it because it saves me some emotional work ups of myself.
One of the best ways (and one of the highly mentioned ways on the BB) for deailng with being "off" is to not make any important decisions or any contact with the WAS until you feel "on". Sometimes that's all you can do.
Stopping by with a slice of gingerbread and a mug of cocoa for ya -- take a break, sweetie.
Sorry you had to let go of your dear friend Jonah. You gave him a wonderful life and now he'll be surrounded by peace. Dogsmiles and dogpiles -- we need these things to ground us, don't we?
You're handling so many very difficult things with grace and humor -- hug hug hug! A person can learn a thing or two reading YOUR posts!
Don't fret about emotional slips. Sometimes it's too much loss all at once, huh? This happens to us all and it gets overwhelming.
U have great bounce-back -- don't forget it!
U know what works and what doesn't.
U can trust yourself to get back on the pony and head toward high ground (when you've grieved enough for today).
You are a winner.
Thanks for being doglike -- loyal and loving -- and showing us the way.
Overwhelmed is what I felt today. I know it is a combination. I do have to grieve Jonah even though I would not have wanted him to live long with the difficult breathing he didn't seem in any pain and was still very interested in the family life. I don't think I made the wrong choice to give him the extra two weeks.
Thank you again. Cocoa is good today it is cold here!
Pam
"We must be willing to let go of the life we had planned so as to have the life that is waiting for us"
I really hope this thought stopping stuff gets easier, but on the way to work I started thinking about CHL's family and getting spun up about my feelings that they have turned their backs on me. Then I started getting upset with CHL and it hit me the emotions were starting to build and I realized what I was doing. I didn't catch it as quick as I would have liked but it does work. I am much calmer now! But WORK is the operative word.
Pam
"We must be willing to let go of the life we had planned so as to have the life that is waiting for us"
But WORK is the operative word. 
