Divorcebusting.com Forums Open Forums For Newcomers Where are we?

Hello Cashew,

I'm so sorry for the situation you are in.

Sadhub- Thanks for the vote of confidence regarding the DB Telephone Coaching!



Stop worrying about being able to read her mind. You are better of becoming the best Cashew and Dad that only a fool would leave.

You are at a very fragile point in this relationship and it would be extremely helpful to know what your next move should be. Feel free to give me a call at 303-444-7004 to discuss how we can best help you determine what to do next.

Cristy
Resource Coordinator
The Divorce Busting Center
303-444-7004

6 months since I posted this and I don't feel like I've made it anywhere. I'm so bad at this. It is totally against my nature to leave something alone but I've learned that I have to just don't know if it's too late. It was going ok until about a month ago. She was asking me to snuggle every night and telling me she loved me every few days and I totally blew it by pushing her - that wasn't enough for me. We ended up having a fight and it's been really bad since.

Sorry - I would love to have brought good news, I come here and read sometimes. The threads on mid-life crisis really hit home with her behavior and I think on top of all the issues I bring to the table she may be going through that.

I have the hardest time acting normal around her. I feel totally rejected and it makes me stress and I know she can feel it and it makes it worse.

Its never too late to start.

Time to detach and learn - tbh your sich sounds hopeful.

What would you do if she was in a coma in a hospital bed?

Treat her like that.

Very good point and that seems like something I can do, something I can focus on. Thank you - I will treat her like that and it's simple enough for me to remember.

By the way, what about the situation sounds hopeful?
thank you

Is there anything more specific that makes you think there is an OM?
Snooping is generally frowned upon here. Most will advise you not to. For me, I had to know one way or the other. I found incredibly painful things that haunt me to this day even though we are piecing.
I hid a voice activated audio recorder in my W's car because I knew she was going places and likely staying in her car when she got there. What I heard was horrifying. But I feel I had to know.
Only you can decide if its worth it for you to snoop. If she's not having an A and she finds out you have been snooping, it will damage the R. But if she is having A, I think you need to know that. Weigh this decision carefully.

There isn't anything specific, just a general feeling of ~how could she feel this way if there isn't another~. But I'm going with the advise not to snoop now (that post was from 6 months ago)- everything I did in the past to snoop turned out very bad without confirming suspicions.

So you have a WAW and possibly a MLC. DB accordingly and good luck. It will be a long, hard road but you can do it. Focus on YOU, not her.

Hello Cashew,

I am sorry that you are finding your way back to this website again. Feelings of mistrust and suspicion are not healthy in your marriage. Are you focusing your efforts on how to be the best Cashew that only a fool would leave?

It isn't too late to get things moving in a more positive direction. Please call me to discuss our coaching program 303-444-7004. The advice you will receive will be invaluable. Learn what to say and do, in a positive, productive manner. We can help you save your relationship from any future disappointments.

Cristy
Resource Coordinator
The Divorce Busting Center
303-444-7004

I don't think I can do this anymore. Can't do another year of this.