Nothing about anniversary. From her perspective the M is dead.
H-46 XW-38 T-7 M-6 S-9,8,8,6,4 S 11/30/15, I filed 12/8/15 EA 2/1/16 D dismissed 3/24/16 PA 3/18/16 confirmed 4/22/16 XW files for D 4/1/16 - D final 11/17/16 Finally moving forward...
So, we are coming up on the month anniversary of our separation. So painful. I have ALL the respect in the world for everyone who has been through this. You are superheroes!!
WAW went out of town for 14 days for work, during that time wanted to call her desperately but "held out" in continuing the going dark theme. Last night, one of her friends mentioned she was "frustrated" I did not call her. Do I tell her I "wanted to" or continue keeping dark???
W:51 M:50 T:19 yrs M: 17 yrs S15 S11 BD: April 2016 ("too much tension") Moved out: early June 2016 Filed for D: early June 2016
I would not tell anyone of her friends "you wanted" to call her. I believe it would still be considered pursuing. If she is frustrated you didn't call then she should be the one calling you. Let her be the pursuer instead of you.
M 55 W 52 MR 32 T 34+ D29 BD May 8, 2016 - She moved out ILYBNILWY May 15 (Through email) No EA/PA August 23 - DB used against me in every way Divorce July 18, 2017 - Life is getting better every day
Stay dark! IMO, this means its working. It means she's conflicted. Stay dark and work on you! Detach, 180 and GAL. Go hard and be genuine in the changes you make.
Me: 48 y/o W: 47 y/o Together: > 20 yrs BD: Dec '15, then S 2nd BD: Mar '16, then I filed for D April '16: started piecing
Me and my WW (STBXW) had our anniversary last month, I said nothing and received a text from her saying "not sure I can't say happy anniversary" I texted back and said that I couldn't say the same thing. Didn't matter either way..but my sich is different because my W is a cake eater. I would not say anything about the date, just another day because as others has said the M is dead right now, she killed it. I am no vet just how I feel about what I have learned so far.
M 21 years XW 43yo, me 41 yo S13 BD March 2016 - she asked me to patient... End of June - I started the D process. D final 2/23/17 "He who forgets will be destined to remember" Eddie Vedder
I am not up to date on all of your story, but what I have observed here is that those who have resisted the temptation to stop being dark, fare out better.
There are many reasons for that. I won't outline them now, but I would add that phones work in both directions. Let her call you. There could be many reasons behind her telling others she would like you to phone her. I think you will use up way too much energy trying to figure out her thinking and still not know. Mind reading is truly a waste of time, but we inevitably do it to figure out where they are at.
Actions speak louder than words. Her phoning would be an action.
RDS and LIM gave good advice.
Best wishes
R 25 years M 14 years S11 & S13 Working on it alone since Oct 2014 M in trouble a lot earlier (~2 years) Feb 2016. 1st R chat in a yr. Next R chat Aug'17 Still together
i agree with others - i have done a horrible job of going dark. I start then W shows interest then i cave, after that W pretty much changes tune and leaves me cold again.
If she really wanted to and is ready to commit to you she will let you know herself.
Me31 W31 M11yrs S6yrs 23Mar16-BD 9Apr16-W admitted EA w boss. 27Jun16-W Changed job and promised NC w OM. 14Jul16-Continued contact w OM.Start of Separation. 24May17-Divorced.
Going thru a Divorce myself living in same house until shortly
Our anniversary came and went....not a mention by her or me
I was going to say something and glad I kept my mouth shut as it was a non event
I would say let it pass. Let her be the one if anyone to say something.
_________________________ Me-48 Spouse-WAW 52 Married for 10 years D7 ILYBNILWY 7/15 Suspect EA/PA 12/15 No confirmation/denial She files 1/2016 Working towards the Big D ...still in progress....
