Divorcebusting.com Forums Open Forums For Newcomers What Should I be doing (5)

Thanks RSG, it is baby steps for me. My sitch turned around so fast my time to DB was limited to less than a month, but I recognize the benefit of living it forever, so I will continue.

So, W came back from karate and started asking all the questions I thought I wanted her to ask earlier, but once she started asking, I realized it was my time and my experiences, so I gave limited details and focused more on the laughs and Male bonding we all had.

I've managed to not ask questions today, except for one, which was regarding how things are going at the fire station since I posted the texts, I figured that was a fair question since it was my doing, and I just validated her response. Basically she said that there is a lot less chit chat when at the station, and she's just basically cut back on trying to bond with the others and is just doing the job and letting time go by and for things to settle down.

So I'm thinking that coming to this site may be triggering my mind to run wild with thoughts of the affair, so I may try and stay off during the upcoming work week. I'm not making it a hard and fast rule, just gonna cut back a little and see if that affects me and my thoughts at all. I will come on if anything happens worthy of posting or seeking advice, but other wise just wanted to say I'm not leaving the site, just taking a breather.

We have our first gottman based MC on Tuesday, looking forward to it.

If you've found a true Gottman based MC in your area, that really knows their sh1t, I'm a little jealous. A lot of MC spew around the basics of Gottman's research, but don't focus a practice around it. I hope to find someone like this in the future in my area, but then again, I'd just be happy if my W's corpse would be willing to consider going to MC at some point in the future again.

I'm assuming you've read the Gottman books? Our MC suggested both the "seven principles" and "five love languages" books to us on our first visit. My W said she read both, but when we discussed topics within them, I could tell she had no effing clue what was going on... Liar! haha.

I wish the best to you in your next MC session, Cnut.

So had a good night last night with W, and a really nice morning. But I'm here because my W posted a pic of her and our S on Instagram this morning, I went on to see the pic and comment on it. I saw OM liked the pic, and my blood boiled, I feel Like he invaded my life by liking a picture with my son and for the first time I really want to confront him in a not so nice way. Anyway, my W told me she unfriended this guy on Instagram and I looked in her following list and saw him on the list.

I'm gonna keep the duct tape on for a little bit, but I don't know if I can hold it in for long..

She might have stopped following him, which would prevent her from seeing his posts.

He will still see her posts until she blocks him.

She has to block him or make her account private.

Your feelings are understandable, I remember the first time I saw OWW's profile picture of her and mY D. I blew a gasket. Not on her, not on him, just let it all out to some friends, and I was reminded there was nothing I could do.

I don't think it is an unreasonable boundary at all for her to block him.

I agree with the others. This is not controlling. This is protecting. Plus she said she had done so already. Did she lie or is there a miscommunication?

I understand your reaction and probably would react similarly if in the same position but is your reaction proportional to the "offence"? I think it is inappropriate and untasteful on his behalf, but I am not sure it merits taking out the baseball bat......again.

Glad ye are having good time together. That is important.God luck with your first MC session

Ok, I talked to her about it, and she did unfollow him, and she showed me on her phone that she isn't following him, so I'm not sure why when I look her up on my acct it shows her following him. Anyway, I never use Instagram and she doesn't really use it much, so she said she didn't know she could block him, she tried to stop him from following her but couldn't find a way to do it. She said she would find out how to block him and do it.

As for the baseball bat, probably a bit over zealous, but it would feel good right about now. It sure upset me a whole lot more when I saw him like a picture with my son than when I saw he liked a pic of my W... I told her that I understand she can't control OM actions, but I will take action if needed to keep him away from my S.

Coconut,

Your wife should take a picture of you with a baseball bat and post it on Instagram.

Brilliant!!

Excellent doodler