His R with his two daughters is between them and WH.
Not your circus or your monkeys.
You may wish to implement an online calender for your DD, with pickup and drop off times. I don't know how practical a change of locks is if DD is always at home.
However, if your WH has a car you may know he is there before you open the door.
You cannot do NC for one week, NC is as V has done, NC for good. One week is just reduced contact space.
NC means not checking FB, no texts, no emails, no letter, no calls, no intermediary stuff. All interactions is with solicitor only. I do not contact.
At this point I don't think of him as him, he is the Giggalo, a thing not a person. A caricature of a man without substance. I can't even be bothered to discuss him except in the context of the abuse from which I am healing.
My focus is wholly on me and recovery.
My Fins with the Giggalo aren't finished when that's done, it's gone. That's NC, I trust I will never think of him again. Go away and good luck.
It's different when you share a dependant. Don't let that stop you going NC for good, organising through an online calander so he becomes calender dad to DD. Let go of the outcome of R, detatch.
You can stand as long as you like, you can do whatever you want. Your old M is done sweetheart and over. You need a new one with him or another. This one is spent.
And truly it isn't your fault he isn't sorting out his side of the street and his R with his two daughters. It's his circus, his monkeys.
Let him sort it for himself, get out the way. If he rants say to him, your sandpit honey, you sort it for yourself.
Pack his stuff, wrap the lead and post it if he leaves it again so he will have to wait.
You need respite from him and your home space to recover.
I am tempted to say get a taser but as a gentle soul that likely won't wash.
It's time to reclaim your space.
V
Freedom is just another word for nothing left to loose. V 64, WAW
No sweetie, it is very easy to feel this way, gracious I know I felt deep shame and pain because The Giggalo did this.
It's hard to know.
From the other side I can assure you, this isn't about you. Not one little bit of it. There is nothing, nothing at all wrong with you.
I use the word nothing this way to reframe your thinking ok?
You are everything.
Your feelings tell you otherwise of course and they arE just feelings and thoughts. Observe them, like flotsam and jetsam on a river floating by. It doesn't make it true. I Internet promise you this, it is part of the process, absolutely normal and expected. It is called the Kubler Ross grief process. You can Google it.
It will pass and I for one am pleased to see you move to this because denial is a very stuck phase for sum. That sounds pretty awful to say and I mean it kindly, walk to the pain, cry it out, scream, beat a pillow, go for a run. Allow yourself this time and truly bath in it. Then do what you do best be a great mom and go GAL.
Because you are weary this will be more wearing, so extreme self care at this time.
I am here, and will check in on you.
Big hugs
V
Freedom is just another word for nothing left to loose. V 64, WAW
I'm awake. Didn't sleep much. I don't know why this hurts so much because, afterall, he slept with other women while we were married. It does though. It feels like the ultimate proof that I really am worth nothing to the man I gave more than half my life to. I hope this phase of self pity passes quickly.
Did lots of GAL stuff this week. A new friend and I were trying to come up with ideas for meeting new people. Neither of us like the bar scene. She's ready to date and I am not(I can be her wing man).
On BD H52, W50 T27, M26 S21, D23 BD-9-Mar-16 D-15-Jan-18 Final-19-Apr-18 I am a storyteller. The story may do you no good. But a story is never for the listener. It is always for the one who tells
