Divorcebusting.com Forums Open Forums Midlife Crisis About Last Night.....

Thanks Job.

I went. We had a great time.

She told me that she likes hanging out with me because:

I build her up.

I make her feel good about herself.

I make her laugh.

And yet, she is seeing someone. Aren't all those things a boyfriend's job?

She also asked if I would help her take her Christmas tree down if "he" can't. I told her I would if she needed me to. (I helped her put it up.)

dot....dot...dot....

I'll admit, I'm pretty confused. I guess I'm just going to roll with it...

Tad

HI

Interesting situation

I think you are doing awesome allowing the friendship and seeing what happens
everything good probably starts with a real connection and friendship

I dont know what will happen but I wonder what NG would do if you starting seeing someone? or just busy a few nights

not playing games, but just curious if your attention was elsewhere

Your situation is very interesting. Tad, I think you are handling your situation well. Friendship is the first step in any relationship Your relationship w/your GF may remain a friendship and then again, who knows what the future holds...but for now, continue to be you.

I get the sense that your friend's boyfriend isn't all that and a bag a chips. Especially if she's telling you why she likes hanging out w/you. I would listen and validate for now. If she continues to invite you out and ask you to do things, you might want to take a rain check every once in a while...but that's far down the road. Okay?

BTW, I'm glad you had a good time.

Am I the only one that sees she's interested? And I usually can't figure it out but have this time - it's that obvious. Now, I'm not saying she even knows or admits it to herself but it's clear as day! Who has a "boyfriend" and then has another guy do handy work, go out on "dinner dates" and bond together? What "boyfriend" is not concerned about this going on? What would everyone here say if she were married and doing this? C'mon people you are all smarter than this!

Now I don't know what's going on inside her. Is she afraid? Knows this BF is not the one? This BF is not even real? She afraid? Age difference? Co-workers thing? That I don't know but this is the behavior of a women smitten and if even I can see it, it has to be obvious as truly I'm no expert with women!

I' m with Don on this. I am not convinced there is another guy. I think it was Holiday' s stress that got to her added with age difference and work.. who hug you, hang out regularly with you, invite another man etc while in a relationship? She is obviously investing in you more than in him! So like you said Tad, WTF????

I still think the guy is just a friend and not someone that she hangs out with and enjoys spending time with. I think I mentioned before that she may be testing the waters w/you to see how you'll react to the news of this new guy. Again, if that guy exists, he's a "just a friend". I don't think it's anything serious or she wouldn't be keeping you on the side to do things w/when he's either busy or just not into doing things w/her.

Whatever the case, continue being yourself and keep those expectations low for now. If you enjoy doing things w/her, continue to do them...but if you think she's using you, then you'll need to decide at some point that it might not be working out for you...but that may be further down the road. For now...just enjoy yourself.

Hmm, yes I'm not sure why she would want to maintain a 'friendship' with you (which reads like borderline dating) whilst seeing a new guy..

For me, it's less a case of thinking about what's the status there - how does she feel about me, him etc... And more about living your own life as you want to. How do you feel about being in contact within this context and what's okay for you, given what she has told you.

I think for now she has chosen not to 'tip over the line' into dating with you and has mentioned someone else in the mix - so that's how things are for now and you may want to pull back a little given that.

What I do see is that she appears to be the only person you socialise with and she just told you she is seeing someone else. So you may want to seek to broaden your options for getting out and about and doing things with others too...

JMHO of course Tad and I hope this helps :)x

Thanks everyone. Interesting indeed.

As for new guy, he DOES exist. She has shown me pictures of him with his little girl. I do get the feeling though that things aren't that serious.

As for me, I'm going to pull back a bit. As I said before, I'm cool either way. Sure, it would be nice to have a companion, but I'm also cool by myself.

I guess, we'll see how it goes....

Tad

Hi Tad and Happy New Year! I'm very happy to drop in and see this post. Why? Because I remember the old Tad
The part that really made me tear up is the part where you're ok either way. Still interested but not hanging on it.

That said, she seems interested. You shouldn't be confused by the actions. Just see it how it is. She's timid. And I'm sure it's ok to see what happens if you go slowly and see if more comes of it. She's obviously interested, but you're not like the others and she seems to be looking for some common experiences - asking about your past life etc.

Whatever comes, enjoy the time like you have been brother!

AJ

AJ!!

What's up dude? It's nice to hear from you.

My life isn't exactly how I want it, but I'm ok. Wish I was better off financially, but I've gotten used to not having much money. Haha. As for lady friend, yeah, I'm ok with that too. If it happens, it happens, if not, that's cool too. I think she is interested too, but not THAT interested. I think she sees me more as a really good friend.

I don't socialize much outside of work. I probably should, but don't.

I don't think I've spoken to XW in over two years. That's fine too.

I keep busy with work, my eagle cams and my photography. I'm not the best photographer, but I'm learning and it is fun and keeps me busy.

Anyways, thanks for stopping by. I'm always interested in what you have to say.

Tad