Grl thanks for the hugs, I will probably need them later when reality kicks in!!
Surfer, thank you, I've been reading into a lot about db-big, and the homework, and then other psychology that supports it and the need to find your own peace and happiness! Me, S and mil are all out. Took them for a drive, we had some breakfast out, will probably go for a meal. Yup there will be a lot of therapeutic shopping being done! Might even have a call into vs and get me a few nice things, who says I can't look good for me! There's hamlets too, so I'll let him pick something fun too. I know you can't buy happiness, but a little jewellery and clothes goes a long way, I like to look put together and fashionable, even when pregnant!
Yeah, I thought I handled it well, I was not snappy or rude. I just simply let him see that he does not take the lead. I'm not some weak woman that will bow to his every command. The woman I was when he met me would not have let him take the lead on everything, and as he has fired me from being his wife, he no longer has that privilege of me doing what he likes when he likes.
Me 26 H 25 M 4 T 5 Baby born 4/14 BD: 1/15 EA: 2/15 PA: 4/15 reconciling: 4/15 ILYBINILWY- 11/15 ILY-1/16 ILYBNILWY 4/16 ILY 6/16 ILYBINILWY 6/16 Baby due 3/17 BD 8/16
Oh guys, you're all so lovely, I appreciate the check ins so much.
We had a good day out, it was good to be away from the house and together as a little family helping one another. Just realised a typo- I did not go to hamlets! I took S to HAMLEYS he played with lots of toys and we picked out some new things and some new books to read at bedtime.
Came home and he was still moving things. S was looking around, checking boxes and saying "what's daddy doing", "where's daddy". Luckily he hadn't had a nap so I took him to my room, he was a bit distressed saying "what's daddy doing" over and over. I sat down and cuddled up to him, we read a book and he curled up to me and fell asleep.
By the time he had woke up, wh had gone. Still a lot of things left here of his, including the divorce papers!! I made dinner and put S to bed. I did get a little teary at one point, I let those out in the bathroom, so nobody saw anything other than a woman who had it together. And I was. After S went to bed I got a nice long bath. Wh came home and just sat in our living room. He didn't say anything to anyone or even see S. After a couple hours he left. And that was that. My doors are locked and bolting- I am now the man of the house. He can't treat this like a drop in centre. Especially as this house was "suffocating ". No more tears though. In bed trying to process and unwind. It's strange, it feels weird that he's gone. But this is our new reality.
Me 26 H 25 M 4 T 5 Baby born 4/14 BD: 1/15 EA: 2/15 PA: 4/15 reconciling: 4/15 ILYBINILWY- 11/15 ILY-1/16 ILYBNILWY 4/16 ILY 6/16 ILYBINILWY 6/16 Baby due 3/17 BD 8/16
((Cherry)), you have done brilliantly keeping it together today it can't have been easy. You are right you are now the man of the house. You can start building a home for your little chicks and your MIL where you can all feel safe and happy.
Very strange that H came back and sat in the living room for a couple of hours! Has he given you his address?
I knew you meant Hamleys!!!
Me - 47 H - 45 D-16 M - 6 years Separated - May 16
Don't leave me behind can't you see me I'm shining... (Years & Years - 'Shine')
I have this strange mix of pride reading how you're being so graceful and strong through this while simultaneously wanting to throttle your WH. In the meantime now your WH will have to face the fact that he can no longer pin his unhappiness on you, now he will have to face that the problem lies within. So the entire premise of his mental shift will come to question. Remember that this is a journey and it does not mean his path will never join with yours again. Instead it may be the wake up call he needs to realize he it throwing away the greatest gift he has ever had.
Meanwhile continue making yourself beautiful, joyous and gracious.
M 10yrs T 13yrs BD #1Oct 2015-PA between WAH and COW BD #2 April 2016-WH resumed PA, she broke it off Jan 2 2017 WH says he wants divorce April '17-Letting go 2018 D busted DD8, DS6, DS3
Thanks coly. No it wasn't easy, but I'm quite surprised with myself that I didn't go to absolute pieces. I hope some kind of delayed reaction doesn't hit me sometime! Yeah the just sitting there was ever so strange, he then left without saying a word. Again that didn't bother me like I would have thought. Today felt like a d when I let myself go from him, as though I am beginning to cut the cords.
Sara, thank you. A lot of people who know us both personally and know wh keep telling me he will realise what he is doing and be back. I'm not sure wether he will, I guess I am thinking he won't, that way I have no expectations and can't get hurt. But yeah I guess that now he will have to deal with things by himself so he cannot blame me anymore
Me 26 H 25 M 4 T 5 Baby born 4/14 BD: 1/15 EA: 2/15 PA: 4/15 reconciling: 4/15 ILYBINILWY- 11/15 ILY-1/16 ILYBNILWY 4/16 ILY 6/16 ILYBINILWY 6/16 Baby due 3/17 BD 8/16
Reality will bite your h and the skank. But don't hold your breath while waiting.
Should the D proceed, you don't have to go for the jugular but please don't make my mistake of trying to nice your H back. Go for what is fair and reasonable and then some.
In legal aspects, this is where I tend to be more hard-nosed and in more favour of tougher consequences.
Also, leave the dirty job to your L. Continue to be civil.
You can call me Dory/ Grl.
As a wise fish once sang,"Just keep swimming!"
It's no use to go back to yesterday because I was a different person then.
