I have no friends-except for one. Everyone else are friends that are mutual with him. I hope they stay friends. I don't know how to move forwards. I don't know how to ask him for a divorce, and I feel back asking for support here because it seems everyone else is the one who was left behind, rather than the one who initiated the divorce. Any input, or direction? Please?
Mono, I'm an introvert too. A huge 180 has simply been the act of going out. I have a buddy who's a bartender at O'Charley's. I go once a week, talk to him and his gf, meet the other employees and enjoy being out. I walk my dog when S is gone. We need to try to go on longer walks, I need it to clear my head and get healthier and the pup just loves it. Go out, get you some new clothes. I bought a new shirt the other day. Got all cleaned up, wore it to work. I looked sharp and felt confident.
As for the D, unless you are 100% certain about it, don't file. And I agree with Coconut. You should go to a pro-M IC.
All this advice is probably overwhelming. You don't have to try 42 things at once. Pick one, or two, and try them for a few days. Don't pay his next bill. Wear perfume all next week. Buy a new dress. Just try one, and then build on it.
Me: 35 W: 32 S: 4 T: 6 M: 4 Physical Separation official: 5/21 Currently: DR/DBing, Focusing on me and son
Cheating on a good person is like throwing away a diamond and picking up a rock.
This week I have seen the husband approx one hour total. Every night when I've gotten out of work he's been out. Today he didn't even leave a note telling me what he's up to. I have no idea where he is. On my way home my heart started beating fast. Anticipating the discomfort of us being in the house together. And relief when I saw that his car wasn't in the driveway. It shouldn't be like this. I am lonely. I had a dream the other night that I was in a relationship with someone, not the husband. We kissed in the dream. That is all. But I haven't even had that level of intimacy with someone in a very long time. I miss it. And I don't necessarily miss it with the husband. It's been quite a while since I really felt that pull towards him. I have tickets to see Jim Gaffigan with him next week. But I don't really want to go. Not with him. It's so sad. I feel like a failure, like I screwed something up. But in reality I know I contributed alot over the years. Yet it never seems enough for him, he always would come back and tell me I was being unsupportive. As if being the only income in the home, doing the housework, etc isn't support enough, while he sat at home all day "Working" (read: talking it up on facebook, going to bars to "network", and producing very little art). I am resentful because of this. Like I said, I feel like a bad person.
Still in limbo. I anticipate his coming home and I get anxious. Today I left work sick (although I think it's anxiety) and he made sure he was out of the house before I got home. In the past, he would have stayed to take care of me. I feel so alone, but I'm not sure it's him that I miss...
