Tim, I'll be thinking of you tonight as you give her the letter. I hope this results in some kind of breakthrough for you (well, for her too). Congrats on getting your painting project done. PAINTING SUCKS! (You heard it here first.)
Quote: Tim, I'll be thinking of you tonight as you give her the letter.
Well, you needn't... I'm a wuss.. a weakling. After A.D., she immediately got up and started working at post-painting cleanup, organizing, etc... Worked on that for an hour, then sat down VERY briefly, then off to take a shower. It's too late tonight, everyone's too tired... not the right time for what SHE will see as a confrontation. I will be leaving "the letter" on the bed tomorrow morning before we all head out. She'll find it sometime during the day, and read it. I think this is a cowardly act on my part, but I just can't get her alone for two minutes... and that's kind of the main point I make in the letter, anyway... THIS SUX!!!
It DOES suck. I'm sorry that it's come to the point where the only way you can communicate with her is through a letter. Keep us posted on how things go.
Quote: ...Worked on that for an hour, then sat down VERY briefly, then off to take a shower. It's too late tonight...
Oops... I am SUCH a dope! I totally missed the significance of her taking a shower. I had thought she just wanted to get clean after working all day painting. Nope!! That's right... I got LUCKY last night!!! Not only that, but it was G-O-O-D (for both of us! ) That was a HUGE love-tank fill-up!
So for now, the letter will remain in my briefcase, and if I do end up giving it to her, I'll be revising it somewhat, but I'll go back into "wait and see" mode, till I figure out if last night was a fluke, or if there really is some change afoot. I'll post the details in "Super Success Stories" (Yay! I finally get to post something there! )
I know that this week still will be very busy, and especially next weekend, so I will place no demands on her, and I will help out to the fullest extent possible, and see if I can fill up HER love-tank.
There is a reason that LD women make themselve so busy. 1) Sex is not important to them, therefore they never think to pu it on their schedule. 2) They love to be in the "Mommy" mode, they don't realize that they are supposed to be "Lovers" first. 3) They tend to be perfectionists. 4) They are looking for ANY excuse to not be sexual, therefore they fill up their lives with EVERYTHING possible. 5) LD women tend to want to fill thier lives with children things because they are in effect withdrawing from their marriages, kind of like when us guys withdraw by getting wrapped up in work, or doing buddy things.
In effect, she is making sure that there is a shortage of time to play, because she does not want to play! I know, my wife does the same thing. Michell even mentions it in her book. She says that LD women always seem to find a very important project that needs to get done immediately at about the same time that the spouses are getting ready for bed.
Quote: Like I said Tim. Lose the beard, get the girl. Good man!
Interesting thing about the beard thing. Now that the initial self-image shock has passed, I'm actually starting to LIKE the way I look. One thing's for sure... it takes YEARS off my image. Not to be immodest, but I think if I died my hair, I might actually be able to pass for mid-30's. Not bad for an "old fart" of 48! I can think of worse things...
The feedback so far at work has been overwhelmingly positive also. I think I'll keep it for a while, and see what happens...
Yeah, I decided long ago that the VERY LAST thing I'd ever want to do is start dying my hair or anything like that that'd tie me to it for the rest of my life... UGH! No way! Besides, there are quite a number of guys who go grey VERY young. I've known guys in their 20's who were totally grey (Leslie Neilson comes to mind). In fact, S18 is already greying quite a bit - he's died HIS hair a number of times, but mostly doesn't - too much hassle...
For the same reason (plus the cost) when I noticed my hair thinning, I decided AGAINST Rogaine, which only helps 1 in 100 anyway... (my hair is somewhat thin now, but seems to have stabilized, at least for the moment..)
) That was a HUGE love-tank fill-up!
)