When H said he was going over to take her the earrings, I said that son and I would ride along if he wanted. H said he would "just run over there himself for a few minutes."
I told H he should have just gotten a card that was from a son to a mother instead of from Us...as I was not welcome over there and his mother was obviously holding a grudge for some reason. H left without saying much.
When he came back shortly thereafter, he ate dinner and tried his best to explain that his folks were just not "comfortable" around me because they knew about some of my behaviours. He explained to them that I had a medical condition called bipolar and that caused a lot of things. I asked if they were comfortable with all of his behaviours and he ignored me.
That pissed me off, but I let it go.
H said he thought he had the folks talked into coming over before they left to see our new decks...his mom had not seen them. As I said above, I would have bet it as if it were a sure thing that they would not show and they didn't.
I don't care though. I like the distance. It allows me to have more time with my H when he is home from work.
I am not going to let them come between us. I will not bad mouth them to him nor will I be anything less than civil to them if they do show up here. I am not going over to their place unless it is unavoidable...I'm sure I can come up with some excuse to stay home most times H goes over there from now on.
Quote: I am not going over to their place unless it is unavoidable...I'm sure I can come up with some excuse to stay home most times H goes over there from now on.
Hugs, and prayers, Akgal
Hi Akgal,
Things sound great now.
I would really give this some thought. I did, when I was hoping CHL and I would get back together and I had no idea how to handle my inlaws and decided I would avoid them.
But really that doesn't solve anything and keeps difficult feelings because your h cares for you and for them.
You might consider as you feel stronger, going with him and showing them the new you as well.
Just throwing out a thought here and I won't guarantee my thinking at any time but especially right now.
Pam
"We must be willing to let go of the life we had planned so as to have the life that is waiting for us"
Just got back from biking. Did 7 miles today. Not as long as usual, but fast and fun.
Well, court on Monday. Will probably be gone for three weeks. Will start a new thread when I get back.
Thanks so much for all your support. You all make it easier to push forward when I want to fall down!
I am so thrilled at the progress H and I have made. God has really worked in my life. I know now that my H is not perfect and neither am I so we have to work not at being perfect individuals but at being perfect for one another! I am working on my own happiness and encouraging H to work at his happiness. I am cleaning up the wreckage of my past alcoholism and moving forward as a Christian and as a better mother and better wife. I am a better person today than I was in July of last year when I started db'ing. It's been a very rough ten months, but worth it in the end...and we've been together ten years...so what's a month for every year? Didn't someone here say that is what it takes usually? Perhaps that came from JJ? If so, or if not, do you have a comment on that James John?
Just got back from biking. Did 7 miles today. Not as long as usual, but fast and fun.
Well, court on Monday. Will probably be gone for three weeks. Will start a new thread when I get back.
Thanks so much for all your support. You all make it easier to push forward when I want to fall down!
I am so thrilled at the progress H and I have made. God has really worked in my life. I know now that my H is not perfect and neither am I so we have to work not at being perfect individuals but at being perfect for one another! I am working on my own happiness and encouraging H to work at his happiness. I am cleaning up the wreckage of my past alcoholism and moving forward as a Christian and as a better mother and better wife. I am a better person today than I was in July of last year when I started db'ing. It's been a very rough ten months, but worth it in the end...and we've been together ten years...so what's a month for every year? Didn't someone here say that is what it takes usually? Perhaps that came from JJ? If so, or if not, do you have a comment on that James John?
