Reading your successes has made me realise just how far I have come this last month. I have almost completely lost my anger, I have posted all my vents to you guys and have gotten them off my chest. I have reduced the (overpowering) amount of hugging I give W which has given her the space to give me some unprompted hugs herself (lovely). We have ML twice in the space of one month and weekly is on the cards. I have a lot to celebrate and I salute you all for helping me. SD
Oh man, I can't believe how fast the success stories topic dropped to the bottom of the page. And our goal was to keep it up high. But at anyrate, this should boost the topic and hopefully boost folks spirits....
As you know, I had a long confrontation with my W today. She listened to everything I was spewing. Tonight, while cooking dinner, I started talking about this stuff some more etc. She finally stopped me and said "I got something that I bought last week that I was waiting for the right moment to share with you. But seeing as my 'aunt' is here this week, it might not be as good of a surprise". At this point my mind is racing...(hmmm maybe she bought a Liberator...ha) but she asked me if it would make me calm down a little and help me focus on the good things that are *currently* happening in the relationship. Now I'm really intrigued. She went upstairs and brought down the monster Kama Sutra can of Earthly Delights .
God, I can see why my ranting is driving her crazy. She IS doing things. But I should qualify that she's doing them on the sly. She said she wanted to save this for the right moment (where we could really use it during LM). But the truth is that getting this on a night that we won't be together is BETTER because the act filled my tank up, created anticipation of a time we could be together, it's creating excitement too. LM does a lot of these too so getting it is a good replacement to the act of LM. It showed desire, initiative, sexuality and the idea of mutual sharing in an intimate environment. What more could I ask. Wow. She essentially provided 2 hours of LM without touching me by making this incredible gesture. Maybe instead of frequent LM, I need frequent "gestures" of "marital bond". This filled my tank up for at least a week.
It's cute that she so secretive. She wouldn't even say where she got this (oh man I can't imagine her going into our local sex shop...maybe she went to the new age shop)...I'll be scratching my head for a while thinking about this. Once again. I need to tell myself to just "chill the f' out".
Anywhere is walking distance if you have the time
-Steven Wright
Quote: But the truth is that getting this on a night that we won't be together is BETTER because the act filled my tank up, created anticipation of a time we could be together, it's creating excitement too.
WOW! Congrats. I, too, think it's wonderful she took it out at a time she was "unavailable." I'm sure you can't wait for Aunt Flo to leave!
OK, I'm only going to post positive things. No more journaling. When D5 went to bed, I brought the can down (actually, I've been carrying it around all night) and we opened each item to test a small spot on our different parts of our hands. It's got a combination of creams, oils and a powder along with a feather thingy. Some of the items have "warming" sensations while others have "cooling" sensations. It includes a standard massage oil and the powder is a highly scented "honey dust". My W dusted my arm with it, smelled it and proceeded to take a couple licks. Oh man, I can hardly wait. Using this in a LM session will rock! All the experimentation with different sensations. Very cool. While we could use the massage oil now, my W wants to wait for an inaugural session. I couldn't stop telling her how great it was that she did this and that I should / will trust her more.
Anywhere is walking distance if you have the time
-Steven Wright
I'm posting my own success. I was a LD spouse till it drove my H away (he is HD), but now I'm HD. I stopped taking contraceptive, I dressed better and wore sexy undies and boy, my libido went from virtually nonexistent to wanting it almost everyday.
Only problem is still separated from H but we've ML for few times since December, ranging from all day-all nite, marathon sex to quickies when he came to see kids. He is seeing OW whom he cant let go of (he said no sex involved). Is it advisable for me to continue doing this, ie ML to H. Will this bring him back to me? Dunno. But I sure do enjoy those LM sessions with him, the kinkiest and sexiest we ever experienced since er got married 8 years ago.
I've been wanting it for a few days, but heck H not around coz he is busy not hurting OW's feelings! Yuk!
Sometimes the very thing you're looking for is the one thing you can't see..
BnB, You are one hell of a woman. To allow H to be with OW and still want to ML with him? I can only imagine the reason he is not racing back home is that he thinks it might not last and he will be back to square one again. How did you go from LD to HD (or were you always HD really) because if you have the formula us HD entrepreneurs will market it for you and we’ll make Bill Gates look poor! SD
Mixed feeling about this BnB. I think it's great that you re-discovered your libido and are celebrating your sexuality. I think it stinks that he's with OW. And do you really believe he's not having sex with her?
Hairdog, who thinks all men are pigs, because he is one.
I don't know if it's advisable or not. When my h first left he initiated with me a few times and I accepted but eventually he realized he couldn't keep doing that without knowing what the heck he wanted so stoped. He also had ow and claimed that r to be non physical (still not sure if I believe that but wtf).
Point is you have to decide if you are ok with it and what you expect to gain from it.
It could bring him back toward you and thus bye bye ow. He could continue to ml with you and never give her up.
Michelle has a section in her book about it. She says go ahead as it may bring you closer. But she also warns that you must consider your feelings about it too. If you feel used, angry etc afterward well then that's no good right? but I say all the power to you...you're not doing anything wrong by getting busy with your h.
You guys are letting this thread drop...this is pathetic...let's post even "Sort of Super Success Stories" or even "Looks like Success" stories.
Today. I spent the entire day with the family today and was "choosing happiness" all day which was fairly easy. I'm still buzzing from my W's surprise purchase of the sensual products but today, I felt myself getting "jiggety" again because time together means greater opportunity to see "unnoticed attempts at affection". But crap...hope floats you through it. Anyway, my W snuggled up to me for an entire movie tonight. She's wiped out (from a party we went to last night) and is still being visted by her "aunt" so I knew there was no LM on the books. When we went to bed, she nicely moved her hands down and massaged a little and rested her hand "there" for a bit as she was drowsing off. When I got up to take my evening bath (I'm a water freak...shower in the am, bath at pm, a midday shower frequently), she apologized for being so tired. I assured her that I was very happy with what she had done and that I loved her.
BTW. She's shooting for tomorrow to "test drive" the Kamasutra kit.
Anywhere is walking distance if you have the time
-Steven Wright
