Divorcebusting.com Forums Open Forums Midlife Crisis Phase 2 contd (2)

Hi Feyth,
Yeah your Stbx is angry you are no longer under his domain. I think its great you are sticking to your guns and have an L to navigate these waters.
I'm sorry that now you are perceived as the enemy. Well, like others said the dog issue is problematic. As you probably guess he's going to try for the dog. Legally, as you know, dogs end up in judgements, so you can do your best, but there's also him, doing what he pleases to hurt you. I hope things eventually calm down for you. This is the worst of it.

Thank you Altair and hawho.

I am having a hard time today. Just can't seem to get moving. It's 1:30 and I'm still in my pjs. Was supposed to go to bootcamp and go for a run, but I cancelled. I have some cleaning and laundry to do, as well as legal paperwork, but I just can't do it. I'll get there.... I think Ill just start with a shower.

So, hawho, I like the suggestion of nc. The only reason we've even had contact is because of the dog. I don't know if we can come up with a legal agreement right away that can outline new stipulations.... But I would love to not see stbx for a month or longer. But I refuse to give up my dog. That little creature helped me soooo much through this whole ordeal.

I remember July of 2015, I had been in my apt for a few weeks and was still in my own fog about what was happening. One afternoon, I found myself lying on the living room floor sobbing. I ended up falling asleep with my arm straight out with my palm facing up. Within a few minutes, my pup grabbed his bed, dragged it next to me, laid down and placed his paw in my open palm. It was the sweetest thing. I truly think animals know when you're in pain and he has comforted me during the most difficult time of my entire life.

I'm upset and I have no idea how this is going to unfold. Just when I think I'm on the other side of the mountain, I see another taller and more precarious summit ahead of me. I just don't know how much I have left.

Oh and I totally agree with Job.... The more I show i want the dog, the more he's going to bully. This is psychological and emotional warfare and its devastating.

(((Feyth))), hang in there you have come so far don't let him spoil your good work. He doesn't deserve to have that power over you anymore. You are free of his controlling ways and he knows it and I think he can sense how much stronger you have become. He's losing the control and is panicking and that's when people start throwing unreasonable demands out.

You little pooch sounds so lovely....

Ah, that's a lovely story about your pup...xx

I can't recall if this has been posted before, but have you read Pigpen's thread and the exchanges with his STBXW about their doggy? Wonka gave him a great deal of advice about wording things.

This is just a thought, but rather than see your H just now, might it be an option for pup to be dropped off at a neutral place by one of you then picked up by the other? A mutual friend or even doggy day care if you use that?

We all have off days Feyth, just accept these when they happen and get back in the saddle as soon as you are able. All we need to do is keep moving forward with tiny steps, accepting invitations, trying new things, building our own lives and acting from our 'best' selves. If you do all of that, you can't really fail I promise - whatever H may be doing...xx

Oh my God Feyth, your pup went and got his bed to lie next to you. you can't get any sweeter and cuter than that!! I've never seen that before!

Happy Sunday and thank you for the check-in/ feedback.

Yes, my dog is the sweetest. I think in that moment, he knew. He's been a phenomenal companion throughout all of this.

Sotto, I will have to go back and re- read pp's thread.... Thank you for that suggestion.

I have a meeting with L tomorrow. I'm already anxious about it... But I know he's on my side so i just have to remain calm and talk through next steps.

Deeeep breaths. Wishing everyone a great day.

Deep deep breaths feyth!

((feyth))

Good luck today w/your lawyer. Take some deep breaths and ask questions if you have any.

Thank you everyone.

Meeting with the lawyer went ok. He does put my mind at ease and gets how difficult this is for me. He tells me to let him be the bad guy. Oyyyy.

I just feel guilt for not backing down (how messed up is that). I'm not being aggressive, I'm just not being submissive....and it kills me.

I feel sick to my stomach over it. My lawyer recommends we continue sharing the dog as usual as I will not be giving up my rights to him. We'll see how that goes.

I'm glad your meeting with the lawyer went well. Especially if he wants to be the bad guy

We all have bad days Feyth, some days I'm on autopilot and I do the absolute minimum to get through the day. Others I have the energy to do loads. It is a rollercoaster I guess.

Take care sweetie