Divorcebusting.com Forums Open Forums For Newcomers Episode 3 - The Divorce Awakens

I'm very confused as to what you would have done differently.

The first step to climbing out of a hole is to stop digging. It doesn't matter what you call it, you have to stop digging. Even with your most recent text message, you aren't stopping. Why would you send that out of the blue and be irritated she didn't respond...? Because you had some expectation on her that it may DO something positive for you.

In my opinion, no, divorce busting does not save every marriage. It can't possibly claim to do that. I'd guess it saves about 3% of the marriages of the people who come here. Maybe even fewer. But I'd say it saves 100% of the people that come here and stick to the methods. That's all that there is control of.

For $1000 per a set of coaching sessions I'd hope it would have a better success rate. Because 'no contact' would give you the same result - no expectations, detachment - for free. And that note was my coaches idea.

And what do you mean by 'saves'? Those people wouldn't eventually regain lives and self respect through time and a good support group?

I came here to save my marriage, if I merely wanted to accept and feel better I would have simply bought books off amazon, talked to my support group ans therapist and spent time working on my career or at the gym.


...I'm sorry. I'm scared and frustrated. I'm pretty depressed and coming out of a hospital stay.

The note you're talking about, was it the note you sent to your W while you were still healing from your surgery?

qt4x11,

I hope I don't have to start slapping you around, 'cause you know how it goes, the beatings don't stop until morale improves.

RDS-
No the one I sent last night.

As you can tell I can be impatient and I have a big mouth. I hasn't been serving me well recently with my W.

qt4x11,

You're like me; I'm very patient for a short amount of time.

doodler, I have found that when that short amount of time is up that a short prayer helps me to extend my patience a bit longer.
My prayer goes a little something like this,
Please give me patience because if you give me strength, I'll also need a new identity and a one way ticket to a non-extraditing country.
AMEN!

LMAO. I don't know why that struck me as so funny.





Okay, got it. I'm glad to hear the note you sent to your W while you were on meds was not the one the DB coach said to send. Did your coach say to expect your W to respond and if she didn't what action you were supposed to do?

I agree.

I'd guess for 9 out of 10 who come here ... their (our) fate is sealed. Years of problems in marriages and people's personalities can't be undone with a few clever techniques. For the lucky 1 in 10 ... DB might work but maybe their marriage might have recovered anyway without DB.

I mean, come on, let's be real. MWD has to sell books and counseling packages, so they need to make it sound like DB works fairly well. If they said up front that the success rate is 3%, nobody would bother. We'd just give up from the get-go.

But I think the website helps us cope and pass the time as most of us face the inevitable.