Divorcebusting.com Forums Open Forums For Newcomers Detachment, anxiety and the end of limbo 2

Phoebe, I hope you are sleeping soundly after all the hard work!

I saw this picture on FB that I wanted to tell you about - someone hung feather dusters in the boxes for their 2 day old chicks and they all snuggled in them. I thought it was a brilliant idea.

I'm dreading sleep... lots of very vivid and painful dreams for the last several nights. Meditation before bed seems to make it worse! Very typical of me to have a backwards reaction... it's what I do.

I'm still traumatized by the dream I had days ago, so I can totally understand your dread, Painter.

I don't know why, but tonight I ate more than a pint of ice cream, so that meant sleep was a nonstarter for some time afterward. Duh. I think I just wanted to get in a massive block of calories, even if they were empty. Regardless of motivation, here I am, awake after 3 am again, though I really am tired. I was just hoping to avoid the GERD issue of eating that much fat right before bedtime.

I hope that you have dreamless sleep tonight, Miss Paint. You deserve a break.

I think I'm finally getting the sleeping thing under control. I fall asleep well now and have only taken Benadryl once in the last couple weeks. I'm still waking a bit too early, so not getting my dual 8 hours, but Minot complaining. Ivan work with this by going to bed earluer. Yeah!

Glad you fell back asleep again! Did okay here, too, didn't wake up and got about 7 hours total, I think.

Phoebe,

I am glad you are sleeping better! Hope you have a great day!

Oh my goodness. I just read my last post - it's like a comedy routine! When I post from my phone I am at the mercy of the autocorrect on this page, and the result is hilarious!

"dual 8 hours" was supposed to be usual 8 hours. "Minot" = I'm not, and "Ivan," besides being my Russian friend, should be I can.

Autocorrect = a typo-to-gibberish translation program. It always makes me laugh... and look illiterate!

So this morning the process server showed up at my night-time sleeping quarters, but I was still asleep. I came outside and my parents said I woke up 30 seconds too late. I was confused, and asked "for what?" I find the whole thing kind of amusing. They're finally getting warm after a full three weeks. Maybe by next week they will actually find me. I could call them back and put them out of their misery, but it's just so darn amusing at this point.

Beyond that, it's a pretty quiet and overly warm day today. The chicks are raising a ruckus in their brooder box as I type, dust bathing and scratching around. They're funny little things. I let my hens out to range around and scratch and bathe in the real dirt.

The muscles up and down my whole back are tender today from all the mowing on rough ground yesterday, so now I'm convinced that it really WAS significant work! Who knew?

Is it normal to look forward to seeing your therapist as much as I do? I feel like he's the only person that I can be fully candid with about what's going on and my feelings about it. My new friends don't need to hear too much about my issues, my father is sick of it all and totally out of empathy, and my Mom may get there at some point, too. The friends I had before all of this, I leaned on so heavily in the beginning that I'm afraid to wear out my welcome there, too.

So my therapist and this group have become important lifelines. Thank you to everyone who has taken the time to keep up with me and share your kindness. Know that it has made a difference for me.

You keep on making those process servers earn their money. LOL

Don't forget to keep practicing your acceptance speech for when they do get the pleasure of looking you in the eye as they hand the papers to you.

And don't forget to the growl.

Even better try and video it. The look on their face would be priceless and give you something to chuckle at later on.

So, when are you opening a Bed and Breakfast at your place so we can all come visit and enjoy neature with you?

SH, my semi-bed and semi-breakfast is open right now for anyone that wants to check it out. Breakfast is self-serve, and probably consists entirely of eggs!!! You can have them poached, boiled, scrambled, fried, coddled, deviled, shirred, frittata'ed, quich'ed...

Spam, spam, spam, spam, spam, spam, and eggs.

I'm kidding around, but I am serious as a heart attack that you would be welcome.

I was thinking about the server growl just today! Thank you for the reminder. I'd probably just start laughing, though.

Off to find something positive to work on. Can't decide if that means actual work or social interaction. I did spend a bunch of time with my Mom already today, picking up some furniture she bought, having lunch, and then hauling said furniture upstairs to its destination. That was a challenge. I carried the furniture out to the truck with the seller and that was easy. With my Mom - not so much! It's funny how much harder it is to do a job with a person that does not anticipate what needs to be done.

My H was like that. I was reading about people-pleasers, and the book said that they would stand there and wait for directions at every turn, rather than risk displeasing anyone. Ding, Ding, Ding!!! We have a winner.

My mom is not a people-pleaser, she's just not very practiced at moving furniture.

Phoebe, I hope you're having some nice social interaction.

It sounds like you are staying super busy, and that's a good thing. I can tell I have a little too much time to think without the job that I have to go to, but I'm still glad I quit.

I'm really impressed with how you keep on going and doing so much, it takes a lot of self-discipline and energy to not just sit down and mope when you have a choice.

Well, don't be too impressed, Painter. I didn't end up doing anything. I went outside to play with my chickens, crashed in my glider and talked to my L friend on the phone for a little bit.

Then I decided I needed a haircut, drove 40 minutes to the salon and didn't actually get my hair cut after all! The only person cutting was one who has given me a couple so-so haircuts in the past, so I just decided to just leave. It was a total wasted trip. Now I'm just sitting in a fast food parking lot after eating some marginal food and looking at the Newcomers forum. Almost wish I hadn't bothered to eat. I ate too much, now feel yucky, and I don't need that kind of negative association with food. Eating is enough of a chore already.

It's not been a very productive evening, but it was an OK day overall. I think I'm going home to do some nighttime field walking. Way better than sitting in this silly parking lot! What was I thinking???