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Would love to hear anyone's point of view on this. Should I accept the invitation to go to lunch on Sunday or just say I am busy and let D go with him on her own?

Sorry, but I don't think you should be. You just can't know what's going on in his head, and shouldn't get your hopes up based on an optimistic interpretation.

Best to detach and GAL, and try to become an attractive person that your H -- or anyone else, for that matter -- would feel drawn to.

Are you able to see a therapist/counselor? It's not easy to find a good one -- many duds out there -- but some can be really helpful in helping you see your role in all of this.........

Gosh, this is all so confusing! Like you say I'm not sure what is going on in his head but I thought as he didn't have to invite me maybe that's a good sign that he wants to see me after going semi-dark for a week....?

I spoke with D and she really wants me to go so now I'm really confused!!!

I think you should go. Just don't get your hopes up that this means some change of heart in your H. Be a good co-parent, but don't pursue your H in any way.

Thanks ForGump, if I go I'll keep all my emotions in check and definitely won't read anything much into it.

My D thinks I'm overthinking everything and making it all so complicated because now I'm thinking, why lunch? Is that because he already has arrangements in the evening so he is just trying to fit us in!!! Aarrrggghhhh!!!

Coly23, your D is right on. You gotta get off that train. Get on your own.

Unhappy people don't make good partners. You gotta find your own happiness.

I did it! I told H I wasn't available to meet for lunch but that D would be happy to meet with him. I feel like a weight has been lifted from my shoulders....

Now the euphoria of making that decision has worn off I now feel a bit tearful.... :0(

Coly23, you gotta believe that you're an attractive, interesting person, and that MANY men would love to have lunch with you. And least of all your H should know it. He may not realize that right now because his head is in a fog. But should the fog clear, he'll remember why he found you attractive in the first place.

I think saying No to lunch w/ him is a GREAT 180. I'm sure it made him pause.... But this is the first step. Don't take a step backward.

Thanks for the pep talk Gump! Feeling a bit better now and planning my Sunday. Will go to the gym and then a bit of retail therapy, just what the Doctor Ordered!

I'm going on Holiday for a week with my D and My Sister's family next Sunday and hoping this will help me detach...

I did break my dim rule and texted H this evening as I just heard that a beautiful friend of ours lost her fight with cancer. He came back straight away and said he was just about to text me about it too. Would love to have a hug from him right now. Maybe I was wrong but I told him that I couldn't wait for 2016 to be over as it has turned out to be the crapiest year so far! As expected, no response!!