Thank you for your response. I have read and read and read for weeks. I know detaching is what I have to do and I am TRYING - really I am . But how can I detach when he is staying in the house and inserting himself at will to some (not all) of our family daily activities. How do you keep that balance?
I guess I think that because he dropped this I love you but am not in love with you out of the blue. He seems to have changed on a dime. And is admittedly completely only interested in his self and his own wants. He is approaching his 40th birthday (dec. 4) and has said he only thinks he has 5 - 10 good years in him and then he'll be a wrinkly f*ck" - so why waste them being not fulfilled.
Sounds like a classic MLC to me. Personally, I would reciprocate his affection. The key reason being he has asked you to bear with him. Otherwise may feel you are punishing him for his confusion about his life, which he can't help at the moment.
Now, since he has said he doesn't want you to fake it, you may not want to go overboard with the reciprocating but maybe ramp it up a bit beyond what you would have done in the past. If that doesn't work, then try another approach. Maybe you need to surprise him with some affection. But whatever you do don't tell him what you want or need because that may just make him uncomfortable, show him by actions.
