Thanks to all who have wished me well. I will definitely keep in mind what Lissie and Snodderly have said. I will take things slowly and not lose myself in the marriage again. The biggest thing I gained from this whole experience is self-worth. I found myself again. And I thank my W and God for making me look long and hard. I can live the rest of my life knowing how good I feel about myself. And I also learned how much I truly love my W and children. I will never take them for granted again. NEVER.
Last edited by poohbear; 08/23/0711:45 AM.
PoohBear
Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.
The one thing that did bother me, was that I replaced the sadness and pain with anger. But the anger was only there when I was around her. Once I or she would leave, I felt like a weight was lifted off of my shoulders. But even the anger was subsiding with time. Letting go allowed me to talk to her as an acquaintance, rather than an old friend or STBXW. I was able to treat her like less than a co-worker.
Yes Pooh! This is EXACTLY what I'm feeling right now. I hate the sight of his face b/c it brings so much anger out. Not so bad when he's not around. And I have to see/talk w/him pretty much everyday b/c of the kids.
Thing is, he is real confused right now. I've gone from being nice to cordial. I'm not mean at all. Just to the point w/no chit chat. ONly b/c I'm afraid chit/chat will lead to slip/slap
Thanks Pooh! You rock!
Me-BS 38 X-WS 36 Separated 11/15/2006 Filed for D 8/1/2007 Divorce Final 12/21/2007 S13, S13 (twins), D9 Married 13 Yrs Together 20 Yrs
WOW there are some similarities to my stitch. but when I let go the anger went too. I was horrible sad but accepting the D which had started. but i believed that is what brought H back.
Me 53 H 51 OW 25 Bomb may 06 left june 8/ 06 ILYBNILWY (twice!) 7/6/07 H wants to come home 7/21/07 H comes home 7/07 -7/08 long haul letting go of OW now piecing in earnest
thank you for sharing this, and best wishes to you on this new leg of your journey. It sounds like you are really well prepared having learned to detach. You are a great DB model!
I thought this thread might be a good example of letting go/detaching for those who are struggling w/understanding how it works or for those who are afraid to let go.
R 25 years M 14 years S11 & S13 Working on it alone since Oct 2014 M in trouble a lot earlier (~2 years) Feb 2016. 1st R chat in a yr. Next R chat Aug'17 Still together
