I am still doing DB. I am open to reconciliation but I am good with whatever happens. I actually saw the OM wife at an event and pulled her aside and asked her if she wanted to talk about what's been going on. That's all it took and she knew. She however will not talk to me now and I just said call me anytime if you ever want to talk. We just told the kids that we have been fighting and not getting along and needed some time apart.
Me:39 WW: 39 Kids: 11,8,4 Married: 15 years Together 17 years PA discovered November 2016 Separated living in same house - ended 1/2017 Separated, kids in house, taking turns staying in house
So it seems like OM W knew? Yet she didn't want to talk. Another LBS with her own process. LBS zombies...we're kind of dead inside yet still walking around--sorry, bad joke.
Gordie 40s W 40s M20+ kids 2016 BD W fantasy affair w OM1 I do everything wrong 2017 I start to DB W says TLTL files for D PA w OM2 2018 I do LRT W drops filing and OM2 situation slowly improving
That's right we all process differently, so I didn't push her as I have had time to process and she has not. While I think she knew deep down something's might be going on that was the first time she then confronted her husband. I only know cause then my WW asked if I talked to her and what I said. I said yes I talked to her and it wasn't important to her what we talked about.
Me:39 WW: 39 Kids: 11,8,4 Married: 15 years Together 17 years PA discovered November 2016 Separated living in same house - ended 1/2017 Separated, kids in house, taking turns staying in house
What I don't get about WW is there ability to not being able to think clearly. I talked to one of my WW friends and she said everyone has said that she is stupid, the OM is a loser, he is no good, but she continues to see him and will not listen to anyone. Her friend even said that WW said oh he would change for me. She is being so manipulated by this guy it makes me sick. I feel sorry for her, but she has to figure it out on her own.
Me:39 WW: 39 Kids: 11,8,4 Married: 15 years Together 17 years PA discovered November 2016 Separated living in same house - ended 1/2017 Separated, kids in house, taking turns staying in house
I feel like today I got to the point I want to ask for a divorce. I have know about the affair for 3 months and been physically seperated for 1 month. She continues to have the affair and will not listen to any one who tells her she is making a big mistake. My problem is she doesn't have a job. She is a teacher and probably can't start one if she finds one until July or August. I can't really afford two houses until she gets a job. What do I do, just stay seperated until then? Do I tell her I want a divorce , but will wait until she is financially stable? Bite the bullet and just be broke for 8 months. Don't tell her anything and just continue on living seperated. Any opinions or experience in this area?
Me:39 WW: 39 Kids: 11,8,4 Married: 15 years Together 17 years PA discovered November 2016 Separated living in same house - ended 1/2017 Separated, kids in house, taking turns staying in house
Is your signature correct? She's cheating and you're "taking turns staying in house"??? She cheats and you agree to leave the house half the time? May I politely ask WTF???
Yes. I couldn't stand living with her anymore and we can't afford two places. So for the sake of the kids we just swap in and out every week. It actually works out pretty good, as long as you like the place you are staying at on you off weeks which I do
Me:39 WW: 39 Kids: 11,8,4 Married: 15 years Together 17 years PA discovered November 2016 Separated living in same house - ended 1/2017 Separated, kids in house, taking turns staying in house
Yes. I couldn't stand living with her anymore and we can't afford two places. So for the sake of the kids we just swap in and out every week. It actually works out pretty good, as long as you like the place you are staying at on you off weeks which I do
Last I was doing the same thing during my stitch. I realized later that all I was doing was enabling her. She was cake eating. You need to be in the house. If she wants to separate she should be the one to do everything, let her leave the house, let her file divorce etc. You can't save a marriage if you're not there. Hang in there it gets better.
- M:32 and WW:31 D4 - Married 5 years, 11 years together - ilybinilwy 9/28 EA Confirmed + request for divorce - 10/16 Affair ended - 10/28 WW wants to reconcile after I agree on divorce - Current - Piecing
You need to be in the house. If she wants to separate she should be the one to do everything, let her leave the house, let her file divorce etc
This. At the very least, kick her out of the MBR.
There are moments in this life when you are so confident in the rightness of your actions, that not even for a second do you consider the option that you might be wrong.
That doesn't bother me. We both sleep in there , not together obviously since we are not here at the same time anymore. The thing is is that I am to the point that I do not think I want to be with her anymore. The seperation has allowed me to realize that and her unwillingness to even try, I am done with that. She was having an affair for almost a year now and continues to do it so that just shows you she don't care about the kids or me so why should I care anymore. I am moving on. I hung on for a bit and have enjoyed getting a life and can now see myself living without her.
Me:39 WW: 39 Kids: 11,8,4 Married: 15 years Together 17 years PA discovered November 2016 Separated living in same house - ended 1/2017 Separated, kids in house, taking turns staying in house