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Sandi's post was amazing. Re-read it, hawk and cheesy. Sandi packs it all into a few paragraphs. Very wise.
Cheesyt, I've been thinking about you and hoping things get better. Sounds like there is still plenty of hope. I'm glad you are GALing so well. How was the Polish food festival?
And I'm so jealous that Wonka's picking you up in her red-hot convertible, because she's red-hot herself! Wonka was so helpful to me!
Hang in there, cheesyt.

I have!!! It was very helpful!

Cheesyt, sounds like you're full of GAL activities, that's great bud!

That's rough w/ the texting. Good job pushing back on her to give you details though, as opposed to taking it at face value. I completely get the controlling stuff, as you've seen from my thread. Very difficult, but very necessary to address and manage through unfortunately.

Go ahead and get the bed. No point in being uncomfortable in the new living arrangements, regardless of how short/long they are. I wouldn't view it as "our" bed vs "my" bed, just merely as a means to a good night's sleep.

Hang in there brother and good luck w/ the L appointment. It's not the most pleasant thing, but as AndrewP told me, it at least gives you a realistic view of the process. My IC also equated it to me "catching up" with my WW who was already well ahead of me in this whole thing. Here to support you bud!

I think I'm suffering from the "divorce is the easy way out" syndrome.

Struggling between I want my M (but my W is MIA at the moment) and D sounds like a fresh start.

I know this isn't meant to be a cake walk. I feel pain and hurt, but I think most of all I feel numb.

Since Sunday I've felt "off" and I don't think I'm back to me just yet.

-going through the motions.

Seems like you've got decent balance when you're busy with your GAL stuff cheesyt. Maybe try to schedule something to get out of the house before the weekend.

For the pain and hurt, I get it completely. There are times that I feel like a zombie all day. I find the gym helps to waken me up and get me out of that funk. Tough to escape though, but in the end know that you'll come out of this thing an emotionally stronger person.

Hang in there brother!

I've been a little MIA the last few days and I just read what Sandi posted and I can see how all of that is true.

I feel like I got to a place where I have completely dropped the rope and just went about my own thing and all the sudden there my W is.

Calling me, texting me, trying to talk to me all the time. And when I'm distant with her the more she wants to talk. When I bring up practical things such as when I told her that I was planning on packing up the rest of her stuff from around the house so she could come get it, she gets upset and cries.

I kid you not she has started crying 4 times on the phone with me over the past few days and it's all been about practical things that go along with D.

Ironically this all started around the time I stopped focusing on trying to DB. I'm not actively "trying" to DB I'm just living my life for me and ironically that does automatically include many of the things that DB tells us to do.

Spoke to the roommate yesterday, she made me one of my favorite dinner dishes. She told me I can stay as long as it keeps working out for both of us. Her only concern was when her family comes to visit, (I've taken up the guest quarters) I told her I have plenty of other places I could crash for those days. It's settled, I'm buying a bed and mattress after work. Kind of googled some places was looking at mattresses, got very emotional (but I guess better here in front of my computer than at the store itself) I'm feeling overwhelmed. This is so real...I'm living my own life and I couldn't dislike it more.

Miss my W terribly.

I hear ya, cheesy. It is your own life and you ARE living it. You're making it, and you will love it again, I have no doubt. Right now it's important just to eat, sleep, breathe, and keep doing it over and over until the next day, when you do it all over again.
It's not easy at all. But you'll find your way. I know it sounds like platitudes, but I'll use my age/experience to say I've been through it too many times in my life. It gets better.

Well done Cheesyt, you are doing things to make you feel better. Just been on Maybs post and a similar thing seems to be happening to her!

Hang in there Cheesyt...it does [censored] but keep doing stuff for you!!! You are doing a good job of GALing...I know what you mean about missing your W!!! ugh