Yeah I've noticed a change in her since I've been doing LRT.
She's been asking my whereabouts being really nice, then changes her mood into moaning at me and blaming me for everything, constantly changing backwards and forwards.
I said I'm not going to the bbq as I did t want people to feel awkward and she should have a nice time with her family. Her response was no one would feel awkward other than you because nobody gives a s**t if your there or not, but then ends with "I thought we we're going to do things as a family"
She has mentioned now that it's uncomfortable living with me as I will only talk to her if she starts talking to me, I can tell she's getting annoyed by what I'm doing, I feel I have more control over myself than I did which is a good thing.
She also said that I've mentioned to people that I want to work things out with her and I'm to blame for the damage caused in the M, that's true I have said that to people and they've told her, her issue is that I was telling people that but not acting like that when I'm with her.
I said I'm not going to the bbq as I did t want people to feel awkward and she should have a nice time with her family. Her response was no one would feel awkward other than you because nobody gives a s**t if your there or not, but then ends with "I thought we we're going to do things as a family"
I suggest you not be so revealing about why you make certain decisions, while the MR is in this state. I should have mentioned it earlier, that you not "explain" to anyone (especially her) your reasons for not going. It puts you in a victim light, which isn't attractive.
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She has mentioned now that it's uncomfortable living with me as I will only talk to her if she starts talking to me, I can tell she's getting annoyed by what I'm doing, I feel I have more control over myself than I did which is a good thing.
She can't have it both ways.
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She also said that I've mentioned to people that I want to work things out with her and I'm to blame for the damage caused in the M, that's true I have said that to people and they've told her, her issue is that I was telling people that but not acting like that when I'm with her.
You know those people are going to repeat what you've said. She knows that you knew it when you told them. So, it's a big no-no.
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
I didn't go to the bbq but instead went out with a freind.
When I got home my wife was already home, she was actin very surly and giving insults out etc.
Ever since this she has been really off, saying that she doesn't want to get on with me and just wants me out the house, she thinks I'm pathetic, she can't stand looking at me and I make her skin crawl.
She's given up on doing things as a family as I've not been receptive to it, but she says it as though I'm being difficult.
We are not talking at all now and she doesn't want to speak to me in any way
Good for you! I wish I had the guts and confidence to do that!
Me54 WH48 S18 D16 M 22 T 24 EA-PA-EA 2011-2015 Separated 10/14 - 06/15 BD1 02/14 BD2 05/16 BD3 08/21/16 and began drinking again Working on me and liking me again
I'm struggling with thinking about the past, such as the holiday we've been on, the good times we had. We used to go on holiday to the same place each year where the kids loved it, I don't want that to end.
Our Christmas things we do every year too, all gone.
I've resigned to the fact the marriage is over for her, but its upsetting thinking about the future and how different life will be for me and the kids.
Ok so she's is still not talking to me, states that she doesn't want to get on until I've moved out because of the way ive been with her.
She's really angry still but there is a little more conversation day by day. she's going to get a mortgage on Friday and pay me off for my half.
She says she will see how things are when I move out to see if we can get on or not.
I suppose its easier for me like this, no going back on marriage now I don't think, although a part of me still hopes for R, its been getting easier over the past couple of weeks.
I suppose its easier for me like this, no going back on marriage now I don't think, although a part of me still hopes for R, its been getting easier over the past couple of weeks.
Here is the truth for almost everyone on this forum.
Our marriages are over at bomb drop. The question is when we will get the chance to rebuild them. And how much damage has occurred at that point.
Normally you must take the entire building down to the foundation in order to rebuild it safely. A good foundation is a requirement to rebuild also, don't re-build on quicksand, the house will fall down again.
So how do you keep from the maximum amount of damage from occurring?
