So then... what's the alternative? How long will you support her while she's emotionally and physically separated from you?
Not rhetorical questions. I would actually like to hear your thoughts on this, even if they are half baked.
My thoughts on this are definitely half baked. I have spent some time thinking about it though.
I hate to admit it, and maybe this means I am foolish IDK, but a long time. As long as the children are loved and none of this insanity is affecting them then I feel like it's my job to preserve that, even if it costs me personally.
If the W starts taking this outside email and going to see him then that changes things. The kids would now be affected. It would be time to reconsider.
Unfortunately, email is all that she has because her relationship is partially delusion. So I could find myself stuck here for a long time. It's scary.
I am right there with you in the same sad boat. While this is a delusion and she continues to care for the kids, then I'm continuing to support her. If the fantasy becomes reality or we separate or divorce or she detaches from the children, then it will have to change.
Gordie 40s W 40s M20+ kids 2016 BD W fantasy affair w OM1 I do everything wrong 2017 I start to DB W says TLTL files for D PA w OM2 2018 I do LRT W drops filing and OM2 situation slowly improving
I'm one month into GAL activities and I think my W is becoming comfortable with the situation. Everything is friendly and the house is well run but there is no more physical loving at all. It's a bit sad but overall I am in the best emotional state that I have been in since this all started. I hope that W doesn't just rest here comfortably. It's a weird place to be stuck. I guess I can only continue and hope for the best at this point.
I'm one month into GAL activities and I think my W is becoming comfortable with the situation. Everything is friendly and the house is well run but there is no more physical loving at all. It's a bit sad but overall I am in the best emotional state that I have been in since this all started. I hope that W doesn't just rest here comfortably. It's a weird place to be stuck. I guess I can only continue and hope for the best at this point.
Hi Lex23,
Great news that you are in the best emotional state that you have been in since this all started. Sounds like your GAL activities are paying off!
You say your wife is becoming comfortable with the current situation. Specifically, what leads you to believe this?
It is probably a good time to speak with your DB Coach again so you can discuss this feeling of being stuck.
Cristy
Resource Coordinator The Divorce Busting Center 303-444-7004
A Divorce Busting Coach can help you save your marriage, even when your spouse wants out.
Email virginia@divorcebusting.com or 303-444-7004 for more information or to get started right away.
I'd be very surprised if she did. She's hungry for something outside of your marriage; and she might be taking a breather of a sort, but she's going to continue on her journey...
Me: 50, MLC/WW 45 Young kids Nov 2015: BD1 Apr 2016: BD2 Jan 2017: W filed Feb 2017: D final
I'm one month into GAL activities and I think my W is becoming comfortable with the situation. Everything is friendly and the house is well run but there is no more physical loving at all. It's a bit sad but overall I am in the best emotional state that I have been in since this all started. I hope that W doesn't just rest here comfortably. It's a weird place to be stuck. I guess I can only continue and hope for the best at this point.
Hi Lex23,
Great news that you are in the best emotional state that you have been in since this all started. Sounds like your GAL activities are paying off!
You say your wife is becoming comfortable with the current situation. Specifically, what leads you to believe this?
It is probably a good time to speak with your DB Coach again so you can discuss this feeling of being stuck.
Cristy
Resource Coordinator The Divorce Busting Center 303-444-7004
I am thinking this because she is in a pretty good mood everyday but putting zero energy into our R and not showing any signs of wanting anything more at all. The kids are taken care of and her time to paint and flirt with OM are maximized while I spend more free time doing my own thing.
I hope that W doesn't just rest here comfortably. It's a weird place to be stuck.
To me, it doesnt sound like you are 'stuck'. In my mind, every day when you dont go 'backwards' is a step forward. Keep doing as you are. The key will be to change your mindset.
I'm one month into GAL activities and I think my W is becoming comfortable with the situation. Everything is friendly and the house is well run but there is no more physical loving at all. It's a bit sad but overall I am in the best emotional state that I have been in since this all started. I hope that W doesn't just rest here comfortably. It's a weird place to be stuck. I guess I can only continue and hope for the best at this point.
Hi Lex23,
Great news that you are in the best emotional state that you have been in since this all started. Sounds like your GAL activities are paying off!
You say your wife is becoming comfortable with the current situation. Specifically, what leads you to believe this?
It is probably a good time to speak with your DB Coach again so you can discuss this feeling of being stuck.
Cristy
Resource Coordinator The Divorce Busting Center 303-444-7004
I am thinking this because she is in a pretty good mood everyday but putting zero energy into our R and not showing any signs of wanting anything more at all. The kids are taken care of and her time to paint and flirt with OM are maximized while I spend more free time doing my own thing.
What are you doing for GAL? If you're not doing it anyway, then start going out on social engagements. Have the time of your life. Without the wife of course. Not just other dudes either. Nothing wrong with women being on these social engagements. After all, you're moving on, doing GAL.
What are you doing for GAL? If you're not doing it anyway, then start going out on social engagements. Have the time of your life. Without the wife of course. Not just other dudes either. Nothing wrong with women being on these social engagements. After all, you're moving on, doing GAL.
I am going to extra judo training sessions and sometimes I go out with friends from work. Watched a UFC fight this past weekend. I drive for uber occasionally as well. I don't feel comfortable doing anything with other women. I'm not going to seek any kind of relationship with a female until this thing is resolved completely. I would not want to have to answer for that extra complication when I trying to reconcile (assuming I even get that chance). I don't even want that right now.
What are you doing for GAL? If you're not doing it anyway, then start going out on social engagements. Have the time of your life. Without the wife of course. Not just other dudes either. Nothing wrong with women being on these social engagements. After all, you're moving on, doing GAL.
I am going to extra judo training sessions and sometimes I go out with friends from work. Watched a UFC fight this past weekend. I drive for uber occasionally as well. I don't feel comfortable doing anything with other women. I'm not going to seek any kind of relationship with a female until this thing is resolved completely. I would not want to have to answer for that extra complication when I trying to reconcile (assuming I even get that chance). I don't even want that right now.
I didn't say anything about a relationship. No point in diving head first into the deep end. I'm talking about casual fun. Coffee...lunch...movie...whatever. You'll feel like a million bucks laughing and having a good time with a member of the opposite sex and it'll show your wife that she really is in extreme danger of losing you and that you'll be just fine without her. I've lived this myself and seen it dozens of times. It works better than anything else you're going to try. It has worked for others right here.
