Divorcebusting.com Forums Open Forums For Newcomers First Post - Need help (2)

I get that it is frustrating and disappointing. It's clear she is prioritizing herself over your R with your kids. Which isnt really shocking, even though it is very irritating.

Im confused as to why you cant talk to them. Will they be with a sitter? Does that person have a phone?

I have no idea why I couldn't speak to them. If I'm honest I didn't want to get into an exchange with her so I used it as an opportunity to show that I had a life and make her question what I was doing.

Thinking about it my wife is always present when I speak to her and my conversation with the kids is always on speaker phone.

Had a really vivid dream about me and my W fixing our M and getting back together, woke up feeling crushed.

I don't know how much more I can take.

Had a really vivid dream about me and my W fixing our M and getting back together, woke up feeling crushed.

I don't know how much more I can take.

Hi Kyler. It does get easier but you have to keep yourself busy and get yourself a life doing the things that you always wanted to. There is always hope but living in it doesn't help you move forward.

Do you see an IC , I won't have dreamed of going to one before all this happened to me but now I can't praise them enough. You can't cope with this on your own so get help

Post often mate , lots of people on here have suffered as you are. The vets on here are priceless and they will chime in when they think they can help but you have to give them as much info as you can

Take each day as it comes and know that life can chang very quickly

Take care. Rd

I'm 2 sessions in to counseling and I don't feel any benefit from them. The sessions seem to be focused around my W and figuring out her actions.

I'm just losing heart with my sich, she doesn't seem to be acting out, there is no EA or PA, she isn't contacting me, she isn't angry or volatile. She seems to just be ticking along like nothing has happened, like its perfectly acceptable to ask me to leave the house and remove me from my children.

Kyle,

I know the feeling as it relates to the counseling sessions. It took me until the 9 to or 10 the session before I felt there was value. I also realized that it was on me to create the value for the sessions. You are in charge of where the sessions should be going. Also, if you do not feel that the IC is meeting your needs. Find a new one. Give the current one a chance, but know you can always find one that meets your needs if this one does not.
I had to tell my IC at one point that I did not want to discuss my WAW and her actions. This was a good turning point in my sessions. I encourage that you take control of the sessions. MWD gives good advice on how to select an MC. IMO, selecting and IC should be done in much the same way..

Keep putting in the work to heal and gain strength. I tell folks here, that emotional healing is much the same as physical healing. It takes time, effort, support from others and patience. When you go to the gym and start working out, you don't see results after the first one or two times you work out. Right?

You have to keep at it, change behaviors, attitudes and go through trial and error to get the results you want.

Hang in there my friend. It does get better. Stay on track and do not lose heart. You children need you and you deserve to feel peace and joy. You will, if you keep putting in the work.

Based on my previous post I would like to know what people think I'm dealing with? Is it a WAW or just someone who has fallen out if love.

If you need more details then let me know and I will be happy to give them.

Have you read Db/DR?

This question does not change what you need to do. WAW, MLC, ILYBINILWY, WS. It is all the same as for what you need to do now.

Focus on you.