What I found is this. Your family and friends love you. They just want to support you and they want you to be happy. I think - and this is just my experience - after a while they decide that the marriage is over, and in order for you to be happy they want you to move on. At which point, they switch from supporting your DB efforts to get your ex back - to actively hating your ex and wanting you to accept the D and move on with your life as quickly as possible, as this is the quickest path for you to be happy again, even though it [censored].
So don't be mad at your family, they just love you and want you to be happy. The problem is - it's not their marriage that's falling apart, it's not their family that is being broken, or their kids that are being hurt. Right now I have to DB almost in secret, my family will not support it and they just want me to accept it and move on. This is common, noone will understand it. But everyone on here is going through the same thing and we support your courage to fight for your marriage. It [censored] but that's probably your situation.
I've stopped really talking to my folks about what I'm doing, but I make sure that they know I'm FINE. They're proud of the Daddy I'm becoming. They're wary of WW because they worry about S and that's fine. But I reassure them that I know the woman, and that I'm not begging her I'm waiting for change. They haven't said, but I bet they would prefer if I just D but they support me.
My best friend? He wants me to D and hates her. I understand that. But he's like a brother to me. He saw me completely break down in front of him, and knows my heart was broken. He supports me too though.
Those are the only people I've spoken to candidly.
I agree with you QT. Everyone is showing you love, they hurt watching you hurt. But you believe it's worth it. Forgive your support network. They do love you!!
Me: 35 W: 32 S: 4 T: 6 M: 4 Physical Separation official: 5/21 Currently: DR/DBing, Focusing on me and son
Cheating on a good person is like throwing away a diamond and picking up a rock.
My best friend? He wants me to D and hates her. I understand that. But he's like a brother to me. He saw me completely break down in front of him, and knows my heart was broken. He supports me too though.
That's true, same for me.
"There is no more important fight than the one for ourselves. Keep on winning." Ginger1, Read her newbies. BD: Feb '16 D: Mar '17 Piecing: Putting the self back together was my piecing. S6
Hey LonelyW. First, I did what you have done - I let a thread go to 30 or so posts and started a new one. A 2x4 hit me and was told that when you get to 100 replies a moderator will ask you to start a new one. So, I am not a moderator, nor pretending to be. I am handing you the 2x4, you can hit yourself with it or not.
Yeah - what he said.
Threads merged, stick to one thread until 100 posts.
I had a coffee date yesterday and it was great. I was so enjoyable having a conversation with someone that wasn't forced, laced with hurtful things, or insulting. This person asked me to dinner tomorrow night and I am going to go.
If you still want to be married to H, then why are you going out on dates with other men? There are plenty of ways to stop doing this:
Originally Posted By: LonelyW
I am tired of feeling like a victim. I am tired of looking at my phone every other minute waiting for my H to call or text. Or standing by the window looking at the street waiting for him to come home.
without needing individual time with a member of the opposite sex. That doesnt seem like GAL to me. Cant you funnel that energy into doing new and exciting things? I understand that this person understands your situation, but I imagine that the AP also knew of your H's situation before engaging in anything.
Just my opinion; I know there are various members on here that feel differently.
Sometimes it helps for someone to repeat back to us what they heard us say.... Please think about it.
Dunno about LonelyW, but reading/thinking about this definitely helps me forward in my own thinking about spending time w/ other women at this point. Thanks CT1118 and others.
Me: 50, MLC/WW 45 Young kids Nov 2015: BD1 Apr 2016: BD2 Jan 2017: W filed Feb 2017: D final
