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Praying for you as well, bsb. Holidays are hard during times like this.

Bsb

There can be advantages in filing first. Can you get a second opinion?

V

Thanks for the prayers bsb...it's so hard for all of us!, I have been missing my spouse a lot this week. I know it partly the holidays and partly her checking in on how my father is doing. Hang in there!!

There most definitely are.

I'm confused by the filing first?? I still don't want or agree to the divorce. Yes I'm better but I still love my wife and I don't want the divorce on me.

I have protected my assets as best as I can. Most of everything was premarital assets. She may fight on some verbal agreements we had. I'll explain those later if it happens.

Can someone explain why I would file?

First, it's not about the divorce on you. Not at all - you have to remember, its not your fault and filing isn't on you, either.

Some have said that filing first puts your W as the defendant and having to answer the claims. That's true, which, in a way gives you the upper hand. It also is true that by you filing first gives you the choice of location - that way, she can't file in a different area and have the proceedings in a different area. In my case, this was all-to-important as the children were concerned.

Also, it can keep you from becoming a victim of very devious practices...

A cake-eater wants to keep the LBS on the back burner in case things don't work out with the new OM, or new life. Filing the D may wake them up to the reality that the LBS isn't going to be available for a backup plan. Does this sound like your situation?

We don't have children so location isn't a big deal for me. I can understand about the other items but we have only been married 6 months and there shouldn't be too much to it except she's being selfish.

I'm not sure if I'm a backup or now at this point. We don't talk and she doesn't show any emotions towards me. It's like I don't exist anymore....

I would venture to say that is a typical and all-to familiar statement echoed on this board. Mine certainly treated me as if I didn't exist. Totally. When they are wrapped up in their affair partners, we don't exist.

I agree with that statement. I just wonder if they ever regret the things they have done to us?? I just can't imagine doing this to someone.

I talked to my lawyer. Not sure what I'm going to do just yet. Some of the things she's asking for is crazy and not right!!!