So I managed to apologize for being short with the wife last night. I blame it on being worried about the dog. She said she totally understood. She's trying to have her brother help her move on Tuesday and on Thursday morning next week we have an appointment as a family with a therapist so we can talk about what is going on with our little ones.
W is seemingly starting to get overwhelmed by the amount of work she is facing and the lack of money. Jsut wait until she doesn't see the kids for 5 days straight.
Her brother is being as inflexible as he can with helping her move.
Be very careful in how you present what is happening with your kids. Is this meeting with the therapist that your wife is seeing?
Michele has written an article about what and how to tell the kids about potential divorce. Please email me and I will be happy to send you the link.
You also mentioned on your previous thread that you are wanting to speak with a DB Coach. Please call me at 303-444-7004 and we can discuss options including a discount.
Regards,
Cristy Resource Coordinator The Divorce Busting Center 303-444-7004 cristy@divorcebusting.com
A Divorce Busting Coach can help you save your marriage, even when your spouse wants out.
Email virginia@divorcebusting.com or 303-444-7004 for more information or to get started right away.
I see what you are getting at. Right now the biggest barriers are time, money, kids.
I have a lot of stuff I want to get going on but I am taking on the majority of the child rearing responsibilities at this time. Kids are 2 and 3 so it is kind of difficult to do much when I have them. I try to spend time outside with the chickens and in the garden after the kids go to bed, but by that time I am so exhausted I just fill up water and feed and head inside to watch TV...as it is usually getting dark anyway. I do however, once all her crap is out (Saturday I hope) clean up the garage and organize it better. I have some fast frame kits coming to build sheds/livestock shelters because I am going to expand my little farm that she harassed me about nonstop.
All of my stuff I want to learn really involves my love of homesteading and continuing my goal of being mostly self sufficient...
But I will work on making a bucket list.
Today, in terms of emotions and thoughts, has actually been the best day since the BD 4 weeks ago. I am feeling a sense of relief that she is moving out. I guess that sounds wrong, but I am also really enjoying the idea of not having a slob living with me that I have to go around and clean up after (besides my children...who I am training quite well)...and I am by no means a neat freak, but there is a certain level of basic cleanliness that is needed for me to feel comfortable and calm in my environment. She has never been willing to meet me halfway on that.
I am also enjoying the idea of being able to expand my microfarm and add some goats and guinea fowl. She said NO to both.
Also, thinking about how much less money (once debt is paid) I am going to have to shell out to support her career in hair, her car payment, HEALTH INSURANCE!! OMG, $350 a month for her - I am free through my employer.
I am now starting to think what exactly I found to be so terrific about her. Yes, we had fun together...but there has been a ton of turmoil in this relationship. I am nowhere near without blame...but as DB says, PERSON A does this, PERSON B reacts, PERSON A reacts to that, PERSON B reacts to that reaction and so on...
She brought a ton of baggage into the relationship and now that I look back, I was soooo stupid to propose as quickly as I did. I don't regret it however, because it led to us getting these kids and I wouldn't change that for the world.
While I am feeling good about the move out...I am still convinced we could have worked through our issues without all of this mess - but nothing I can do now and I cannot control her thoughts or actions. JUST ME!!! Thank you for all the advice so far. I am not going anywhere, just thankful I found this place.
