First post but long time reader of the forum. I simply want to add that sandi2 is 100% correct about a WW. Take her advice, it is GOLD! My WW fits sandi2's description to a tee! I even experienced the situation with my WW announcing she wanted a D at MC session! I've been applying sandi2's recommendations and continue to hope for the best but prepare for the worst. Take her advice; at a minimum it will help you expect the unexpected. WWs are bat-**** crazy and selfish, no other way to describe them.
Me 45 W 39 D: 8,6 Married 14 years Start MC: Sept '15 BD: 3/30/16 End MC: 4/21/16 PA confirmed: 6/8/16 W moves to basement: 6/12/16
Have been talking with a good female friend ...she thinks I need a bold statement to turn the tide.. To illustrate I'm still in the game and doing things now out of my comfort zone... Boring and predictable. Since I cannot see how I can go from h role to some friend bff confidant handyman role.. She advises me to tell her this in a confident tone, I don't want to be you friend , your buddy or roommate, I want to be your lover and your husband! And as she says give her s kiss of a lifetime... Then walk out and leave...... This goes against db /dt to the core...but this is very out of my character so who knows.. Perhaps sandi or other women could squash this idea as more of begging pleading? Can't recreate a feeling but need something to shift it in my direction...the db&asthma don't do this I think..
I wouldn't do that. You're not ready. She'll just get angry and get closer to D. Remember, she doesn't make any sense and is in extreme selfish mode!
Me: 35 W: 32 S: 4 T: 6 M: 4 Physical Separation official: 5/21 Currently: DR/DBing, Focusing on me and son
Cheating on a good person is like throwing away a diamond and picking up a rock.
I too struggled to see WW features in my W but Sandi and her threads absolutely made me see more clearly. My W isn't in an EA or PA (that I'm aware of) so struggled to places her but she does have is no desire to make the M work and selfishness in abundance.
I don't want to hijack someone's thread but are there any instance where the H initiating D proceedings has brought the WW out of the fog? Or does this just not happen because of the W current state of mind?
She advises me to tell her this in a confident tone, I don't want to be you friend , your buddy or roommate, I want to be your lover and your husband! And as she says give her s kiss of a lifetime... Then walk out and leave...... This goes against db /dt to the core...but this is very out of my character so who knows..
Tofbrks,
I'm betting you're a great guy and a wonderful husband, but if you have to ask the people on this forum if what your friend suggested would work...then it ain't going to work. You're not going to be confident enough to pull it off.
And I'm sorry, I'm not trying to be swashbuckling jerk; I'm little old doodler and I'm just sayin'...
Thanks doodler... No all comments are welcome. There's always talk of this "spark " But is real to w so it must be treated accordingly ... I could pull it off , just weighing options to clear the fog and shake things up... That right there would be a true 180... Timing is my worry.. Don't think she's ready.
Me:47 XW 43 D15 D10 Together 17 married 15 Bd : Mother's Day 2015 Sep :July 2015 Divorce final October 2016
Yeah I guess it makes sense now... How could two people reconcile when one only thinks of themselves and the other thinks of everyone but themselves... Couldn't be farther apart...Sandi mentions tough love I think or tough lesson,should that have been addressed by me before now?
Me:47 XW 43 D15 D10 Together 17 married 15 Bd : Mother's Day 2015 Sep :July 2015 Divorce final October 2016
I'm 2 months in now and have only started implementing tough love so I wouldn't worry too much....It's hard for me because we are living separately so I need to choose my battles as I only have limited contact with her.
First post but long time reader of the forum. I simply want to add that sandi2 is 100% correct about a WW. Take her advice, it is GOLD! My WW fits sandi2's description to a tee! I even experienced the situation with my WW announcing she wanted a D at MC session! I've been applying sandi2's recommendations and continue to hopeless ya for the best but prepare for the worst. Take her advice; at a minimum it will help you expect the unexpected. WWs are bat-**** crazy and selfish, no other way to describe them.
I feel ya Gordon ... Maybe we should compare notes ... Plot against them evil do'er
Did yours start a slide into depravity or is that a wip... Mine is in a steady decline. Out again tonight for a wine down wed. ... Don't wait up honey I'll be late ... She doesn't know the hrs are posted on the places site and close at 9 ... She rolls in at 11... Don't ask a thing
Me:47 XW 43 D15 D10 Together 17 married 15 Bd : Mother's Day 2015 Sep :July 2015 Divorce final October 2016
I don't want to hijack your thread but I'll share some of my story later on. Simply put: lies, deception, and conniving.... I literally can't trust ANY thing she says.
After confirming the PA:
Me: Who are you texting? ( I have a boundary about texting in my presence) W: Sarah (long time friend), here look (she shows me the phone across the table). Me: I am not a fool, I know about the texting apps, you're texting some guy. W: (Deer-in-the-headlights look) Me: (Leave the house, it is my established response to her crossing the boundary).
I need to re-read your S and we can commensurate later!
Me 45 W 39 D: 8,6 Married 14 years Start MC: Sept '15 BD: 3/30/16 End MC: 4/21/16 PA confirmed: 6/8/16 W moves to basement: 6/12/16
