I think it's time for some healthy detachment. I would even consider turning the phone off when he's out carousing. If necessary let him know that you will be doing this as you need to care for yourself and what he did was akin to emotional abuse last night. Is there a support group locally for family of addicts?
SadSara, i went to an Al-anon meeting this past Sunday, which is the support group for the family and spouses of addicts. the do have al-ateen as well but my girls look at me crazy when I suggested that they may can go. My eldest D is going to a counselor my other D isn't. I don't want to push, but I will keep bringing it up with her to try and get her there, b/c i think it will help her where I cannot.
detachment. i don't know how hard im trying. it is extremely harder this 2nd time around. I know i can do it, b/c i did it in the past. i do have to remember this is about me and getting healthy. I have started making plans for this week and next to meet up with friends to go for walks and or out for a coffee.. Step by Step, right?
wife of an addict M 39 H 39 D18 D 16 Together 19 M17
emotional day! can't figure out how to keep a PMA going. i have been sitting here freaking out over joint counselling tomorrow.
i am crying sitting at my desk at work. I am sure I look like a fool.
i know in my mind that I need to detach, be strong, GAL, etc. in my heart, its screaming at me and it hurts when it beats. sitting here i feel like its not be able to beat again.
i do have a meeting with my coach in an hour and 1/2 and struggling to make it thru
wife of an addict M 39 H 39 D18 D 16 Together 19 M17
I find that speaking to as many people as possible helps me to introspect and deal with my emotions. Dealing with this without a big enough support group will feel as though your world is so small. Share your pain.
Just cos things are going right, doesn't mean that they were always wrong.
Doodler, vise82, and ddj. Thank you for reassuring me that I'm OK. I can have bad days too. I did have a good meeting with my coach. She is always helpful. She reminded me that I need to do what makes me feel good. If it doesn't don't do it. If it does then keep plugging along. Positive note. Ate supper with D. Nothing big but better than what I have done until past few days. I guess losing a few pounds in this process wont hurt me 😃.
D just told me I don't even want to see dad right now. So now D (18) AND D (16) want nothing to do with their dad. I don't know what to do. I guess pass that info along in counseling tomorrow. I was thinking of asking H to move back in for financial reasons. But I think this is God's way of telling nope not quite yet. We both have some more work to do to get him back home!
wife of an addict M 39 H 39 D18 D 16 Together 19 M17
Detaching is so HARD!!! Does anyone else HATE social media? H is posting crap out there and it's very hurtful and also just breaks my heart. I can't do this. I just can't. H still has it showing M to me but today he posted that your love of a life time comes after mistake of life time
wife of an addict M 39 H 39 D18 D 16 Together 19 M17
DDJ, thank you. I do dislike social media of any sort. Lots of lies and people try to make life sound do much better than they really have it. It's only the "good times" you see. Then the H thinks they are so happy and always partying. I'm missing out. My phone is my only means of communication to any of my family. My mom is struggling with some medical issues. I am trying to turn it vibrate to help somewhat.
wife of an addict M 39 H 39 D18 D 16 Together 19 M17
